change Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 I wasn't abusive. I wasn't a drunk. I legitimately really screwed up. But I don't deserve the way I'm being treated right now! Where did seven years of our lives together go? How can they be cast aside so easily and with so little thought? I can't believe that she's taken over the house and everything in it as her own. I can't believe she asking for half of the rent still and other financial support to recoup losses during the marriage. I can't believe that after 1.5 months she's dating already and may be entering another relationship. I can't believe she's going on our backpacking trip this summer by herself and living out our dreams at the place I PROPOSED TO HER by herself. I can't believe that I'm still utterly cut off from my inlaws, whom I have an excellent relationship with and still consider me to be their son, in her need for "distance" from me. Everyone in my life has told me that you don't erase seven years in the blink of an eye and that my wife is putting on a good show. But is she? It certainly appears that the last seven years... all the laughter, all the tears, her thanking me for being her lifelong companion... are just GONE from her mind. Gone. It's like she's dancing on the grave of our marriage. I'm not coping well. I have to go by this morning to pick my rain jacket up for work. The temptation to drop to my knees and beg, which I have yet to do this entire time, is so strong as to be debilitating. I feel pathetic. Worthless. I'm horrified by what's happening in my life. I just got a new, more lucrative job yesterday. I'm pulling my life together without her. But I don't want to take another step. I'm not sure that I'm strong enough.
TaraMaiden Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 I trust you have taken legal advice and have contacted a lawyer about your rights? Don't take everything as read, and accept things as she has decided. you must ensure you have a secure hold on things. The property is not hers, for example. You have a legal right to half. For goodness' sake, take legal advice, now, and file for divorce before she can!!!
The Great Gazoo Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Damn, you poor guy. I'm there with ya. and I've been there the last three weeks. Stay strong. Where there's life, there's hope man. Don't beg, don't humiliate yourself. Not worth it and will backfire anyway. Why would she want to be with someone that she doesn't respect. If you beg she'll lose respect. If she's a woman of worth she'll come back to you. If she isn't then... No kids? Pick up the pieces one by one and put your life together without her. Start to hope for a long and healthy life without this bad woman in your life. Make your self strong and happy and then go on to find someone that will treat a good man such as yourself in a more appropriate way.
soserious1 Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 (edited) Chance, No, you weren't a drunk but you did deprive her of intimacy while requiring that she remain monogamous and you expected her to support you fiscally.You stopped being a husband and became a roomate she was stuck supporting. This is a rented apartment you are talking about, let her have the place, just make sure you get your name off the lease. As to the rest see a lawyer to help with division of household items and to see if you might be able to have the court to order her to provide you with health insurance and pay you rehabilitative alimony. Edited May 16, 2011 by soserious1
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