Why dating and relationship experience is irrevelant to how good a lover you will be

May 16, 2011

Listen, dating is hard. It’s hard for independent people with dating experience and good jobs. Trust me. I know from firsthand experience. Your circumstances make it even harder for you. You seem to have an "accept for me for who I am" attitude. That's a noble thought, but it doesn't work like that in the real world.

I’m going to go off topic a bit because I don’t think how great a lover you could potentially be matters at all. It’s irrelevant because it’s going to be hard for you to get to that point with no job and living at home. Honestly, it’s not the lack of relationship experience that would concern me the most, but rather the fact that you have no job and live at home.

women rule out men, for stupid things like prior relationship experience, not having a job, living at home

Sorry, but these are not stupid reasons to rule out a man. How would you be able to go on dates with a woman with no job (and hence no income)? Independent adults have nothing in common with a man who isn’t independent and doesn’t support himself. I honestly can’t relate, as I’ve been independent and supporting myself since I was a teenager. I understand people go through periods of hardship in their lives, but then they shouldn’t expect dating to be easy and should choose people in the same place in their lives.

Someone controlling, immature, insecure, needy, or strangely rebellious might tolerate these things, but most stable women will not.

It can happen, but it’s rare, and you will have to settle, as the women will probably not the cream of the crop (emotionally).

I know of three women off the top of my head who date (or dated) men with no jobs:

1. She has a trust fund and doesn’t work. He lived with his grandma and worked sporadically. He’s good looking, very fit, and charismatic (despite having no work ethic). Her family hated that she dated him and she loved that they hated it. She also had a lot of control over him because she ended up supporting him (he lived her for awhile before they broke up). She liked that he could spend so much time with her (no pesky job to get in the way).

2. She has an ex husband who used to cheat. Now she has a man with no job who she supports (she has a very good job). He has no vehicle. He literally NEVER leaves the house without her and she likes it that way. He stays home and smokes pot. He’s tall, thin, very nice, and very friendly.

3. She left a man with a good job for one with no job. The guy with the good job is short and pudgy. The guy with no job is tall and attractive. Would she have dated short pudgy guy if he had had no job? I think we both know the answer to this. She’s also said she kind of likes him not having a job because most other women won’t want him.

Pattern here: Insecure, controlling, immature, needy, and/or rebellious women. Good looking, confident men.

Moral: Be hot or get a job.

Don’t expect people to change for you. To get what you want in your life you have to willing to change (when it involves relationships with others). If you got a job and supported yourself, I think it would do wonders for your self esteem, which would make it easier for you to ask women out. I have a feeling that the women who would be willing to date you right now are not women you’d want to date because they will likely be unstable/undesirable in some way.

May 16, 2011

Ditto! I'd rather have a unexperienced partner who's willing to figure out what we both enjoy, than the experienced partner who thinks he already knows it all and assumes that what worked for his previous girlfriends works for me. (Been there, done that, and wasn't at all satisfied. I bet more than a few past girlfriends faked it, which doesn't help with learning from 'experience'.)

Precisely. The bf has only ever had one other sexual partner, and has never indulged in kink before, but when I told him of my kinky bedroom desires he was open to it, did lots of research about it and was great. :love: Sure there were a few hiccups here and there, but I'm pretty sure screwing 10 other girls prior to me wouldn't have prevented those.

May 16, 2011

Ruling out because of lack of previous relationship experience...yes I would say it's silly.

Having no job, well, I can see how a woman could rule a guy out for that, as well as living with the parents (unless of course he is 18 or 19 or around that age range)

May 16, 2011

The reason for this is because, virgins are seen this way by people who have been with multiple partners, or perhaps had been promiscuous in their sexual lifestyle.

And when they come across a person like this, well, it's just a reminder of how bad they feel about having had lead such a lifestyle. And somehow turn that guilt into something else, like making fun of virgins.

This is no different than those who drink a lot to make fun of those at parties that drink little or none at all. They are VERY uncomfortable around people like this, because of their own regrets of having lead such a lifestyle, that they perhaps should've waited longer before getting laid in their car in Highschool, and the umpteen times they did it in college.Even adults do this.They somehow judge the virgin for their misgivings from the past, and they probably get even the feeling a virgin wouldn't be good enough for them. The idea of them having had 20 sex partners or so and then the very thought of sleeping with a virgin, panics them, being around someone like this would just make them feel bad about themselves and would be a reminder of how they've not lead the kind of life the virgin did.

