missyhum1 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Please, I need help for the sake of my mental state, here’s the story I knew him for years, before we got together we were mutual friends for about 5years. Later my mother passed away when I was 21 year old, that was a traumatic time in my life. At that time I graduated from college with my A.A. and had a good job. I was still living with my father and then 4 months after her passing, my ex and I got together. At first we had so much fun and were glued to one another 24/7. He was my closure and my comfort during that hard time with me losing my mother. However he had issues himself, he had 2 felonies and had gotten out a bad relationship. Prior to us getting together he was with his GF of many years; however she left him for another and got engaged while he was in jail. When he came home she was pregnant but was honest with him saying she did not know if he was the father or the other guy. Moving forward, we fell in love our first 3mos, and at the same time is ex GF gave birth and it was determine that he was the father. This is when the drama starts: she started to harass me and even though I did the right thing and told him to go with his family and just forgive her and try to work things out with her now that you know this is your child, he still said no that he wanted to be with me. After being with him for 5 months, he got arrested again another felony, and served 8mos in which I waited for him, after he came home we got engaged and everything was cool. But then he started to cheating on me with his baby momma. Then he left me for her because he got tired of me trying to change him and telling him what to do, like getting a job, don’t sell drugs, and to go to parole, boy that **** hurted so much during that time, because I was 2mos pregnant. She even attack me when I was 3mos pregnant. After, stupid me got back with him a month later then soon after he got locked up again. I did my whole pregnancy by myself and birth, he came home 3 days after our son was born. Then here I go trying to tell him to go to school or get a job but he wants to be a freaking rapper. After the constant arguing everyday about him doing the right thing he left me for 5 days and I did not know where he had gone. My son was only 2 week old and I had a c-section, come to find out he was with his ex that whole time. From febuarany 2011 to March 2011 he musta cheated on me like 5 times with this girl. It gets worst, his ex started to write me on facebook harassing me, calling my house block. I was really going through it. Then one time when he did not come home again, and the next day, I went to drop my son to him at his friends house in which he did not want to watch him at that time, but I was so tired and had to do some running around so I proceeded to leave him with his son, that’s when he attack me, beating me up real bad, so I called the cops, but they did not catch him, so he been staying at his ex’s house hiding for a week until I told the police his whereabouts and they caught him. His ex was so mad that she called ACS on me with false allegations. I told him and he was in deined saying she would never do that to his child. Now he in jail and when he first went to jail for the DV, he kept calling me saying I hurt him by putting him in jail but he still loves me, calling me his baby and just f###king with my head. I than said no more, and stop all contact from him, he had called me over 50 times from getting locked up to now. Now he is engaged with his ex, and she got his whole family against me and my son, and now she on FB bashing me, telling all my business. Now his family loves her and hate me. Which makes me feel so outcast. I been healing and doing good, the NC rule really works because now I can see and make better decisions. However now his family is contacting me about his things in which he knows I don’t have. He bout to come home, we live to close together. I feel the whole community is against me because I put him in jail. I’m so hurt because I did everything for this guy, I loved him unconditionally, I can’t even enjoy me graduating in 3 weeks for my B.A, I need uplifting advise not to leave him cause I already did that, put to keep moving strong. Please help me anybody!!! They all laughing at me, I know I’m a fool, and should had left long ago but I was just hoping things will get better.
stopthemadness Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 (edited) Wow!! Where to start? This guy sounds like a thug. And with a thug , hoodlum, gangster mentality hes not going to get anywhere in his life. I wont say how I know this type of guy? But lets just say that I do. Run dont walk to the nearest exit. You DONT need him in your and your sons life.(you really dont) If fact I think that by keeping him away from your son with his type of lifestyle is exactly what you need to do for your sons sake. You surely dont want your son to grow up around all that drama. I am not saying to keep him away from your baby daddys family. Because they didnt do anything and have every right to know your son. (am a grandma, so that comes from the heart) Go down to the D.As office and open up a child support case ASAP. Even if you dont get support now, the amount he owes you will just keep growing from the date you opened your case. I still get child support!! And I will for another 2 yrs and all my kids are grown. You sound like a smart lady, who just made some bad choices.The fact that your getting an education is awesome!! Now lets use some of that smarts in your day to day life. Your sons daddy is a cheater!! And he will just keep going from that other lady to you and back and forth as long as YOU let him. Stop The Madness Now!! Try to see your future with just you and your son. Keep all negative things out of your life, starting now.Stop any and all contact from this man!! He's a bad person and can only bring you down. Stop thinking about what you had with this man, because you dont have it anymore. If I were you, Id give some serious thought about relocating, and starting new some place else. And I really dont think anyone is laughing at you about anything. If people are thinking anything? They are thinking WOW what a mess this man has made out of TWO womens lifes. Its never to late to pull your life 2 gether. Congrats on graduating from school. You and your son are off to a great start in life all by yourselfs!! Stay N/C from now on. Just do it!! Do it for like 6 months to start. See how much better your life gets. Then in 6 month you can give this another look and see if then, that man has earned the right to be in his sons life. Stay strong were here if you need us...keep posting it helps..good luck Edited May 14, 2011 by stopthemadness
Author missyhum1 Posted May 14, 2011 Author Posted May 14, 2011 wow, "stopthemadness" that was sure uplifing words, and i thank you, i agree this man was bring me down. b4 the baby, i was trying to help him more than myself. trying to support him so that he won't sell drugs,i let him paroled at my home, than at my friends home, than last at my family house in which he mess up on all. i'm ashame that i stood with him for this long. thinking that i could change him to the person i'm really suppose to be with. what also hurt is that he plays the victim and everyone is against me like i'm a bad person, but i been the only person in his life that ever did the things 4 him. his family talk bad things about me (note, they are crimnals too). but i done nothing wrong but be good and true to him...all of this mess had ut my self esteem alittle down..
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