PratyekaYana Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 There's nothing quite so socially enlightening as conversations with friends of the opposite sex. Just yesterday, in fact, I had a portion of my dating idealism crushed and torn asunder by the labyrinth that is the female mind . According to two of my female friends, the principles of equality that I believe should inform one's romantic pursuits are undesirable in any potential mate that they would consider. My proposal of men treating their significant others as equals in the truest sense (which would likely result in a 50-50 distribution in all matters relating to courtship) was shot down faster than a speeding bullet. Why? Why is the prospect of equality in dating "responsibilities" (providing transportation, picking up the tab for the meal/movie/etc., most of you have been at LS long enough to deduce the rest) so frowned upon? Is it a clinging to traditional gender roles, to other social norms (religion perhaps), an entitlement complex, or some other factor?
BiscuitXOXO Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 :lmao::lmao: seems like we both had interesting convo's yesterday. My thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t278026/ OT: ...I'm not sure. Just culturally, as human beings, men are seen by women as "providers" and someone who can "take care" of us. Even if such care is not necessarily needed by an economically independent woman, I don't think our society has changed that much. And besides, a man paying for the courting is seen as a sign of interest. A woman doing the same wouldn't be as appreciated (in general). Therefore...what's the point?
Je me souviens Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 I'm from Canada, so it's likely different here. Not different in all ways, but there are differences. Some are clinging onto the traditional gender roles as they are quickly going away(at least in the states).
Mrlonelyone Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 It's a matter of the traditional gender roles of western european and near eastern society. Just for a change consider how it was done by the various nations of Algonquian Indians (Powhatan, Wapanoag, Potawatomi, Montana Blackfeet etc), and most of west Africa. In their societies women controlled buisness inside the house and between the families. Marriages were arranged and partners chosen by women. One inherited wealth and status by way of who their mother was. Women owned all the real property OR property in marriage was shared 50/50. Women had a voice in government, related to their status as being the parent who passes on social standing. (i.e. Pocahontas would never have become "Queen" (Weroansqua) of the Powhatan because of who her mother was.) I can go on. There is nothing fundamentally or biologically true about the gender norms we have been raised with in western and European influenced society. It all comes down to this: People are lazy and like to avoid responsibility. The woman has less responsibility in the mating game in western society. She just makes herself as pretty as possible and lets the flys buzz into her honey trap. No proactive effort is expected no direct rejection has to be suffered. Why would they want to change to a system where they can hear no and be rejected directly with all it entails?
denise_xo Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 It's a matter of the traditional gender roles of western european and near eastern society. Things have moved on in great parts of Europe, though. I many parts of northern and western Europe you don't find the same expectations to men in the dating process as Americans describe on this site (and which I've experienced in the US). I really dislike it when men pick up the bill because they are men. It makes me feel very uncomfortable and it just doesn't make any sense to me. So personally I prefer the 50-50 arrangement outlined in the OP.
BiscuitXOXO Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 ^^^ but just because there is no biological bias for gender norms doesn't mean they don't exist in society today. I bet if a man had wanted to own his property in those cultures, he would have been ostracized and maybe been unable to find a mate. And if he had been able to find a woman who would deal with him, their family unit would have been looked down upon and had low status...which isn't fun. lol this is so off topic now
denise_xo Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 (edited) ^^^ but just because there is no biological bias for gender norms doesn't mean they don't exist in society today. They exist in all societies and they always will, but we can have a conscious relationship to them and challenge them where necessary. I for one am extremely grateful that I now live in a society where I have voting rights, access to education and access to the work force on an equal footing with men. My grandmother didn't, and the reason I do is that someone challenged established gender norms and changed them in the process. So there is in principle no reason why the issues raised in the OP can't be changed, either. Edited May 14, 2011 by denise_xo
Cee Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 My boyfriend and I had a tender moment last night. He is a rising star in his profession and makes twice more than what I make. I confessed that I feared he'd dump me for a woman who made more money. He then gave me a big hug. It's nice to confess that societal obsession with the bottom line makes me feel insecure sometimes. I know men feel this pressure worse, but some of us women feel it too.
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