It's kind of sad when someone doesn't find someone being a virgin as "sweet and romantic that someone is saving themselves" as someone that has the Scarlett letter.

Imagine how the tides turned, now , the Scarlett letter is for the virgin.

The Scarlett Letter is no longer an "A", but a "V". :

You're right. Society is really messed up.

May 16, 2011

You're right. Society is really messed up.

Yeah, you are perfect, it's just society thats baaaad. If only women would recognize what a great catch an unemployed guy who lives with his parents is.

May 16, 2011

Yeah, you are perfect, it's just society thats baaaad. If only women would recognize what a great catch an unemployed guy who lives with his parents is.

Well he's not the only inexperienced guy who is having problems. How much of a catch is a 23 year old who's graduating from college on Friday, is reasonably good looking, lives at home only temporarily, has a diverse set of hobbies and interests, and is a genuinely friendly person?

From my lack of dates (and relationship experience) I'd say I'm not at all a catch.

May 16, 2011

yeah men may be more accepting than women. Hum sweet, a positive trait we have ;-). Some of this post will probably offend the women folk (I wonder if calling them that offends them? haha).

May 16, 2011

Well he's not the only inexperienced guy who is having problems. How much of a catch is a 23 year old who's graduating from college on Friday, is reasonably good looking, lives at home only temporarily, has a diverse set of hobbies and interests, and is a genuinely friendly person?

From my lack of dates (and relationship experience) I'd say I'm not at all a catch.

Just like the OP I doubt you try! You need to be asking out girls and making bold moves if you want a gf. Being a college graduate and good looking will only help.

Living with family will probably hurt.

Still you need to try. When I was single I easily made moves on atleast 10 girls a week who I found attractive and would be excited about dating. Don’t just sit on here complaining get out and do the things you like while looking for people to share in the fun. (like friends & a girlfriend)

May 16, 2011

Just like the OP I doubt you try! You need to be asking out girls and making bold moves if you want a gf. Being a college graduate and good looking will only help.

Living with family will probably hurt.

Still you need to try. When I was single I easily made moves on atleast 10 girls a week who I found attractive and would be excited about dating. Don’t just sit on here complaining get out and do the things you like while looking for people to share in the fun. (like friends & a girlfriend)

Yeah I definitely don't try. For two reasons: 1) I have no idea where to meet women without cold approaching them (there's really hardly anything to do where I live) and 2) I've given up hope; I'll see a girl in class or on campus and think: "there's no way she'd be interested in me" and never talk to them.

I basically think 99% of women are out of my league. The few times I've been on dates with women who had similar interests they bailed after a date or two. After that I think I got pessimistic and stopped trying.

And the living at home thing will be temporary while I look for a job and save money to get my own place. The plan is 6-12 months to be on my own.

May 16, 2011

Yeah I definitely don't try. For two reasons: 1) I have no idea where to meet women without cold approaching them (there's really hardly anything to do where I live) and 2) I've given up hope; I'll see a girl in class or on campus and think: "there's no way she'd be interested in me" and never talk to them.

I basically think 99% of women are out of my league. The few times I've been on dates with women who had similar interests they bailed after a date or two. After that I think I got pessimistic and stopped trying.

And the living at home thing will be temporary while I look for a job and save money to get my own place. The plan is 6-12 months to be on my own.

Every date I ever had was through cold approaches. Say you are at a deli you like getting lunch. You see a pretty girl in line or eating what ever. You can say one of a million things it doesn’t matter. It’s just flirting.

Like if she is in line with you waiting to order. “what are you getting today?” Then you hear her response and you take it from there. Like if she says “I’m getting the turkey on rye” you can be like “Yeah I always get the turkey but on pumpernickel.” You’re smiling cause you like her, hopefully she’s smiling cause its awkward. Then you ask her out. “Since we obviously like the same food I’d like to test that some more and take you out, how about we do dinner tonight?” If tonight isn’t good but she wants to see what night is good like the next day or something. She’ll give you her number and then on the date you need to try too. That means making moves and being yourself instead of treating it like a job interview. Talk about fun flirty things and if your funny make her laugh. (I love making my girlfriend laugh, its great when she makes me laugh too) Don’t be afraid to touch and kiss her. Waiting until many dates have gone by is lame. You should be trying on the first date if that what you want to do, if she’s not ready she’ll let you know but you still score points for being confident enough to try.

May 16, 2011

Every date I ever had was through cold approaches. Say you are at a deli you like getting lunch. You see a pretty girl in line or eating what ever. You can say one of a million things it doesn’t matter. It’s just flirting.

