newoman Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 How do I fill the time I'm alone and thinking of OM? The first thing to come to my head is come here and read and post. I'm also good at writing things down, so I guess I could write out the crap and let it go. Any other ideas???
ladydesigner Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 The thing that helped me was keeping busy and redirecting my thoughts. Only allow a certain amount of time to think about him and push it out. Also keep a list of all the negative things about your OM and keep focusing on those. Start a positive list about your H.
Author newoman Posted May 14, 2011 Author Posted May 14, 2011 Thanks, Lady! I'm so full of emotion right now! I'm so thankful for your help! <3
Silly_Girl Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 How do I fill the time I'm alone and thinking of OM? The first thing to come to my head is come here and read and post. I'm also good at writing things down, so I guess I could write out the crap and let it go. Any other ideas??? Exercise Jigsaw puzzles/word games, things that switch your mind off Thinking of and planning small things you can do that will have a positive effect on your R with your H Write poems Learn to paint/sew/knit Write a diary as your thoughts unfold and if you have any mini-revelations, it could prove useful in future Contact friends you don't see enough, especially long-established friends who knew you prior to the A It's very hard to train your mind but it can be done. In a similar position my counsellor told me to give myself 'permission' to have those thoughts at a certain time of day (pick a slot that suits you) and the rest of the time to actively push them away and refuse to engage in a train of thought, until it was 'time'. I thought it was clap-trap but it became quite easy in the end
Author newoman Posted May 14, 2011 Author Posted May 14, 2011 Thanks so much! Last night was hard. Glad it's over. I'm hoping with the distractions of daily life, the day will be easier.
love4me2c Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 I have found reading to be very therapeutic and also helpful. Read up on affairs, read up on breaking up, anything that will help you through this. It will also calm your mind. Another thing that is helpful is to make an affirmation. An example might be - "I'm not in love with this other man. I hardly know him after all of these years. I'm in love with a fantasy I've developed in my head. The fantasy is not real." Everytime you think of something with this other man, catch yourself and tell yourself your affirmation. You can get over this. Good luck!
Author newoman Posted May 14, 2011 Author Posted May 14, 2011 LOVE the affirmation, Love4me! Thanks so much! I have a few affirmations I keep in my phone, but not as specific. I find repeating them is very helpful.
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