4321sn Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 I haven't been posting for quite some time but I wanted to give an update. So many times people disappear and I wonder what ended up happening to them. I haven not posted since November. Briefly...MM was here at my house. Left his google account logged on...he went home and I looked...I'm sure you know where this is going. He had been lying about several things. Little lies but still. It all came out that he had never been to MC with his w and hadn't had all of those "difficult conversations". He was afraid to leave and lied until he had the courage ti go. I told him final straw. I was done. Said don't ever call me again, you played games with me. Made me thunk things that were not true. I can nevr trust you again. He said he would be out before Christmas, when all along he never even told her... I was done. I said I am chosing for you.. Stay with her...He came back. Made promises, and tried to make things right. He did not confess to our affair but in January brought me to his lawyers office and allowed me to sit in. Filled the papers. He has had to deal with the kids who are 16 and14. He did not expose the affair as the lawyer told him it complicated things but he has introduced me to his sister and had told his parents about me. He moved out and stays with me 5 days a week and with his sister twice. We have been going to couples therapy as well as individual therapy. He has agreed as per out therapist to allow me to have random access upon my request to his texts and emails. It is part of how trust will be regained. My divorce is messy...it has been going on for ove a year now. He may very well be done before me! I love him very much. Even with all the hurt o er the past 2 years I would it again. He is so good to my kids...patient...He is taking care of my house-painting-landscaping-repairs. My house was neglected for many years and he wants to make it nice for me and my children. I see him more realistically now... But still adore him. I am happy. At the end of a long day being cozy in bed laughing at stupid tv shows is perfect... We know there are no guarantees but we are working toward being together. Now that we are at this point, what about his soon to be ex? Should he confess? What about his kids? This is where it gets complicated... Ty for reading...
bentnotbroken Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 I haven't been posting for quite some time but I wanted to give an update. So many times people disappear and I wonder what ended up happening to them. I haven not posted since November. Briefly...MM was here at my house. Left his google account logged on...he went home and I looked...I'm sure you know where this is going. He had been lying about several things. Little lies but still. It all came out that he had never been to MC with his w and hadn't had all of those "difficult conversations". He was afraid to leave and lied until he had the courage ti go. I told him final straw. I was done. Said don't ever call me again, you played games with me. Made me thunk things that were not true. I can nevr trust you again. He said he would be out before Christmas, when all along he never even told her... I was done. I said I am chosing for you.. Stay with her...He came back. Made promises, and tried to make things right. He did not confess to our affair but in January brought me to his lawyers office and allowed me to sit in. Filled the papers. He has had to deal with the kids who are 16 and14. He did not expose the affair as the lawyer told him it complicated things but he has introduced me to his sister and had told his parents about me. He moved out and stays with me 5 days a week and with his sister twice. We have been going to couples therapy as well as individual therapy. He has agreed as per out therapist to allow me to have random access upon my request to his texts and emails. It is part of how trust will be regained. My divorce is messy...it has been going on for ove a year now. He may very well be done before me! I love him very much. Even with all the hurt o er the past 2 years I would it again. He is so good to my kids...patient...He is taking care of my house-painting-landscaping-repairs. My house was neglected for many years and he wants to make it nice for me and my children. I see him more realistically now... But still adore him. I am happy. At the end of a long day being cozy in bed laughing at stupid tv shows is perfect... We know there are no guarantees but we are working toward being together. Now that we are at this point, what about his soon to be ex? Should he confess? What about his kids? This is where it gets complicated... Ty for reading... When they find out(they do have functioning brains right?) you will be the only one to trust what comes out of his mouth.
