Why do men view women as sex objects?

May 16, 2011

IME, refraining from 'objectifying' women sexually, even achieving a marked balance of sexual desire in combination with respect and value, is pretty much a one-way ticket to the 'brother-zone'. After all, these days, women will occasionally f*ck their friends (FWB), but a brother is an incest no-no. Brother-zone. New word. LOL

So, why? As mentioned prior by men, because it *works*. It stirs a woman's loins, even if she and dismisses him as a 'neanderthal'. Pragmatism equals survival of the genome.

ETA happy 22,000 posts

Edited May 16, 2011 by carhill

May 16, 2011

Exactly. I never understood the objection to objectification. To me, it's sort of the purpose of sexual attraction. How can you hope to be viewed as beautiful and not an object. It's sort of the same thing.

May 16, 2011

If you could get to experience what it's like to be me, to feel completely sexually undesirable because no one has ever shown any interest in you. You'd never complain about being viewed as a sex object again.

Actually Ross I have experienced what it's like to be sexually undesiable, i gained lots of weight, wore unattractive clothes, (no makeup, though i have always only worn makeup rarely) and rarely left the house. It was an absolute relief.

In the end, the reason I decided to lose the weight, wasn't to get male attention, it was because it sucked being so large and unfit. In the end I said screw it, and got in shape and lost the weight, because I feel happier this way, but even as i did it, I dreaded the return of male attention.

Maybe if it were possible for you to be a hot woman (not man), and experience what it is like having the animalistic males prowling around, then you would understand a perspective besides your own.

May 16, 2011

Another potential is the male who has the lifetime sexual attention experience of that overweight woman who never leaves the house, interspersed with indignity of being laughed at when he expresses his polite interest absent of sexual objectification and disrespect. You're quite welcome to walk that life path though I wouldn't recommend it. Far healthier to accept the occasional objectification and feel socially connected to those who would desire you, IMO. Isolation can be a killer, even for those of us used to it. Happy you feel better.

May 16, 2011

Another potential is the male who has the lifetime sexual attention experience of that overweight woman who never leaves the house, interspersed with indignity of being laughed at when he expresses his polite interest absent of sexual objectification and disrespect. You're quite welcome to walk that life path though I wouldn't recommend it. Far healthier to accept the occasional objectification and feel socially connected to those who would desire you, IMO. Isolation can be a killer, even for those of us used to it. Happy you feel better.

Yeah my comment was to Ross, because he seemed to think that a woman would necessarily miss the sexual attention if they weren't getting it anymore. I have met many middle aged women, who once they have got out of their marriages, were quite happy to do away with all male sexual attention forever.

I love having my gorgeous body back, but not because of men, rather I enjoy feeling sexy for myself, which is why I am more likely to dress up all sexy to dance around the house by myself, than I am to do it and go outside. Also as you would know from previous posts, I am completely turned off by aggressive men, I prefer men to behave reserved and respectful. To me that shows a mastery of the self, I have yet to master.

May 16, 2011

No, then that would make her partially accountable. Let's just stick with all the bad ole men out there objectifying the blameless women.

You see in femspeak, asking women to accept some of the blame for the results of their choices or really any gender issue at all is equivalent to blaming it ALL on them.

Well, I'll happily give the girls on this forum a chance to vent. The number of "Why do all girls ONLY like bad boys, jerks, ***holes, etc... and not good guys?" posts is ridiculous. Everytime I see a new one I want to write some long winded response saying the guys writing these posts are idiots, and to give their heads a shake and just see the light. But alas, sometime before me someone already responded like that and some new but identical thread has already opened and it was all in vain. [Am I ranting?] So I'll let the girls vent a little bit here. I'll even support them because actually, I agree with them on this one [generally].

Exactly. I never understood the objection to objectification. To me, it's sort of the purpose of sexual attraction. How can you hope to be viewed as beautiful and not an object. It's sort of the same thing.