Like if she is in line with you waiting to order. “what are you getting today?” Then you hear her response and you take it from there. Like if she says “I’m getting the turkey on rye” you can be like “Yeah I always get the turkey but on pumpernickel.” You’re smiling cause you like her, hopefully she’s smiling cause its awkward. Then you ask her out. “Since we obviously like the same food I’d like to test that some more and take you out, how about we do dinner tonight?” If tonight isn’t good but she wants to see what night is good like the next day or something. She’ll give you her number and then on the date you need to try too. That means making moves and being yourself instead of treating it like a job interview. Talk about fun flirty things and if your funny make her laugh. (I love making my girlfriend laugh, its great when she makes me laugh too) Don’t be afraid to touch and kiss her. Waiting until many dates have gone by is lame. You should be trying on the first date if that what you want to do, if she’s not ready she’ll let you know but you still score points for being confident enough to try.

Huh. I'd personally find this creepy, myself. Being asked out by someone whom I've barely spoken two sentences to would be an instant creep factor, for me. Add that to an attempt to touch on the first date... ugh. My advice to them would be to get to know a girl a little, know what makes her tick, and adjust your strategy to suit their style. 'Know your opponent', so to speak, instead of blindly charging at them with a battleaxe.

But eh, different strokes for different folks. If you've had success with yours, they might have it too if they try it. Although I really don't think it's a good strategy for those who take rejection harshly and personally, as I think the OP just might.

May 16, 2011

Huh. I'd personally find this creepy, myself. Being asked out by someone whom I've barely spoken two sentences to would be an instant creep factor, for me.

ONLY if you weren't interested, otherwise it would not be creepy......to you.

May 16, 2011

ONLY if you weren't interested, otherwise it would not be creepy......to you.

QFT. Attractive men are never called creeps.

May 16, 2011

ONLY if you weren't interested, otherwise it would not be creepy......to you.

Err, no. I can't possibly see how I would be interested in someone I've hardly said a word to, anyway, and I don't see myself agreeing to a date with the guy behind me at the grocery store. I don't know him, I don't know anyone who knows him, and he could be a serial killer, rapist, conman or stalker for all I know, geez. If you meant handsome men, I don't think they do this sort of stuff often, but if they did I personally wouldn't find them any less creepy. I'm not the sort of person to give a person a free pass to do whatever they like just because they're good-looking - I know plenty of people, both men and women, probably do, but not me.

At any rate, I doubt the guys this poster was giving the advice to are the sort of guys to get that sort of free pass, for I doubt they'd be needing advice if they were. I mean, Brad Pitt would probably not be called a creep by lots of women if he did that, but he wouldn't need to in the first place. So the point is moot.

May 16, 2011

Err, no. I can't possibly see how I would be interested in someone I've hardly said a word to, anyway, and I don't see myself agreeing to a date with the guy behind me at the grocery store. I don't know him, I don't know anyone who knows him, and he could be a serial killer, rapist, conman or stalker for all I know, geez. If you meant handsome men, I don't think they do this sort of stuff often, but if they did I personally wouldn't find them any less creepy. I'm not the sort of person to give a person a free pass to do whatever they like just because they're good-looking - I know plenty of people, both men and women, probably do, but not me.

At any rate, I doubt the guys this poster was giving the advice to are the sort of guys to get that sort of free pass, for I doubt they'd be needing advice if they were. I mean, Brad Pitt would probably not be called a creep by lots of women if he did that, but he wouldn't need to in the first place. So the point is moot.

The point is, that even if you think it's weird to be hit on in a public place, other women don't. You may think it's weird to be touched on a first date, other women get put off if a guy doesn't make a move fast enough. It's simply too difficult to sit around and worry about how each individual woman will respond to being approached.

A guy's best bet is to just do put himself out there and learn to accept that rejection is a part of life. What does a guy that hits on you at a grocery store have to lose? If he doesn't hit on you, he'll probably never see you again anyway. There is rarely a perfect time and place to approach someone.

Huh. I'd personally find this creepy, myself. Being asked out by someone whom I've barely spoken two sentences to would be an instant creep factor, for me. Add that to an attempt to touch on the first date... ugh. My advice to them would be to get to know a girl a little, know what makes her tick, and adjust your strategy to suit their style. 'Know your opponent', so to speak, instead of blindly charging at them with a battleaxe.'