Author 4321sn Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 I know. I am sure they will figure it out. His kids go away all summer then what when they come back? He lies to them every day in when he is with me. He was at my daughters Communion and then later that night was at his sisters celebrating his sons birthday. There is no way around it. He cannot lie about where he is. When he was here he was on the phone with his daughter and my dog barked. He had to lie about his sister dog sitting. He is in therapy and his therapist is suggesting to confess. Idk. Idk anyway around it. In all of this I know that personally I would have preferred the truth even if it was hurtful... Any suggestions? I do not have the need to meet the kids and be a "family" because I know they will blame and hate me for a long time. We made a mess...and now how do we deal with the kids who will be hurt... Does he wait until after they come hime from summer vacation and then say he met someone? Confess the truth? Idk...
bentnotbroken Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I have no idea what to tell you other than if I were you, this is one situation I would step out of(his kids and how they find out). It is his mess he continues to heap more on top of. If he is in counseling and still holding to his lies....it doesn't appear he has much intention of making a change for the better. It seems whatever suits him is necessary and screw anyone else....especially his children:sick:
Author 4321sn Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 I agree with you. I don't understand how he can continue to lie.. He wasn't to change and be a better person but lies to me and now his kids... So just let it go? Let him figure it out? This also outs a burden on his parents and his sister...
Author 4321sn Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 He loves his kids and is so afraid they will never forgive him. But if they find out it will be worse. He can't protect them. Not telling them where he is is wrong. And what happens when my kids meet his someday and mine start talking about what we did "last summer" or whatever... He doesn't want them to hate him but this is going to explode in his face... As it is he did not prepare them or her. There were no conversations. He just walked out because he knew I was done...
26pointblue Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I'm happy that things have worked out for you. What does your MM [boyfriend? Not sure of the status right now . . .] think about 'coming out'? It sounds like he wants to keep lying, keep your relationship in the closet, & that doesn't sound like it's a healthy way to be living. I think this is the biggest issues with affairs that make it . . . do you come out into the world as a real couple, thus rubbing it into the STBXW & kids' face & hurting them unnecessarily? Do you stay a secret & feel that you are not getting the benefits of a normal relationship? And when you do finally come out, do people not put two & two together & then feel even more hurt & insulted?! I think that they would. That's why I really think that being honest is the best option for everyone involved . . . it kind of sucks temporarily but in the long-term it will be for the best. My xMM has kids kind of around that age & he was so worried that they would hate him & they in fact did for awhile. [We had quite the saga of him moving out & back with his wife knowing about me, him moving out & back when we were apart/ not in the affair, him getting kicked out once we had resumed the affair & she re-found out . . . so I think at different times his kids were confused, & hurt . . . mainly they were hurt & mad at him when their mom was hurt, which is understandable. I feel that he did it all wrong & that the only way was to be honest & just say he is not happy & wants out of the marriage . . . not just string everyone along. But I feel he was confused & didn't know what he wanted & didn't want to cause more pain than necessary although he ended up causing way more than necessary, if that makes sense. I think it is very hard & painful to be in this position & I feel for you. I really think the truth is going to have to come out if you are to make it as a couple & if you guys don't want to make everyone's pain & confusion even worse. At this point since they have filed papers, etc., can't he just tell his wife & kids that he is dating you?
Mimolicious Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I know. I am sure they will figure it out. His kids go away all summer then what when they come back? He lies to them every day in when he is with me. He was at my daughters Communion and then later that night was at his sisters celebrating his sons birthday. There is no way around it. He cannot lie about where he is. When he was here he was on the phone with his daughter and my dog barked. He had to lie about his sister dog sitting. He is in therapy and his therapist is suggesting to confess. Idk. Idk anyway around it. In all of this I know that personally I would have preferred the truth even if it was hurtful... Any suggestions? I do not have the need to meet the kids and be a "family" because I know they will blame and hate me for a long time. We made a mess...and now how do we deal with the kids who will be hurt... Does he wait until after they come hime from summer vacation and then say he met someone? Confess the truth? Idk... What does the therapist suggest? I mean, I can only tell you one thing. How is it ever going to work, if you can't be part of his children's life? That's like still living a double life, just not with 2 women. Sucks! Hope that things settle in and in a smooth transition. Everyone deserves happiness and at most peace of mind.
Author 4321sn Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 I guess this summer gives him a buffer since they will be gone from the end of June until end of august. While they are away he says he's dating? Then maybe I meet them in October?? Idk It is up to him but does that soaked reasonable?
Mimolicious Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I guess this summer gives him a buffer since they will be gone from the end of June until end of august. While they are away he says he's dating? Then maybe I meet them in October?? Idk It is up to him but does that soaked reasonable? More lies? Sounds reasonable, yeah for the time being. One day the truth may surface, who knows may not cause any havoc or it might. It's a gamble. It is up to him to tell his kids whatever he feels suitable but it's up to you to go along with it. I guess play the part that you feel the most comfortable playing. What is reasonable to you? What would you do, if you were him?
