cooke Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Women help me out " Lol I need advice on this situation. Well I met my ex girlfriend online while I was in Iraq over sea's. I was over their for 14 months and we talked for about 6 months. We decided online that we were going to go out and call ourselves a couple to seal the deal. Well when I arrived back in the states from this deployment we finally met and enjoyed ourselves that moment iv arrived. Well I really think that I was immature at the time. She like talking about getting Married and having kids with a House. And I liked talking about " Clothes and Shoes and other things that had nothing to do with her views on life. I was completely attracted to this woman because of her personality and honesty. This is one of the maturest woman I have been with and it hurts not having her anymore. She talked about not feeling this connection with me many of times and I just flat out ignored this situation because I was just to immature and did not take this relationship seriously. Every time she sat me down to talk to me about this matter , I did not listen because I heard it before and I thought that she would never leave me because I'm a nice looking handsome young man. Well their were times also when I just wished she was away from me , because at times also I could not stand her. I did wished at the time when we were dating that she would just brake up with me so I can just date other women. But when them opportunities came when she sat me down to tell me that " She Loves Me ? But She's Not In Love with me I just felt the same also ? But I just needed her and I did not want to let her go. So after we finally broke up ? I left her place in Los Angles because I was heading off to Washington because of the military. Man did my heart hurt. I felt like **** and I wished I could rewind time to give this another shot. You know how most guys act desperate when a women brakes up with them. Well let me tell you ! I was desperate big time. I emailed her and text her and called her on the phone to explain to her that I love her and I wont her back. Oh boy I was heart broken. Theirs a old saying that you'll know when you have ****ed up. And sometimes things like that should happen so you can learn from your mistakes and carry on strong and wise towards that next situation that you will come upon. I say to myself that her braking up with me was the best thing that ever happen to me. Because now I know what it feels like to have a real woman and when you have something like that you should cherish that and treat her right every day. When I got down here to Washington of course I started right away dating. I had Women left and right here while I was still talking to my ex once in a while. It got to the point were we both felt comfortable to meet again as friends and hangout. Well I thought I was a Pimp because I had women here and still had my ex down in Los Angeles. But when I got to Los Angeles last week ? My God them feelings came back so quick and I could not handle myself. I did not want to bring anything up about my emotions because I knew it would had destroyed this little trip that iv had taken to visit her. So I been a man and respected her as a woman and kept to myself while we were out and about in Los Angeles. My feelings was so deep for her it was crazy. I was in LOVE with her and I wanted a second chance for her love. I really respect this woman , and I just wish that Iv would had treated her right from the start. I just can't stop thinking about her ever since I got back. I want to witness LOVE again ? I cutt off every connection here with these females that I do not care for. Because I'm to old now and I need a Woman that I can call my own. And what hurts me a lot is the fact that I had one and do to my immaturity at that time was something that Iv learned a lot from. This break up was the best thing that could have happen for me. Because now I know the true value of having a good woman ? Because I once did. I want " Love ! I want to get married and have children and wake up to the woman of my dreams everyday. Man I wish I could have my ex girlfriend back. We planned to meet up in August this year to hangout again. But these feelings that I have for her is just so deep. I could not express my feeling to her last time because I knew she wanted me to be mature about this situation and respect this. But its hard " Because " I LOVE HER. I just wish I had a second chance. I'll just do anything to hold this woman in my arms again. It's hard to try not to contact her and it's hard trying not to think about her. But her braking up with me made me so mature about women in general. And I just wished I had this maturity when we first met because we would have been married by now with kids and a house. I tried to move on and date but I don't feel nothing for these women like I feel for my ex girlfriend. All I can do Is be a mature adult and handle my business as a man and make this life that i'm living in good and healthy for me. I want a woman ? A good woman that Iv once had before and I know that God has plans for me in the future and all he wants me to do is live a good positive lifestyle starting now. An't nothing like a good woman you can call your own. And I had that before and hopefully it will come back to me in the future i'm just so ready for a woman I could call my own again.