The point you're missing here is that women want to be viewed as more than just a sex object. Of course when they dress up sexy and go out they want some attention as a sex object. That's because at that point in time they're expressing that dimension of themselves. But when they're walking through the halls of their apartment building, or sitting in a cafe or buying groceries they're not, and they don't want attention that way. And that's fine. They might prefer being appreciated more as the brilliant lecturer teaching your class instead of the hot professor you want to bone.

We all want to feel wanted, but just not for the one, physical aspect of ourselves. It's nice when a girl gives me attention at a club because she thinks I'm cute, but if, say, we ended up meeting later and it's clear she can't see anything more than that then I'll feel unappreciated for my other qualities. This would be a fairly isolated incident for me because I'm a guy, but many girls live this day in and day out.

Do I objectify girls? In a sense, yes. I love girls, particularly beautiful ones. If I can sense we might have something going I'll chat and flirt, but I'm also interested in what she thinks, has to say, what she's passionate about and just generally the type of person she is. I'll tell you a lot of girls REALLY appreciate this. I don't sleep with nearly as many girls as some other guys, but I can say that I have far more experience (despite my handle, I was just being modest when I chose it. I also had much less experience at the time.) than most my age. And I'm not ashamed to say I haven't slept with tons of girls because I respect them and because I actually LIKE them. If my goal was just to ***k them every chance I could get to fool them into liking me, I probably could, but I'd feel bad because I'd know some of those girls would be on this thread here posting another example of some jerk they dated for a while.

I think guys in general just need to change their whole mindset about what they think of their potential in relationships with girls. When they see they can actually have fulfilling friendships and stimulating conversation (which can be just as rewarding, if not more but in different ways) they might see that women aren't just someone you're supposed to sleep with first and maybe get to know later.

***k. I need to stop myself here. I could go on. I didn't realize I had that pent up. Yeeesh.

Edited May 16, 2011 by SomewhatExperienced

May 16, 2011

Actually Ross I have experienced what it's like to be sexually undesiable, i gained lots of weight, wore unattractive clothes, (no makeup, though i have always only worn makeup rarely) and rarely left the house. It was an absolute relief.

In the end, the reason I decided to lose the weight, wasn't to get male attention, it was because it sucked being so large and unfit. In the end I said screw it, and got in shape and lost the weight, because I feel happier this way, but even as i did it, I dreaded the return of male attention.

Maybe if it were possible for you to be a hot woman (not man), and experience what it is like having the animalistic males prowling around, then you would understand a perspective besides your own.

I've got no idea how I'd feel as I'm not a woman. Maybe it'd feel much better, being a woman and having animalistic males prowling after you, than being a man who is sexually undesirable and never having anyone show any interest. Then again, maybe it could feel worse, but that is very hard to imagine though.

To be honest, you experienced what it's like to be sexually undesirable, as a woman, not as a man. So it may not be the same at all.

Edited May 16, 2011 by Ross MwcFan

May 16, 2011

I view women as sex objects because they are sex objects. I view them as much more than that too, but we are all, men and women, sex objects. It's one facet of our being. Just one.

May 16, 2011

Maybe if it were possible for you to be a hot woman (not man), and experience what it is like having the animalistic males prowling around, then you would understand a perspective besides your own.

My best female friend has a more than passing resemblance for Claudia Schieffer, so I have seen it close up. It's about as likeable as drunken "party" girls throwing themselves at you, puking, then calling you "gay" for not accepting their advances.

May 16, 2011

Women want good looking Mens attention its the average or ugly guy who gawk when they get annoyed and claim the guys a creep

Me and my friend tested this years ago,i was in my tip top shape he was to put it nicely a mess,i would get giggles and blushes while the same lines would get him slaps in the face or women running away

Plus lets not act like women dont do this to men,ive heard women behind closed doors and unfiltered theyre just as vile horny and descriptive about hot men as we are women they just hide it better

Looks are the first thign we all notice,were sorry ladies if before meeting you we cant see how awesome a human being you are and approach you becasue of that

May 16, 2011

Women want good looking Mens attention its the average or ugly guy who gawk when they get annoyed and claim the guys a creep

