brooke b Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 i dont understand i should have been over him by now, sometimes i feel happy and i feel fine, but then something reminds me of him and im right back where i started. The reason why we broke up was because he was pressureing me into sex, and i said no seeing as im still to young. But the thing is he was with his friends at the time and the next day he apologized and said he couldnt forgive himself. A week later he called me and said he wanted to talk, so he came over. After an hour of saying how sorry he was and begging for me back. i finally took him back and we started to cuddle. But then ten minutes later he starts saying how he cant be with me because im a distraction to his hockey and his school work. I get it he was really stressed because his team lost in the state championships and his grades where slipping. but i dont get how he could say it was because of me. About a month after the breakup we saw each other but he completely ignored me even after he said he wanted to be friends. I dont get it we were perfect for each other and i know we shouldnt be apart from each other. I need to know what he is thinking and what i should do. ive tried getting over him but i cant bring myself to get over him. i feel pathetic but i cant get over someone when i feel like we should still be together. i really need some advice, tomorrow would of been our anniversary
AmericanHoney Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 I understand! I am not in your shoes but it hurts when you try to get over someone and cannot stop thinking about them. It takes time for wounds to heal trust me! Talk to your friends or grab a thing of ice cream and watch a funny movie and try not to think about him. Remember it his loss;)
SincereOnlineGuy Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 This thread is so sweet. And... it hurts so much because you so boldly allowed yourself to be "invested" in another person (quite deeply, and for what is one of the first times ever). Unlike others you love (family, etc.)... you sort of got to 'choose' this guy, of your own free will. Every bit of making him matter... was your own choice... and it was the right way to evolve as the adult you are becoming. It hurts so much precisely because you did such a good job of 'applying yourself' to the relationship. Some people at your age aren't exactly capable of such strong feelings for another... (often because somebody long ago betrayed their trust)... but you ARE able to make yourself that vulnerable to a relationship and to a partner. That ability is what makes the highest highs in life, and it makes the lowest lows. Because this is one of the first experiences you've had in that area, that's why it hurts so much. Another great thing about you is that you were firm in your understanding that you are not ready for sex. You stood your ground wonderfully in the way that not every female your age is capable of doing. The guys throughout your future will have far more admiration for your doing just THAT, than you will understand anytime soon. Figure out what is right for YOU... and then pursue it with confidence. I agree that it wasn't, and couldn't have been "because of you" that his grades were slipping and that he may not have had enough focus at hockey. BUT you have to expect that he was going through many of the same feelings that you were, and that HE was in charge of how much of himSELF he devoted to your relationship. So it is potentially true that the newfound emotional pressures HE put upon HIMSELF were affecting his school life, but it was NOT "you" who caused that... it was him. Anyway, it really sounds like you are right where a young woman wants to be in terms of being able to assess herSELF objectively, and being able to give herself CREDIT for personal growth and strength. It always hurts the most soon after a break-up, and with time things get slowly better... and the best remedy is to be caused/inspired to focus on another prospect from somewhere else in your world. Just start giving yourself credit, and your outlook will show considerable progress.
rayne05us Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 I'm really sorry I understand you're hurting. Remember, he was pressuring you into sex, which is very very wrong. That's major dissrespect and something you should feel 100% comfortable with before you do it. It sounds like her didn't appreciate you enough and he may have been blaming you for his stress a tad. You take some time for yourself and try to heal from this. And trust me, you WILL find someone that does show you the respect you deserve and is going to cherish you!! Best of Luck!!
Delilah5 Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 i dont understand i should have been over him by now, sometimes i feel happy and i feel fine, but then something reminds me of him and im right back where i started. The reason why we broke up was because he was pressureing me into sex, and i said no seeing as im still to young. But the thing is he was with his friends at the time and the next day he apologized and said he couldnt forgive himself. A week later he called me and said he wanted to talk, so he came over. After an hour of saying how sorry he was and begging for me back. i finally took him back and we started to cuddle. But then ten minutes later he starts saying how he cant be with me because im a distraction to his hockey and his school work. I get it he was really stressed because his team lost in the state championships and his grades where slipping. but i dont get how he could say it was because of me. About a month after the breakup we saw each other but he completely ignored me even after he said he wanted to be friends. I dont get it we were perfect for each other and i know we shouldnt be apart from each other. I need to know what he is thinking and what i should do. ive tried getting over him but i cant bring myself to get over him. i feel pathetic but i cant get over someone when i feel like we should still be together. i really need some advice, tomorrow would of been our anniversary This isn't about him. It's about you. Nothing is perfect in this world. I'm not sure how old you are, but you have to start focusing on you and put this relationship behind you. Believe me he's not thinking about you, he's only aware of how he feels. There is no "together" any more and it doesn't matter what you think there should have been. Or how "perfect" you were together. Obviously, that's not how it is. Move on, babe. Find another man or take up an intense hobby that will take your mind off of it. Quit dwelling on impossible dreams and pull yourself into the reality of the situation. Over is over and done is done. Believe me, I just got dumped by someone I really cared about. It wasn't happening for him and I knew it never would. You should have absolutely NO contact with your ex. None, nada, zilch. That way your scabbed over wounds won't get torn off and fresh pain will pour out. Look forward to the future and don't let him hurt you any more and don't let you hurt you any more. Get over it. I'm not saying this to be mean, because I really feel for you. Love hurts when it's over. But it is OVER.
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