26pointblue Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I guess this summer gives him a buffer since they will be gone from the end of June until end of august. While they are away he says he's dating? Then maybe I meet them in October?? Idk It is up to him but does that soaked reasonable? It does sound reasonable but I don't agree that it's all up to him. You're a couple now, right? You need to make important decisions together. Yes they are his kids & he needs to do what's best for them but is lying & living a double life really what's best for them?! I would be livid if my father did this to me as a teen [or anytime]. I believe I deserve to be told the truth about/by the people closest to me, even if I don't like it. This was actually a big reason I kept breaking off things with xMM, I kept putting myself in his wife's & kids' shoes & thinking, how would I feel if I were being duped like this? [i'm not claiming to be a saint- I kept going back to him against my conscience. But finally I realized I needed to lead a full, authentic life & not help him live a double, lying life - I started to push for the truth & for him to give the truth to others & that's when we came crashing down. If I had been content to remain his secret we would still be going, perhaps for years. But I could no longer live like that so please believe me when I say I understand your predicament. Even when my xMM was separated I was a secret & he was still living a double life & not being honest with his kids. That affected me, & this affects you & I think you have every right to give him a reality check & let him know what you want. (I guess first you have to figure out what you really want here.)] Good luck.
Mimolicious Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 It does sound reasonable but I don't agree that it's all up to him. You're a couple now, right? You need to make important decisions together. Yes they are his kids & he needs to do what's best for them but is lying & living a double life really what's best for them?! I would be livid if my father did this to me as a teen [or anytime]. I believe I deserve to be told the truth about/by the people closest to me, even if I don't like it. This was actually a big reason I kept breaking off things with xMM, I kept putting myself in his wife's & kids' shoes & thinking, how would I feel if I were being duped like this? [i'm not claiming to be a saint- I kept going back to him against my conscience. But finally I realized I needed to lead a full, authentic life & not help him live a double, lying life - I started to push for the truth & for him to give the truth to others & that's when we came crashing down. If I had been content to remain his secret we would still be going, perhaps for years. But I could no longer live like that so please believe me when I say I understand your predicament. Even when my xMM was separated I was a secret & he was still living a double life & not being honest with his kids. That affected me, & this affects you & I think you have every right to give him a reality check & let him know what you want. (I guess first you have to figure out what you really want here.)] Good luck. The bolded reminded me of something. I'll share it with you, so that you can see a different side of it. My xH till this day wants to make believe to my children that his OW doesn't exist. Of course they know she does, she is not a secret. Is he still living the double life? Yes. Is he still lying to our kids? Yes. Is she a secret? No. He's just not man enough to say the truth, not even to children. Some people are just not wired to be honest. Sorry.
Author 4321sn Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 It is good for me to hear these things... They are just adjusting to him moving out a few months ago...idk He should tell them... There is no way around it...it's just a matter of when. Now or this summer.
Mimolicious Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 It is good for me to hear these things... They are just adjusting to him moving out a few months ago...idk He should tell them... There is no way around it...it's just a matter of when. Now or this summer. Remember, things happen when they are supposed to happen. I just really hope that it doesn't bring more drama and pain to any of you, especially the children. That breaks my heart to see kids hurt. I have 2 that do. Good luck and keep us posted! (HUG)
phillyfan Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Dude: bottom line - he lied 2 u about tellin his wife, he lied to u about goin to counsellin with her, etc, and yet u stayd with him...all these months lata, he still hasnt left his wife yet, yet u still stay with him. So he aint leavin cause he dont want his kids to be mad at him? Well u do the crime u do the time buddy - take some frickin responsibility. Thats the bottom line. The dude wants both of u, he wants the good stuff, he dont want 2 handle any of the hard stuff that comes with it.