Me and my friend tested this years ago,i was in my tip top shape he was to put it nicely a mess,i would get giggles and blushes while the same lines would get him slaps in the face or women running away

Plus lets not act like women dont do this to men,ive heard women behind closed doors and unfiltered theyre just as vile horny and descriptive about hot men as we are women they just hide it better

Looks are the first thign we all notice,were sorry ladies if before meeting you we cant see how awesome a human being you are and approach you becasue of that

Agreed. I noticed I can do no wrong. Even if I'm surrounded by women and don't say a word, I don't get called a creep.

May 16, 2011

Then why are you here?

Just because one is good looking, doesn't mean they have it easy.

May 16, 2011

How do you have it hard?

It goes back to childhood. I'm not going into details.

May 16, 2011

Because quite honestly men tend to do better with women when we treat them this way. Men tend to treat women this way because it works. It's much less emotionally draining then treating a woman with love and respect only to have her be completely unattracted to you. If women responded more positively to men that respect and cherished the women in their lives more men would do it.

It has nothing to do with how you behave. Most men are flat out, downright unattractive. If she's not attracted, you're not going to get anywhere no matter how nice/bad you act.

Also, guys tend to like girls that play hard to get and who are unattainable. Because they like the chase. Well, if I'm playing hard to get or being "unattainable" it's because I'm not interested.

The more interested you show to a guy, the more and more he pulls away, but heck. When I'm interested, I'm interested.

It's men that are the weirdos.

OP, when you figure out the answer to your question, let me know.

May 16, 2011

Women fall all over you because you are just so dashing, but you have it hard due to some childhood trauma somehow getting in the way?

Is that so unbelievable?

May 16, 2011

Kalinka, I view women as sex objects, because I've gotten deeply, emotionally involved with a few, and it's always ended badly for me(basically, I was a sex object). So now, I treat them the same to protect myself. It is hard having to look someone in the face that you know you mislead/used, but it's a lot harder to find girls that want no strings, and I will say it does get easier over time(cutting people off). I've been cutting back on dating and women in general recently, in hopes that I can stop the cycle, but I do still have a really high sex drive...

I think a lot of guys just don't want to put up with the effort it takes to maintain a relationship, and women are usually, at least somewhat guarded when it comes to having sex, so you gotta do/say, what you gotta do/say to get what you want. Women do it too, just replace the word "sex" with the word "money".

It's a cold world.

May 16, 2011

It has nothing to do with how you behave. Most men are flat out, downright unattractive. If she's not attracted, you're not going to get anywhere no matter how nice/bad you act.

Also, guys tend to like girls that play hard to get and who are unattainable. Because they like the chase. Well, if I'm playing hard to get or being "unattainable" it's because I'm not interested.

The more interested you show to a guy, the more and more he pulls away, but heck. When I'm interested, I'm interested.

It's men that are the weirdos.

OP, when you figure out the answer to your question, let me know.

Keep telling yourself that.

May 16, 2011

And flat out objectify them? I just invested my emotions into an a-hole(he's 24) who wanted to get with nearly every girl in sight and then go brag about it. And a bunch of other issues that just disgust me that I don't want to type up. It really makes me feel pessimistic about the male gender. I've also seen first handed how the guys around me treat women. I really don't want to sound so negative but it's hard not to at times.

You don't see the irony in your own comment?

If you don't like men who think that way, don't date them.

May 16, 2011

Women objectify men too, probably more. They objectify us for big penises, tall height, muscles and social status. I think personally women objectify men more than vice a versa.

May 16, 2011

The number one reason why I was turned off was because he ended up being a jerk and decided that it was okay to treat me that way. When I called him out on being rude, do you know what he called me? "uptight." I had NO IDEA he was like this because he always came off as nice, gentlemen-like, etc., So no, I don't go for jerks or bad-asses. I believe the women who go for that are unhealthy and are setting themselves up for extreme disrespect. Anyhow, we never dated or anything like that, THANK GOD. I believe I dodged a bullet. It's just sad how I went from being respected to disrespected.

