kro88 Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 I posted here the other day about my breakup situation and I was advised (and agreed) that even if he called me up now it probably wasn't a good idea to get back together anyway. But I just can't stop thinking about him. I've never felt like this after a breakup before, I've been upset before but things have always ended kind of amicably and I've seen the logic. I just really hurts that he was talking about a future with me, even discussing this with one of my family members literally days before we broke up and he seemed genuinely really happy with me. Then he goes away for the weekend and comes back a totally different person. He was still upset about the breakup and there were a few tears etc but he seemed dead set on the idea and didn't want to discuss it. He wanted to stay friends but I told him I couldn't do that, maybe in the future but not right away and that I was deleting his number and blocking him on facebook until I'd gotton over things. It's been 3 weeks since we broke up, 2 weeks since he moved out and 2 weeks since I've heard anything from him. I honestly thought I would have heard something from him by now and it hurts so much that I loved someone so much and we clearly weren't on the same page at all. I don't know if I want to get back together with him but I feel like I NEED some closure and need to know what the hell happened. If he cheated on me or met someone else it would hurt but I'd be able to move on and stop hoping. It feels like such unexpected massive rejection. I wasn't suffocating him, wasn't clingy, we had loads of fun together, great chemistry and passion, he initiated any marriage/future conversations. I just don't get it... I'm not going to contact him because I want him to WANT to speak to me so it would be pointless to contact him and just make me feel worse. He's been texting one of my male friends that he barely spoke to when we were together and telling him how gutted he is and that he misses me...I don't know if he's doing this indirectly to get to me? Or just wanting sympathy I don't know....I can't stop thinking about how he's moved into this new apartment and he's probably sleeping with other people and it's trying me crazy! It feels like such a huge loss and I hate myself for being so soppy and pathetic because I'm not usually like this. The prospect for starting dating again for me seems a million miles away as I know I'd be comparing everyone to him. I suppose my question is with the no contact thing...is it still early days? It's been 2 weeks since I've spoken to him. I would have thought I'd have heard from him again...I'm wondering if he still might contact me or if it's not looking likely. I don't know what I want but I feel like I need to talk it out and know what happened.
rayne05us Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Right now you have a big void so it's understandable that you're looking to fill it. But regardless of what he says, you say to each other etc...it's not going to help. It may even make it worse. You have to count on yourself to pull you out of this. It's going to take time and work to help you deal with this....but it will get better. Right now, fill that void with positive things; spending time with friends and family, doing things you want to do, treating yourself etc... and treating yourself good!! That doesn't mean it's going to fix everything because it wont; you will still think about everything and go through a cycle of emotions...but this will show you how strong you are and that you can over come this!! Best of luck to you!!
Delilah5 Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 I posted here the other day about my breakup situation and I was advised (and agreed) that even if he called me up now it probably wasn't a good idea to get back together anyway. But I just can't stop thinking about him. I've never felt like this after a breakup before, I've been upset before but things have always ended kind of amicably and I've seen the logic. I just really hurts that he was talking about a future with me, even discussing this with one of my family members literally days before we broke up and he seemed genuinely really happy with me. Then he goes away for the weekend and comes back a totally different person. He was still upset about the breakup and there were a few tears etc but he seemed dead set on the idea and didn't want to discuss it. He wanted to stay friends but I told him I couldn't do that, maybe in the future but not right away and that I was deleting his number and blocking him on facebook until I'd gotton over things. It's been 3 weeks since we broke up, 2 weeks since he moved out and 2 weeks since I've heard anything from him. I honestly thought I would have heard something from him by now and it hurts so much that I loved someone so much and we clearly weren't on the same page at all. I don't know if I want to get back together with him but I feel like I NEED some closure and need to know what the hell happened. If he cheated on me or met someone else it would hurt but I'd be able to move on and stop hoping. It feels like such unexpected massive rejection. I wasn't suffocating him, wasn't clingy, we had loads of fun together, great chemistry and passion, he initiated any marriage/future conversations. I just don't get it... I'm not going to contact him because I want him to WANT to speak to me so it would be pointless to contact him and just make me feel worse. He's been texting one of my male friends that he barely spoke to when we were together and telling him how gutted he is and that he misses me...I don't know if he's doing this indirectly to get to me? Or just wanting sympathy I don't know....I can't stop thinking about how he's moved into this new apartment and he's probably sleeping with other people and it's trying me crazy! It feels like such a huge loss and I hate myself for being so soppy and pathetic because I'm not usually like this. The prospect for starting dating again for me seems a million miles away as I know I'd be comparing everyone to him. I suppose my question is with the no contact thing...is it still early days? It's been 2 weeks since I've spoken to him. I would have thought I'd have heard from him again...I'm wondering if he still might contact me or if it's not looking likely. I don't know what I want but I feel like I need to talk it out and know what happened. You have to move on. It's going to take time to go through withdrawal from your ex just like a drug addiction. And like the others have told you, you have to concentrate on you now and pull yourself up out of the pain and fly above it. There's no controlling how he feels or what he wants. And you can't force someone to want to be with you, even if you that's what you want. Move on, darlin' and don't let him rob you of your precious time. You'll eventually get over it, even though right now it doesn't seem like it. The best to you and I wish you a speedy recovery from this awful pain.
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