26pointblue Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 The bolded reminded me of something. I'll share it with you, so that you can see a different side of it. My xH till this day wants to make believe to my children that his OW doesn't exist. Of course they know she does, she is not a secret. Is he still living the double life? Yes. Is he still lying to our kids? Yes. Is she a secret? No. He's just not man enough to say the truth, not even to children. Some people are just not wired to be honest. Sorry. This doesn't surprise me at all. I think my xMM had a double identity similar to your xH & wanted certain people [his wife & their friends etc.] to see him one way, & other people [me, his work partners, his own friends that weren't necessarily his wife's friends, etc.] to see him another way. He could not merge the two different sides of him & I was not content to play one 'part' for him or live in one 'side' of his life. I wanted him all or nothing & I'm sure his wife did too. In fact his wife commented to me that 'he must be completely living a double life.' Yeah he totally was. It was so hard for him to tell the truth to anyone [his wife, me, his kids] if he thought it would hurt them. Sometimes it was just all in his head that they would even be hurt about it & I also tried to get him to see that even if they would be hurt by the truth, they'd be more hurt by finding out about a lie . . . but it all fell on deaf ears. He was just conditioned to lie, even to himself I think. I began to see that he wasn't purposefully 'evil' & didn't mean to hurt people but he had bad coping skills & I didn't want to be apart of it because I got hurt & so did everyone else. Yeah if he & I had worked out I could totally see him keeping me a secret or not acknowledging my existence when it suited him & that would really not be pretty.
Author 4321sn Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 Phillyfan Maybe you have me confused with another poster. He LEFT his wife. He filed for divorce. Served her with papers. Her attorney replied. They have a date to meet in court a week from tomorrow because in NY you need to have a pre divorce hearing with a court appointed mediator with both parties and lawyers present. None of his things are at his former house. Everything is here...
Author 4321sn Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 Yes 26point. My BF says that he was a trying not to hurt anyone but ended up hurting everyone. He has a real problem with that. I said I may be mad if you tell me something I don't want to hear but if you lie to me, I will be mad, and I will be hurt because you lied. I said so what? People get mad at you... It doesnt last forever but when they found out you've lied that lasts...that stings... No more lies... However there needs to be a middle ground between being truthful and not being cruel. For him to go to his kids ring now and say I left your mom for another woman and I am living with her and her kids would be cruel...there has to be a way to ease into it. It is a terrible situation...
jwi71 Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 I haven't been posting for quite some time but I wanted to give an update. So many times people disappear and I wonder what ended up happening to them. I haven not posted since November. Briefly...MM was here at my house. Left his google account logged on...he went home and I looked...I'm sure you know where this is going. He had been lying about several things. Little lies but still. It all came out that he had never been to MC with his w and hadn't had all of those "difficult conversations". He was afraid to leave and lied until he had the courage ti go. I told him final straw. I was done. Said don't ever call me again, you played games with me. Made me thunk things that were not true. I can nevr trust you again. He said he would be out before Christmas, when all along he never even told her... I was done. I said I am chosing for you.. Stay with her...He came back. Made promises, and tried to make things right. He did not confess to our affair but in January brought me to his lawyers office and allowed me to sit in. Filled the papers. He has had to deal with the kids who are 16 and14. He did not expose the affair as the lawyer told him it complicated things but he has introduced me to his sister and had told his parents about me. He moved out and stays with me 5 days a week and with his sister twice. We have been going to couples therapy as well as individual therapy. He has agreed as per out therapist to allow me to have random access upon my request to his texts and emails. It is part of how trust will be regained. My divorce is messy...it has been going on for ove a year now. He may very well be done before me! I love him very much. Even with all the hurt o er the past 2 years I would it again. He is so good to my kids...patient...He is taking care of my house-painting-landscaping-repairs. My house was neglected for many years and he wants to make it nice for me and my children. I see him more realistically now... But still adore him. I am happy. At the end of a long day being cozy in bed laughing at stupid tv shows is perfect... We know there are no guarantees but we are working toward being together. Now that we are at this point, what about his soon to be ex? Should he confess? What about his kids? This is where it gets complicated... Ty for reading... Hi 4321, I remember you and I'm not surprised you are back. I couldn't remember all the details so I went back and refreshed myself on your history. This R of yours has one constant: YOU ARE HIDDEN. You have been hidden now for what...two years now? At every point he cites fear of losing kids love, W make it hard - just last summer you posted on his IC and this. And where has that gotten him? Nowhere. No progress. Still hidden. Still lying. Still lying to you. He will NOT change. He has had YEARS to do this. Still he fails. Still he lies. This is WHO he is. This is your present and your FUTURE. My advice, you had it right when you told him to go. But you hvae done this before. It has no merit, no teeth - your MM and I both know its just words...wasted breath. You will of course stay. Just realize and understand, this is WHO and WHAT he is - its on display and after 12+ months of IC, no change. Good luck.
