MizzBlue72 Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Well - we made the decision after both of our divorces were final (about 8 months after) to be in a committed relationship. It's going well. I mean - we love each other, and we both have our own baggage and not marriage bells are in our future (that I am hoping to hear!) so I am thinking everything is good. Sometimes it does work out
thissecretgirl Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 hope everything works out well for everyone involved. Good luck
TigerCub Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Well - we made the decision after both of our divorces were final (about 8 months after) to be in a committed relationship. It's going well. I mean - we love each other, and we both have our own baggage and not marriage bells are in our future (that I am hoping to hear!) so I am thinking everything is good. Sometimes it does work out I'm very happy for you I don't know your back story, but I do love to hear of when people actually make clean breaks with their unhappy marriages and find happiness together. All the best
donnamaybe Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 I'm very happy for you I don't know your back story, but I do love to hear of when people actually make clean breaks with their unhappy marriages and find happiness together. All the best I agree with this. No lying and sneaking. Others are free to find their happiness as well, and there isn't only one person getting everything they want. Good luck on your bright new future!
Cabin Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 I think it works out more often than some would like to think... I agree. Just this week I was in two separate conversations where I learned of married couples whose R started as A. One friend at work was telling me about her sister who married another police officer in her department, and then she murmured "technically he was married, of course..." and then another man I work with was talking about his crazy ex-wife... I asked when he met his current wife, and he sort of squirted the issue saying "well we've always been close, we go to church together, and it just sort of happened" (but he was married to her within one year of leaving his W). That brings my total knowledge of couples-who-started-as-affairs to 10. And just imagine how many I just don't know about. Congrats on your new legitimate relationship.
jwi71 Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Hello again MB72, I remember you - but I do admit to having to go back and refresh myself on your story a bit. It was quite the rocky ride for you....a real roller coaster of together, then break-up and repeat. How did you two manage to get past all of your hurdles...age difference, your kids, your friends/families etc.... Oh...and congratulations.
MorningCoffee Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 MB72, Sounds like you have weathered a long difficult time to get where you are now. Skimming through your previous threads makes wonder how your past year has gone. Did you date? Gradually grow into a more normal R than the secret A that preceded it? How about the prior rift with your family? How's that going? And your child? Happy for you that this seems to be working out, just curious what the path has been from this more unsettled times to now . . . Best wishes for you and your guy.
LilyBart Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Well - we made the decision after both of our divorces were final (about 8 months after) to be in a committed relationship. It's going well. I mean - we love each other, and we both have our own baggage and not marriage bells are in our future (that I am hoping to hear!) so I am thinking everything is good. Sometimes it does work out WONDERFUL! Congratulations!!!! Thank you so much for coming back and sharing this. This way it PROVES to all those naysayers that sometimes, it does work out. *big grin*
LilyBart Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Hello again MB72, I remember you - but I do admit to having to go back and refresh myself on your story a bit. It was quite the rocky ride for you....a real roller coaster of together, then break-up and repeat. How did you two manage to get past all of your hurdles...age difference, your kids, your friends/families etc.... Oh...and congratulations. Thanks for pointing this out to us - See, THIS is why you shouldn't automatically tell people "You need to go NC" "M'd people never leave" "You're just a side piece". It goes to prove that most A/R are rocky, it is a roller coaster.....and yet those who belong together end up together. Love prevails. Fighting through all the "rocks and rollercoasters" ultimately makes the couple stronger in the end - a conviction that YES, they really DO belong together. *sigh* I love happy endings.
crazy love Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Mizz Blue...thank you for posting this. I did take a moment to read some of your story and I can relate to so much of it. You havs been honest and forth coming with your emotions on your crazy roller coaster ride and I personally appreciate you posts. AND I loooove your tag line as well..in fact I might borrow it for myself in an email or two. Marlyn..yet another beautiful miss understood loving woman I wish you the best in your future with your relationship, please keep us posted
Silly_Girl Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Thanks for pointing this out to us - See, THIS is why you shouldn't automatically tell people "You need to go NC" "M'd people never leave" "You're just a side piece". It goes to prove that most A/R are rocky, it is a roller coaster.....and yet those who belong together end up together. Love prevails. Fighting through all the "rocks and rollercoasters" ultimately makes the couple stronger in the end - a conviction that YES, they really DO belong together. I'll co-sign that if you don't mind. You are spot on!! Congrats OP. I hope everyone affected is/soon will be much happier
LilyBart Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Oh and let me point this out: In MizzBlue's case it DID happily work out but NO, it did NOT happen "overnight". I'm going to assume (from her join date) that this has been "in the works" for about 3 years. Not surprisingly, it seems like a lot of the situations I've heard about regarding A/R and their respective partners ending up together....THREE YEARS seem to be the average. Yes folks, for those relationships that worked out - it seems like the struggle, on average, was about three years. I guess it takes that long for the couple to sort themselves out (and for the MP to figure things out, lay the groundwork for a D and then to make the move). So how 'bout them apples, huh? To all the Debbie Downers out there yapping about how "If the MM loves you so much he'll move mountains RIGHT AWAY or you should IMMEDIATELY go NC", pipe down because you've obviously have never gone through it. If the love is strong and true and meant to be, it will survive and flourish.
