Basileus Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 (edited) Hi all! This is my first message here and despite english not being my mother language I hope I can express myself correctly. I wanted to ask this community for advice because I am clueless in regards to a girl (aren't we all?) So... I met this girl at the campus, she is graduating in Law this next month and so am I. I've never been interested in her (from our conversations in the past I always thought of her as the female equivalent of Amon Göth) but for the last month the more we talk, the more we got to know each other and I've seen some traits of her personality that I like (she's very intelligent, good mannered, creative... etc. Yeah, and hot ) The past week I asked her to come with me to a photography exposition and she happily obliged. I thought it was a good idea for a first date... the conversation flew smoothly, we laughed and it was kept short, a bit more than an hour. And boy did she prepared herself for the date, she looked amazing! I gave her a day to "think about it" and after that I chatted and flirted a bit with her through facebook. Everything seemed to go nice and easy so yesterday I sent her an SMS (I know it's better to call but I had a busy afternoon) asking her if she wanted to go to the movies to see "The lincoln lawyer" (I'm not into legal films and even less into "movie dates" but she really enjoys the legal practice she's doing at the moment so I gave it a try) She replied that she already had plans... that may be true but, truth be told, I felt rejected. I don't want to invest in the girl if it's going nowhere but to be honest I think the girl can be a keeper. So I thought of three possible courses of action: 1. Acting as if nothing happened, tell her that we could see the film any given day and see how she replies to that (either saying no or doging the question) 2. Asking her next week to have a beer with me (e.g. thursday evening) If she doesn't want to come along I'll have to move on. 3. Deleting her number right away. That's the situation right now people. I hope that you can give me some advice because I see my chances going down. Thanks for reading so far. Kind regards. Edited May 14, 2011 by Basileus
abbeylouwho Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 You asked her if she wanted to go to a movie that same day? She probably just had plans. Ask her to go out with a few days prep time.
Author Basileus Posted May 14, 2011 Author Posted May 14, 2011 Thanks for the advice abbeylouwho. I always plan ahead but girls seem to love that kind of spontaneous guys... so I waited 'till the same day to ask her out. Cheers.
lovingADove Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 You found a keeper, and you want to quit the first time she says NO to your ... hasty SMS Invitation? I hate to say it, but you need to be a little more thick skin ... She is studying to be a lawyer ... sometimes, to avoid getting "rejected", learn to be subtle about asking her out ... get a feel first ... before asking ... otherwise, you might end up with plenty of rejections ...
orion1010 Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 you should try again and give her more notice. she sounds like a nice, well rounded person with a good head on her shoulders and you sound the same. If she rejects a second time without offering a different day, then i would back off a little bit. Good luck! I hope it works out for you
chuckles11 Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 sometimes, to avoid getting "rejected", learn to be subtle about asking her out ... get a feel first ... before asking ... otherwise, you might end up with plenty of rejections ... It's too hard to get a feel for interest. Many times a guy will think the woman's interested when she really isn't. The key is just to ask out enough women that you stop taking rejections personally.
orion1010 Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 The key is just to ask out enough women that you stop taking rejections personally. Easier said than done! I know I can't just ask out so many guys until I'm not afraid of rejection. If only rejection didn't exist. There would be a lot more relationships and less feelings hurt.
Author Basileus Posted May 15, 2011 Author Posted May 15, 2011 Thanks everybody for your advice. Keep it coming! I know I rushed things a bit with the SMS invitation... I need to know better! I am not afraid of rejection. Sure, it stings a bit but at this stage it's no big deal. What I am afraid of are the usual excuses that some people make up to "avoid" hurting the other part when they are not interested. For me they're a waste of time and, to be honest, I can't pick a hint to save my life so it may take a while untill I figue out that someone does not have any interest in me. Cheers
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