"But eh, different strokes for different folks. If you've had success with yours, they might have it too if they try it. Although I really don't think it's a good strategy for those who take rejection harshly and personally, as I think the OP just might.

Personally, I find it much easier to deal with getting rejected by a stranger than someone I invested time into getting to know.

Edited May 16, 2011 by chuckles11

May 16, 2011

The point is, that even if you think it's weird to be hit on in a public place, other women don't. You may think it's weird to be touched on a first date, other women get put off if a guy doesn't make a move fast enough. It's simply too difficult to sit around and worry about how each individual woman will respond to being approached.

A guy's best bet is to just do put himself out there and learn to accept that rejection is a part of life. What does a guy that hits on you at a grocery store have to lose? If he doesn't hit on you, he'll probably never see you again anyway. There is rarely a perfect time and place to approach someone.

Oh, I agree. As I said, my advice was just to get to know girls a little before asking them out - at least then you WILL have an inkling about her likes/dislikes/personality. He's definitely entitled to his advice.

May 16, 2011

"Oh, I would never date an Asian girl"? Keep in mind that this is purely fictional, I have no problems with either race. I'll bet someone will call me a racist, based on saying that. Well, how is that any different than not dating someone who lives at home, is a virgin, doesn't have a shiny car, doesn't work, etc etc etc?

You can keep extending this. By your standards woman should also not write off hobos, autistics, cripples, etc. Basically everyone deserves a shot right? Well why should woman date YOU when there are men who have homes, cars, good jobs, etc.? What do you bring to the table? And as for Chris Martin, he is an international rock star. His being a virgin was CHOICE. If he wanted he could have had orgies every night with women most men can't dream of having, and women know this; you on the other hand are a schlub with NO PROSPECTS. The day you stop making nonsensical comparisons and work on yourself is the day you come up in life. Hell, if you need to get laid to get some experience take a trip to tijauna or bangkok or something. I assure you that the women there will not judge you for not having had a girlfriend

May 17, 2011

If I did a cold approach, I would be arrested, probably.

Oh, and Richard? You are on my ignore list now. Have fun.

May 17, 2011

Yeah, you are perfect, it's just society thats baaaad. If only women would recognize what a great catch an unemployed guy who lives with his parents is.

Look, I was employed and lived on my own for three years, and I wasn't reeling in the chicks. Clearly that isn't it.

Oh, and I think a caregiver, or someone who cares about family, IS a great catch. All I'm doing by living at home is ruling out the women who would date abusive *******s. I probably am doing myself a favor.

May 17, 2011

... I noticed that experienced girls have less complexes and inhibitions when talking about sex.

I definitely agree with you on that.

Girls are given many negative and conflicting messages about sex and their own sexuality from an early age, usually that they need to remain virgins or at least not have many sexual partners. It's no wonder that only after some positive sexual experiences they can let go of the garbage they were taught. (Though some never can.)

On the flip side, boys are told they need to go out and "sow their oats" -- which leads to insecurity about not having enough or any sexual experiences by a certain age -- and thus, discussions like these are born.

Either way, it seems like the first obstacle to good sex involves getting past the crap society taught us.

May 17, 2011

You're absolutely right.

I feel like there's a timeline here. I'll be 29 in October, and 30 next year...what if I'm still a virgin by then? What if I still haven't kissed? Am I a loser?

I'm a good looking, kind, and gentle man who loves women. But I feel like they don't - or wouldn't - love me, based on the responses to this thread and many others. I feel like I have so many strikes against me, that I shouldn't even bother.

Oh, and the idiot who said Chris Martin was a millionaire...well, that proves that money CAN buy happiness. Therefore, should I work on my personality, or my bankbook?

Are women only prostitutes, who can be bought with money? Because, I can tell you, most friends I know who are married are dirt poor, and they seem to do alright.

May 17, 2011

Huh. I'd personally find this creepy, myself. Being asked out by someone whom I've barely spoken two sentences to would be an instant creep factor, for me. Add that to an attempt to touch on the first date... ugh. My advice to them would be to get to know a girl a little, know what makes her tick, and adjust your strategy to suit their style. 'Know your opponent', so to speak, instead of blindly charging at them with a battleaxe.

But eh, different strokes for different folks. If you've had success with yours, they might have it too if they try it. Although I really don't think it's a good strategy for those who take rejection harshly and personally, as I think the OP just might.

I used to think that girls in general thought the way you do. Now I'm having doubts after reading about Dust's posts.