Mimolicious Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Lily, why can you just keep within subject? If you haven't noticed, you spoiled the subject with your negativity. MB72- Good for you babygirl! Keep that going and you never know, wedding line-up dance may be next. Congrats and I wish you both much happiness!
LilyBart Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Lily, why can you just keep within subject? If you haven't noticed,you spoiled the subject with your negativity. MB72- Good for you babygirl! Keep that going and you never know, wedding line-up dance may be next. Congrats and I wish you both much happiness! Why thank you for sharing your OPINION about my so-called "negativity". I too, was sharing my OPINION on how wonderful this is for MizzBlue! And considering this is a PUBLIC FORUM, I think I have the right to point out: Sometimes, the A relationship resolving itself is not an "overnight miracle". Is that a negative statement? I don't think so. It just goes to prove that if two people are truly meant to be together, they will end up together. No matter what struggles the A-couple may have to go through. I honestly believe true love will prevail.
Mimolicious Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Why thank you for sharing your OPINION about my so-called "negativity". I too, was sharing my OPINION on how wonderful this is for MizzBlue! And considering this is a PUBLIC FORUM, I think I have the right to point out: Sometimes, the A relationship resolving itself is not an "overnight miracle". Is that a negative statement? I don't think so. It just goes to prove that if two people are truly meant to be together, they will end up together. No matter what struggles the A-couple may have to go through. I honestly believe true love will prevail. I wasn't referring to the "overnight" comment either. Ok good for you to believe in that. Some of us, share the same principle but why add all the other stuff to it, like: WONDERFUL! Congratulations!!!! (going really coolio!) Thank you so much for coming back and sharing this. This way it PROVES to all those naysayers *PAUSE* that sometimes, it does work out. *big grin* and then you double dipped it... So how 'bout them apples, huh? To all the Debbie Downers out there yapping about how "If the MM loves you so much he'll move mountains RIGHT AWAY or you should IMMEDIATELY go NC", pipe down because you've obviously have never gone through it. Like really? really? That takes shine away from the real sentiment... Where is the love and light there?
donnamaybe Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 and then you double dipped it... Like really? really? That takes shine away from the real sentiment... Where is the love and light there? Yup. It would be the same as if someone were to come to a thread where an OW/OM was talking about just discovering having been lied to by an MM/MW and people coming on and saying, "See! I told you so!" which would ALSO be negative.
LilyBart Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Like really? really? Yes, really. Explain to me how it's a NEGATIVE to point out that true love prevails? How it's a NEGATIVE to remind OW who might be in the same situation as MizzBlue - that sometimes, no matter what others may say especially on an anonymous internet forum - that IT'S WORTH IT. How it's a NEGATIVE for OW to realize that another woman had walked in their shoes, had travelled on the whole roller coaster ride, had gone through the ups and downs - and had a happy ending? And to realize, hey, this wasn't something that happened really quickly but took some time? I think it's quite POSITIVE actually, to hear stories like this. Because from what I've seen/heard, this is more common than not.
Silly_Girl Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Yup. It would be the same as if someone were to come to a thread where an OW/OM was talking about just discovering having been lied to by an MM/MW and people coming on and saying, "See! I told you so!" which would ALSO be negative. Quite often what you've described is exactly what happens, sadly.
donnamaybe Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Quite often what you've described is exactly what happens, sadly. And those people who do that would be anal dwelling butt monkeys. (to borrow a phrase from Bruce Almighty... )
jsb58 Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Oh lilybart, the rainbows are plentiful today. So beautiful are the pretty colors. So lilybart how long has your boyfriend been married to another woman? How long have you been with a boyfriend who remains married to another woman?Your question didn't get answered.
greengoddess Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 And those people who do that would be anal dwelling butt monkeys. (to borrow a phrase from Bruce Almighty... ) :laugh:
LilyBart Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Your question didn't get answered. Wouldn't you love to know? Truth is, it doesn't matter because I am EXACTLY where I want to be. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be with him.
thissecretgirl Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 That takes shine away from the real sentiment... Where is the love and light there? Come on lol, it happens all the time on here and not very subtley either I think you made a vaild point LilyBart. You seem really happy too
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