SpiralOut Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 There's this woman I work with who is usually very nice but she has this bad habit of picking apart everything I do. She likes things to be done exactly her way. If it is done another way it is wrong. Sometimes I'll do something someone else asked me to do, for example, and she'll start criticizing why I am doing that!! Hello, someone else told me to do that. That is why I am doing it! Arghh! Anwyay, I only just started a couple of months ago so I've been just dealing with it since I was new and didn't know everything I was doing of course. But this past Friday I was asked to stay late, which meant I would be staying a half hour later than her, by myself. I have stayed late a few times now. There were things that needed to be done. Most of these things it didn't matter in what order they were done, so long as they were finished by the end of the night. She did her work, I did mine. When she ran out of things to do she walked over, saw that I put a piece of paper somewhere, and told me to not put it there. See that would have been fine but the tone of her voice was quite bossy and rude. It pissed me off because a) I am the one staying late and I have lots of time to fix whatever little things need to be fixed b) I am not 100% trained so of course I am not going to be perfect, c) it is not the end of the freaking world that I put a piece of paper in a particular spot and d) there is no need to use a rude tone of voice. It is also angering me because I have been given more responsibilities and left on my own to do things at the end of the day so I feel that gives me the right to make certain choices on my own. But how can I do that when she tells me don't do this, don't do that, all the time. Most of the time it is stuff that doesn't even matter that much because there is more than one way of doing things!! And if I make a mistake, I need to be able to just make it and learn from it on my own. I wish she would just leave me alone and have more trust in me. I don't think it is a personal thing against me. I have seen her do this with the other women at work. She is normally nice to me. And she has even told me that if I don't like her tone, to just go ahead and tell her so. She knows that she can be annoying at times and she feels bad about it but can't seem to help being crabby. I guess my problem is that I am not good at standing up for myself. I usually bottle things up and then explode. Anyway I guess I know what I need to do I just need to get this off my chest because she is driving me crazy!!!!
spiderowl Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 I'm not surprised she is driving you crazy: she is intrusive and micro-managing. If she is your boss, then you are in a difficult position. She is actually bullying you by being so nit-picking and critical. Look up information on bullying and harassment at work. You could try tactfully pointing out that you need to be left alone to do things as she is being critical of you and it's not helping. You could try joking about it to see if she gets the hint (I suspect she won't). It sounds from what she's said as if she's aware she winds people up; in which case, you could remind her of what she said and say that you think you can be trusted to get on with things alone now, after she's shown you the ropes. Regardless of the above, these people are an absolute pain and you tend to get them in most workplaces. Make notes of what she does, date, subject, criticism - you never know when you might need a record. Try the tactful ways above and if they don't work you could talk to HR. Tackling this situation is not easy though and as soon as you try to take it further you could be risking your job. That is not to say you would be wrong to do that, not at all. You have every right to expect respect and not to be harassed by a super-critical person. I am simply pointing out that in the real world, sometimes things are difficult. Are there any unions in your workplace? May be worth joining, if so, and seeking confidential advice from one of their advisors.
Author SpiralOut Posted May 16, 2011 Author Posted May 16, 2011 Thankfully no she is not my boss. She has been working there for a very long time so although she is sort of an authority figure, she isn't technically my supervisor. I work for a very small company so I prefer to deal with it between us first and only report her as a very last resort. It would cause really bad feelings and make me look bad within the company if I were to report her. I definately do feel as though I'm being picked on. Next time something like that happens I'll tell her that she doesn't need to say it like that. I've heard other people say that to her and she'll apologize. My main problem is in keeping my temper. I've been told that when I get angry I am scary which is why sometimes I just don't say anything and I wait for her to walk off and I just seeth under the surface. I have trouble controlling the tone of my voice when I'm angry and it can be a bit too much at times. Ughhh well at least she gives me a good way for me to practice my anger management skills. Thanks for the advice. It's good to know that I'm not imagining things.
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