I would love to meet some girls through common activities/interests and get to know them a little and then ask them out. This has been my strategy, but that strategy results in very little dates for me as I meet very few women. At this point I'm willing to give cold approaching a try. I can't do any worse than how I'm doing now.

May 17, 2011

Huh. I'd personally find this creepy, myself. Being asked out by someone whom I've barely spoken two sentences to would be an instant creep factor, for me. Add that to an attempt to touch on the first date... ugh. My advice to them would be to get to know a girl a little, know what makes her tick, and adjust your strategy to suit their style. 'Know your opponent', so to speak, instead of blindly charging at them with a battleaxe.

But eh, different strokes for different folks. If you've had success with yours, they might have it too if they try it. Although I really don't think it's a good strategy for those who take rejection harshly and personally, as I think the OP just might.

All we can is be ourselves. Guys generally have an aggressive streak in them. What I mean is it isn’t unusual for a man to want to cold approach a girl but his own fear of judgment holds him back. All I’m trying to do is motivate people to be themselves, the confident version what ever that means.

I’ve pretty much all my girlfriends through cold approaches. I wouldn’t have had my current relationship of almost 3 years if I hadn’t decided to just introduce myself and invite my gf to an event. She ended up saying “maybe” when I asked her and later “no.” We had exchanged numbers though and ended up talking on the phone and some weeks later started going out.

To further hit this home I wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for cold approaches. My father met my mother when they were both on vacation. They were actually from different countries. Glad it worked out and I exist though. Good thing my father didn’t ignore that pretty girl on the beach.

Finding things “creepy” is a concept that doesn’t apply to most guys. Every girl is different too. All a guy can do is be himself and find the girl who willing to take the risk with him. Also as a guy I feel we have to make things happen. That means we are more likely to get rejected in the very beginning. After the initial start of the relationship the man gets his chance to reject. Its just because we are expected to put ourselves out there to be rejected that we are more likely to get rejected. I mean its rare for a girl to ask out a guy or make a move for the first kiss etc.

ONLY if you weren't interested, otherwise it would not be creepy......to you.

QFT. Attractive men are never called creeps.

I think if you start worrying about whether a woman is going to thing you are a creep you’ve already lost. You need to just be yourself and now worry about if some women will find you creepy. The same things that are considered cool and romantic are also considered creepy. Guys who do bad with women often have this worry of becoming the famous creep guy around town. The truth is if you became the Quagmire of your town you would probably get lots of women. Getting lots of women was never my goal when single. I just wanted to find the right girl for me. I didn’t care if a girl would find me creepy at first or forever. I think its best not to care about that kind of thing.

Err, no. I can't possibly see how I would be interested in someone I've hardly said a word to, anyway, and I don't see myself agreeing to a date with the guy behind me at the grocery store. I don't know him, I don't know anyone who knows him, and he could be a serial killer, rapist, conman or stalker for all I know, geez. If you meant handsome men, I don't think they do this sort of stuff often, but if they did I personally wouldn't find them any less creepy. I'm not the sort of person to give a person a free pass to do whatever they like just because they're good-looking - I know plenty of people, both men and women, probably do, but not me.

At any rate, I doubt the guys this poster was giving the advice to are the sort of guys to get that sort of free pass, for I doubt they'd be needing advice if they were. I mean, Brad Pitt would probably not be called a creep by lots of women if he did that, but he wouldn't need to in the first place. So the point is moot.

Just think about any number of romantic movies. Anything from “Titanic” where Jack meets Rose to the “The Notebook.” These are romantic movies about people coming into each others lives out of no where. Unexpected. Many women do find this idea romantic and are open to meeting some one randomly say at the beach, park, or concert.

The entire idea of locking eyes with a stranger across the room and lust/love at first sight is always an exciting one. If its not for you then fine. Many people including myself can feel an attraction for a stranger they just see out some where even if they don’t know them. I will of course get to know them and hopefully that will grow the attraction instead of kill it.

The point is, that even if you think it's weird to be hit on in a public place, other women don't. You may think it's weird to be touched on a first date, other women get put off if a guy doesn't make a move fast enough. It's simply too difficult to sit around and worry about how each individual woman will respond to being approached.

A guy's best bet is to just do put himself out there and learn to accept that rejection is a part of life. What does a guy that hits on you at a grocery store have to lose? If he doesn't hit on you, he'll probably never see you again anyway. There is rarely a perfect time and place to approach someone.

Personally, I find it much easier to deal with getting rejected by a stranger than someone I invested time into getting to know.