Author 4321sn Posted May 18, 2011 Author Posted May 18, 2011 I hear you, I do... He has not hidden me from his family. I have met one of his sisters twice and his parents know all about me. I sat there and listened when he told his father who is a minister all about me and everything he had done. He calls them all the time from my house and I hear them on the other line so I know he is telling the truth. I am hidden from his kids and soon to be ex wife, but one needs to be careful. When your spouse finds out you had an affair during a divorce it gets very very sticky. My divorce has gone one for almost a year and a half because my soon to be ex is so angry. So much crap has come out about my H...he was hiding money, had a problem with risky investments. Totally wiped out over 200k of his 401k 2 years prior o the affair. I am so stressed...but that is another story... I do not feel that he needs to tell his kids for ME...I am happy that his family knows. He is very close with his parents who were non judgmental. His father said that he wished he had ended his marriage before beginning a new relationship. Then asked about me and asked if he thought is was a something that would be a long term relationship...idk...I'm rambling... I am just glad that he has filed. I am not under some illusion that we will be a happy family with all four of our kids. Then need to know not for me but because they should know where their dad is living and he should not be leading a double life... Does that make sense?
Author 4321sn Posted May 18, 2011 Author Posted May 18, 2011 He never went to IC...he was lying about that... He has a lot in his background that I now know through our couples therapy. His parents were told when he was age 2 that he would not live until 20 because of his diabetes. He feels like he caused so much suffering for his mom. He had another issue happen to him (do not need to go into details)...that he kept from his mom because he could not bear to see her hurting or in his mind to be responsible for causing her pain. He is always worried about hurting people but as he said he ends up hurting everyone. He has done everything he has promised. Given me access to everything. I drive him to his twice weekly therapy session and we go to our therapy together. Idk...am I being snowed?
jwi71 Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 He has not hidden me from his family. Not true. You are hidden from his kids and his stbxw. And I'm not trying to be nit-picky or snarky here at all...but he is hiding you. And whats worse, his family is engaging in this tapestry of deceit - they all hide it from the kids. And they are teens for Pete's sake. They are old enough to be told as adults and understand what they are being told. They have some semblance of emotional maturity to process this. Yet they lie. They hide. They conspire. Why? To protect the kids? Its too late for that. Damage is done. And, imo, its even worse about this - I mean, when they find out, and the truth has the damnedest way of coming out, they will fell DOUBLE betrayed - by him AND the family "in the know". This, I fear, is a powder keg of emotion, fueled by deceit, ready to blow. And everyone gets hurt. You, your kids, him, his kids, the stbxw...whatta mess. I think your best bet is to BACK OFF, settle each others D SEPARATELY, heal and THEN start to date. Get out of the A mentality which STILL exists (you are still, despite your protestations, hidden) and be "legitimate". I have met one of his sisters twice and his parents know all about me. I sat there and listened when he told his father who is a minister all about me and everything he had done. He calls them all the time from my house and I hear them on the other line so I know he is telling the truth. I agree its a positive step - but, like the above, why does everyone lie to the grown kids? I agree that there is likely no point in telling his stbxw...but she will find out anyway when the kids do. I am hidden from his kids and soon to be ex wife, but one needs to be careful. When your spouse finds out you had an affair during a divorce it gets very very sticky. My divorce has gone one for almost a year and a half because my soon to be ex is so angry. I went through a D that directly stemmed from an EA/PA. BTDT. But this is part of the "price" to pay. MY advice is, again, back off until each of you have finalized your D's. Yeah, I know, not happening. So much crap has come out about my H...he was hiding money, had a problem with risky investments. Totally wiped out over 200k of his 401k 2 years prior o the affair. I am so stressed...but that is another story... Thats precisely WHY you need separation and space. I wonder if your stbxh's anger is fueled by your MM staying at your place and interacting with HIS kids. See where I'm going...maybe some distance would help YOUR stbxh simmer down.... I do not feel that he needs to tell his kids for ME.. Not for you. For them. For Him. For whatever R he has with them. For