May 17, 2011

Well, I'll happily give the girls on this forum a chance to vent.

Well, you may not realize that a significant contingent of "the girls" here on LS do not accept men's rights to vent here at all, and tattle posts incessantly and unduly to the moderator here for no legitimate reason other than they disagree with them. At least when we take them to task, we don't attempt to shout them down and stifle them in that cowardly way.

The number of "Why do all girls ONLY like bad boys, jerks, ***holes, etc... and not good guys?" posts is ridiculous. Everytime I see a new one I want to write some long winded response saying the guys writing these posts are idiots, and to give their heads a shake and just see the light.

Actually, those threads are a tiny percentage here, they are just noticed more when posted.

But even if so for the sake of argument, there's a big difference in that most of the men who make those kinds of threads here readily acknowledge that they are partially or mostly to blame for their issues with the opposite sex. Good luck finding that sentiment among many women here.

The subtextual elephant in the room with these "objectifying women" threads, and there have been quite a few of them over the last couple of years, is that women don't mind being objectified by the -right- men one little bit. The -right man- is a -real man- when he objectifies, any others who dare to do it are beneath reproach, creeps, etc. Women tailor their physical appearance via multiple levels of subterfuge and display of flesh for the very purpose of INCITING objectification from the men whom they want it from, but when it comes from the wrong direction, suddenly it's a gender crime.

May 17, 2011

The day men stop seeing women as sex objects is the day that humanity is on the verge of extinction.

Even today a lot of males in developed countries are already more interested in playing videogames and watching porn than having real sex.

Male sexual desire creates civilizations as Freud said. Desire to gain and maintain sexual access is what motivates men around the world to take up painstaking bone breaking tedious jobs day after day because otherwise they would rather just spend their lives indulging in their personal hobbies.

Edited May 17, 2011 by musemaj11

May 17, 2011

And flat out objectify them? I just invested my emotions into an a-hole(he's 24) who wanted to get with nearly every girl in sight and then go brag about it. And a bunch of other issues that just disgust me that I don't want to type up. It really makes me feel pessimistic about the male gender. I've also seen first handed how the guys around me treat women. I really don't want to sound so negative but it's hard not to at times.

Nobody can objectify you without your consent.

Stop doing the things that allow men to treat you thus.

May 17, 2011

But do you know what the root of objectifying comes from? influences, etc?

Objectifying comes from a man's personality. People with personality disorders and other emotional/psychiatric problems are not capable of empathy/viewing others as persons with feelings. Because the guys are not capable of building LTRs they are very available for dating.

But, those guys who are capable of emotional attachment are all taken by age 40. They are not easily available for dating because they get emotionally attached easily and they get involved in LTRs.

As for influences, personality and emotional intelligence are genetic. It is impossible to change. Therefore, there is no use to fall for a guy with PD because he can not feel the same way no matter what.

May 17, 2011

What's wrong with only wanting sexually related things from a woman? Lmao. :/

Unless I'm emotionally involved with the woman and I care for her deeply, chances are I'm just going to want ass and that's that. Dun dada. Wipe my hands clean and move on with life after the act is over with.

Can't speak for all men on the face of this lovely Earth but with types like me, you (as a lovely woman) have a number of factors working against your chances of a meaningful relationship. Those things include:

1. The level of attractiveness the man possesses

2. The amount of success he has with women

3. How easily he can get a woman

4. The amount of priorities on his plate

5. His packed schedule

Nothing wrong with that, some people at a certain point in their life, can't really commit to anyone. But nature still calls!

Women have to earn their relationship just as Men have to earn their sex. It's a two way street. So unless he considers you a one in a million kind of woman, chances are, he just wants to wax that ass a couple times and that's about it.

Not that it's important to this thread but hell, women even have to earn sex from me nowadays. Being hot just doesn't cut it anymore Ms. Brown Eyes. Sorry. :/

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Why do men view women as sex objects?

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