muzik_lvr Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Was anyone here in an interracial relationship? If so, how do you think it impacted the relationship/breakup? I am black and my ex-gf is white. We discussed this early on and she said she was totally fine with it. Her parents and family were also (seemingly) okay with it. When she broke up with me, I asked her if race had anything to do with it and she said no. I am beginning to question now if it did in fact have something to do with it. Any thoughts on the dynamic of interracial relationships?
Desensitized Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Was anyone here in an interracial relationship? If so, how do you think it impacted the relationship/breakup? I am black and my ex-gf is white. We discussed this early on and she said she was totally fine with it. Her parents and family were also (seemingly) okay with it. When she broke up with me, I asked her if race had anything to do with it and she said no. I am beginning to question now if it did in fact have something to do with it. Any thoughts on the dynamic of interracial relationships? Honestly, I don't think race has anything to do with it. I am Hispanic and my ex-fiancee was white. Her parents treated me like a part of their family and my family treated her like a part of our family - I think you're being paranoid. If she said it has nothing to do with you being black, then you should believe her (unless her actions prove otherwise).
rayne05us Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Welll what did she say was the reason for the breakup?
Author muzik_lvr Posted May 14, 2011 Author Posted May 14, 2011 Honestly, I don't think race has anything to do with it. I am Hispanic and my ex-fiancee was white. Her parents treated me like a part of their family and my family treated her like a part of our family - I think you're being paranoid. If she said it has nothing to do with you being black, then you should believe her (unless her actions prove otherwise). Good insight. I didn't mean to come off as paranoid. I was simply trying to generate discussion on the topic and hear other people's experience of being in an interracial relationship. At this point (2.5 months NC) I am not all that concerned about trying to reconcile the relationship and trying to figure out if that was a factor. Just something I was thinking through.
Author muzik_lvr Posted May 14, 2011 Author Posted May 14, 2011 Welll what did she say was the reason for the breakup? She really didn't give a clear reason, which is why I was thinking through that being a factor. The main things she was saying was that she needed space and that she felt she needed to grow in certain areas, but she was pretty even in saying those things.
Feelin Frisky Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 I was. It lasted for 5 years and we lived together for 4. It was tough. I don't think it has to be tough automatically--it depends on a lot of other things. I for instance was the first of a family of 8 children and had 7 younger siblings. My mother was the first of her family and she had 6 younger siblings. And guess what? For quite some time we ALL LIVED IN THE SAME HOUSE. (Not me and my girl, before that). But the bottom line was that there were so many young and old eyeballs on me and I didn't think about any of that when I got into it. I just worked my butt off and started loving someone in the office and bam. I didn't break up with her though. Other things weighed. She always tried to make like race shouldn't matter but there were sensitivities there too. Ultimately we parted well. I've seen other black females since but none that seriously. I don't have a preference though. It's not true that once you have black you never go back. But for all the time I spent with that lover, some new black feels like coming home. I'm not prepared to raise inter-racial children--I would totally love to have some mixed race daughters but I want my son to look just like senior and can't control that. I don't think that's a "racism" thing--it's just nature. I want to replicate myself. But anyway, I'm too old to start having kids now. Peace.
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