daisyy Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 WOW you're beginning story is eerily like the one of me and my long term (now) ex boyfriend. When I first started reading it, I initially thought it may be him writing it! I also met my ex boyfriend "online" - two of our mutual friends dated one another and had it in the works for us to get to know one another. He was in Iraq for 9 months and we talked every potential chance we got. After getting back he was then stationed in Hawaii, while I'm on the mainland - we maintained a relationship thru this AND after he got out, he immediately moved in with me until we broke up. To answer your post, I think initially you "pushed" this girl away with brushing off her comments - it takes alot to open up to a guy this way and for you not to reciprocate the feelings is a major let down. Over time, this can deter one's feelings. My ex boyfriend also started acting strangely and started making his friends more of a priority than myself. He chose not to see the serious depression I was going into, looking back, I really needed him and felt he wasn't there for me and never would be tehre for me - one of the reasons I wished the relationship to be over. My ex has severe PTSD, everybody sees it but him. I would suggest to you to focus on yourself - if you have ANY PTSD please get counseling for it. When you're able to focus on youself, you can then focus on your girl. This doesn't mean you two can't talk, I would really encourage you to call/text/email and tell her you will do whatever it takes to make it work (and if you're going through PTSD, please keep her informed, if she loves you, she will support you and be there through the process). I apologize if there are too many comparisons from my ex boyfriend and my relationship. I can honestly tell you, I know how it feels from your ex girlfriend's perspective. I wish you luck
Author cooke Posted May 14, 2011 Author Posted May 14, 2011 (edited) WOW you're beginning story is eerily like the one of me and my long term (now) ex boyfriend. When I first started reading it, I initially thought it may be him writing it! I also met my ex boyfriend "online" - two of our mutual friends dated one another and had it in the works for us to get to know one another. He was in Iraq for 9 months and we talked every potential chance we got. After getting back he was then stationed in Hawaii, while I'm on the mainland - we maintained a relationship thru this AND after he got out, he immediately moved in with me until we broke up. To answer your post, I think initially you "pushed" this girl away with brushing off her comments - it takes alot to open up to a guy this way and for you not to reciprocate the feelings is a major let down. Over time, this can deter one's feelings. My ex boyfriend also started acting strangely and started making his friends more of a priority than myself. He chose not to see the serious depression I was going into, looking back, I really needed him and felt he wasn't there for me and never would be tehre for me - one of the reasons I wished the relationship to be over. My ex has severe PTSD, everybody sees it but him. I would suggest to you to focus on yourself - if you have ANY PTSD please get counseling for it. When you're able to focus on youself, you can then focus on your girl. This doesn't mean you two can't talk, I would really encourage you to call/text/email and tell her you will do whatever it takes to make it work (and if you're going through PTSD, please keep her informed, if she loves you, she will support you and be there through the process). I apologize if there are too many comparisons from my ex boyfriend and my relationship. I can honestly tell you, I know how it feels from your ex girlfriend's perspective. I wish you luck No I don't have PTSD ! Yes I do agree that I have bushed this woman away with by brushing off her comments and not taking her seriously as a adult with the concerns that she have about me. Now that I think about it ? If I had to rewind time and go back to the era when we met. It would have had been a great success on my part because I would have been so aware of this situation ahead of time. But this is real life and you can't rewind nothing. Sorry to hear about your ex having severe PTSD. PTSD is something that a solider wish he never gets in battle while he's over seas serving his country. Well after she broke up with me , I had a conversation with my grandfather and he told me if I love the woman call her and tell her. Well I did ? I just straight pured m heart out to her and the results were the same. She said that it was for the best and maybe if we wont talk for a while . I would get over it ? That was 2 and a half months ago and in them 2 months I flown down to see her ????? When I text her she responds and when I call her she picks up ? And now we have plans to meet up again in August. Yeah I am real focused on myself. I'm so focus that i'm focusing on how bad iv screwed up with this woman. I go to the gym everyday and study trying to keep a positive mind set with myself as a man. It's working alright. I just cutt off everybody thats a negativity to me. I do want to tell her how I feel about her again but I don't want them same words to come out her mouth like last time " I think it's for the best. But all I can say is that i'm going to try m best with this woman and if the results remain the same. I just have to move on and find another special woman that I can call my own. But I'm not giving up yet ! I believe that this woman was mint for me and i'm going to try my best to get her back into these arms of mines. Thanks a lot ! I hope you find a special person Ms Daisy you seem like a nice respectful woman. Thanks Edited May 14, 2011 by cooke
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