Oh, I agree. As I said, my advice was just to get to know girls a little before asking them out - at least then you WILL have an inkling about her likes/dislikes/personality. He's definitely entitled to his advice.

I agree with everything you wrote. You have to put yourself out there, the more you do the better your chances. It’s about being yourself and not letting fear of failure stop you from living your life the way you want to.

Being rejected doesn’t even have to hurt that bad. If you tell yourself that it will be ok then it will be. Being rejected by some stranger or person you don’t know that well is a lot easier then being rejected by a person you’ve spent time dating or getting to know.

If I did a cold approach, I would be arrested, probably.

You can’t get arrested for flirting and then asking a woman out. This is what they call an excuse. More to the point you’re holding yourself back through fear. Free yourself from the cage you created. This advise applies to more then just women by the way. Like your dreams.

You're absolutely right.

I feel like there's a timeline here. I'll be 29 in October, and 30 next year...what if I'm still a virgin by then? What if I still haven't kissed? Am I a loser?

I'm a good looking, kind, and gentle man who loves women. But I feel like they don't - or wouldn't - love me, based on the responses to this thread and many others. I feel like I have so many strikes against me, that I shouldn't even bother.

Oh, and the idiot who said Chris Martin was a millionaire...well, that proves that money CAN buy happiness. Therefore, should I work on my personality, or my bankbook?

Are women only prostitutes, who can be bought with money? Because, I can tell you, most friends I know who are married are dirt poor, and they seem to do alright.

Work on being yourself. If you could wish for anything and had infinite wishes what would they be. What are your passions. Don’t let fear of your future and past hold you back. Live in the now and be who you want to be.

I used to think that girls in general thought the way you do. Now I'm having doubts after reading about Dust's posts.

I would love to meet some girls through common activities/interests and get to know them a little and then ask them out. This has been my strategy, but that strategy results in very little dates for me as I meet very few women. At this point I'm willing to give cold approaching a try. I can't do any worse than how I'm doing now.

Even with girls in your class that would have been a cold approach. I mean you just had an opportunity to slowly build because you had a good predictor of where to find them each week.

It is a lot easier to meet girls at a social even like if your friends throw a dinner party or something. Not every one has friends that do that though. Even if there friends do that chances are you might not have any potential dates there. Take the power into your own hands.

Don’t worry about the future or past. Live in the now and get trying. Get yourself out there and most importantly learn to have fun trying. When I was single I actually learned to enjoy going after girls instead of dreading it. In fact I almost found myself not wanting to get in a relationship. When you meet the right girl though you wish you had met her sooner and you really fall into a different reality known as the honey moon phase.

Stop being hard on yourself.

May 17, 2011

Even with girls in your class that would have been a cold approach. I mean you just had an opportunity to slowly build because you had a good predictor of where to find them each week.

It is a lot easier to meet girls at a social even like if your friends throw a dinner party or something. Not every one has friends that do that though. Even if there friends do that chances are you might not have any potential dates there. Take the power into your own hands.

Don’t worry about the future or past. Live in the now and get trying. Get yourself out there and most importantly learn to have fun trying. When I was single I actually learned to enjoy going after girls instead of dreading it. In fact I almost found myself not wanting to get in a relationship. When you meet the right girl though you wish you had met her sooner and you really fall into a different reality known as the honey moon phase.

Stop being hard on yourself.

I guess I've let my past failure cloud my vision and perspective. Whenever I see a cute girl who looks interesting I don't think "hey, she looks cool, let me say hi to her" I think: "another cool girl who's probably really interesting, but she'd just reject me or not be interested, I'll walk away now and not say anything".

Obviously this is not a helpful way of approaching things. I think I will endeavor to start having conversations with random women that I find reasonably attractive and/or interesting and see where things go. As I've said before, I can't do much worse.

May 17, 2011

I guess I've let my past failure cloud my vision and perspective. Whenever I see a cute girl who looks interesting I don't think "hey, she looks cool, let me say hi to her" I think: "another cool girl who's probably really interesting, but she'd just reject me or not be interested, I'll walk away now and not say anything".

Obviously this is not a helpful way of approaching things. I think I will endeavor to start having conversations with random women that I find reasonably attractive and/or interesting and see where things go. As I've said before, I can't do much worse.

Nice bro, I like that talk. Well, the general idea of it anyway!

Do you already banter in general? When I'm in the right mood, I'll strike up a conversation with whoever, if for some reason I have something I just want to say.

I find that it's good practice for being a pleasant person.

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