respect. HE OWES IT TO THEM. Time for him to lead by example and, pardon my French, stop being a cowardly lying weasel. Man up. DO you have concerns that his kids will accept you? How do you think that will effect your R with your MM? Then asked about me and asked if he thought is was a something that would be a long term relationship...idk...I'm rambling... Its a great question. What did you say? What does your MM say? I am just glad that he has filed. I am not under some illusion that we will be a happy family with all four of our kids. This is just so sad. And it will doom you to everlasting hell as long as you and your MM insist on doing this wrong. Which, by lying and hiding and conspiring you are doing. I would suggest...well, you already know. You, him, the four kids NEED couples counseling. To help heal and deal with rifts in this newly formed, yet ill-formed, family. Kill this cancer. The longer you wait, the harder it is to do. Then need to know not for me but because they should know where their dad is living and he should not be leading a double life... You NEED them to know for YOU and YOUR KIDS. HE needs them to know for HIMSELF, the KIDS and their R. You can't be diagnosed with cancer and simply wish it away. You gotta ACT. Does that make sense? Yes...I hope I did.
jwi71 Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 He never went to IC...he was lying about that... He has a lot in his background that I now know through our couples therapy. His parents were told when he was age 2 that he would not live until 20 because of his diabetes. He feels like he caused so much suffering for his mom. Is he in IC now? Now wonder HE hasn't changed...he hasn't tried (unless he's in IC now). You know, its horribly disrespectful to lie. Why does he keep lying to you? How can you trust him? Honestly, I think, by going forward, you forfeit any indignation should he lie again (and he will - its all his coping mechanism...and thats a very bad thing imo). He had another issue happen to him (do not need to go into details)...that he kept from his mom because he could not bear to see her hurting or in his mind to be responsible for causing her pain. I don't think this is very healthy. Do you? Does his mom know now? Would you want your children hiding something like this from you? He is always worried about hurting people but as he said he ends up hurting everyone. Then maybe he should consider IC to help him alter his actions and the thought processes behind them. He has done everything he has promised. Given me access to everything. I drive him to his twice weekly therapy session and we go to our therapy together. Ah...so he is going to IC...and its intensive IC at twice a week. He has serious issues. You say you have access to everything...but he still managed to lie per your first post. Idk...am I being snowed? Believe it or not, I don't think so. I think his lying and deceit, just based on everything you have posted on him over the years, is his nature. Its how he copes and deals. Its almost reflexive. I'm not sure its fueled by malice though - not that it makes any difference, lying does nothing but erode trust. It will require intense IC and lots of love, patience and forgiveness to stand by him through this. Even when more lies surface and Im betting more will - and they'll be whoppers. Easy? No way. Not even close. His IC is at least showing a willingness to tackle it. One last point...why do you drive him to IC? Is it to make sure he goes? If so, just realize its the tip of the iceberg. Good luck...no one knows the future but the actions I read are not indicative of a happy ending here...and you sense it too. You've already said so. I would still back off and each of you work on your issues and try to keep contact at a minimum.
Author 4321sn Posted May 18, 2011 Author Posted May 18, 2011 Thank you... I agree with it all. He told his father that this does have the potential to be a long term relationship. Said that I have been very good o him and supportive and he has failed me in many ways. I am concerned that my kids will tell his kids by accident someday since they are only 8 and 11. Like remember last year at so and so's house??? My stbxh does not know that my BF stays here because she never sees the kids or calls them. He moved 2 hours away. Did not come to my daughters Communion. He stopped paying support so my parents and my BF are helping me... I know what you are saying. He is a compulsive liar. I know I should leave. I know this rationally but I am so codependent...I am in therapy twice a week too. I drive him because he said e had been going and lied and never did... It was a condition of me giving him a chance I want to get away from him. I feel anxious that he is lying all the time... Leaving him is too scary for me Thank you so much for taking so much time to help me. I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness... I need to hear these things...
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