fortyninethousand322 Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 The chase makes it easy for guys who aren't good with women to give up early on. I guess in that way it does its job.
fishtaco Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 The chase makes it easy for guys who aren't good with women to give up early on. I guess in that way it does its job. I guess I must be pretty bad with women then.
chuckles11 Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 The chase makes it easy for guys who aren't good with women to give up early on. I guess in that way it does its job. I actually think it's the opposite. Guys that aren't good with women are more likely to double down when a woman is sending mixed signals regarding interest. Guys who are good with women just look for other women to date.
conehead Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 There's a thread on here where a male poster is complaining that he isn't compatible with a girl, yet he wants to keep dating her in the hope that she puts out. Clearly, he wants to use her for sex. If I was given the choice between being used for money or used for sex, I would definitely pick getting used for my money. The "chasing" mechanisms some women put in place are generally meant to distinguish between the men who are truly into you and the men who just want to get laid (and have no interest, or not respect for you). I wish men would understand why women might get cynical too. Neither men nor women have it easy in the dating scene. Finding the right person is hard. I agree 100%. I started my meeting halfway thread only because based on my experience, when a lot of guys do not put in enough effort into trying to pursue the girl, it may be that he isn't really that interested. And why would a girl want to date a guy who isn't interested? With a guy, a girl gives him her heart, soul, and body...a girl gives up a lot when she gives herself to the guy.
Woggle Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 I agree 100%. I started my meeting halfway thread only because based on my experience, when a lot of guys do not put in enough effort into trying to pursue the girl, it may be that he isn't really that interested. And why would a girl want to date a guy who isn't interested? With a guy, a girl gives him her heart, soul, and body...a girl gives up a lot when she gives herself to the guy. This is not true. Some women are just as shallow and meaningless in their desires as men are. What is so wrong with meeting in a public at the halfway mark and seeing if you hit it off with a guy?
fishtaco Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 I agree 100%. I started my meeting halfway thread only because based on my experience, when a lot of guys do not put in enough effort into trying to pursue the girl, it may be that he isn't really that interested. And why would a girl want to date a guy who isn't interested? With a guy, a girl gives him her heart, soul, and body...a girl gives up a lot when she gives herself to the guy. Oh yeah, I forgot. A guy never gives his his heart, soul, and body to the woman he loves. Here's a new concept for you think over. Maybe men are in the same boat as women. So 50-50 is usually a good way to go.
conehead Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Oh yeah, I forgot. A guy never gives his his heart, soul, and body to the woman he loves. Here's a new concept for you think over. Maybe men are in the same boat as women. So 50-50 is usually a good way to go. Girls get pregnant. Girls and guys are not equals....I'm not the feminist type. We are born different for reasons. It's not just that the guy wanted to meet halfway....I've been having doubts about him during our email and phone as well....I always sensed this kind of arrogance in his voice and like he has this apathetic attitude. Usually when a guys asks me out, he'd ask in a sweet way 'by the way, would you like to meet up some time?' while this guy just kinda goes 'so, wanna meet up?' When I asked if he wanted to chat on the phone he just goes 'sure, i'm up for it'....whereas most guys say 'that sounds like a good idea to get to know each other.' It's just the tone of his voice when he says certain things that is kind of off-putting. Him suggesting to meet halfway just kind of seals the deal. I met up with him today and yup he suggested we split the bill. Then he goes 'so, wanna meet up again?'
Disillusioned Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Thing is, though, the only way to get better is through practice. Or by winning the state lottery LOL!
Jynxx Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 'so, wanna meet up?' When I asked if he wanted to chat on the phone he just goes 'sure, i'm up for it'....whereas most guys say 'that sounds like a good idea to get to know each other.' It's just the tone of his voice when he says certain things that is kind of off-putting. Him suggesting to meet halfway just kind of seals the deal. I met up with him today and yup he suggested we split the bill. Then he goes 'so, wanna meet up again?' So what exactly is the problem?
oaks Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Him suggesting to meet halfway just kind of seals the deal. I met up with him today and yup he suggested we split the bill. Then he goes 'so, wanna meet up again?' I'm sorry that you didn't get a free meal.
Disillusioned Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 The real catch-22 is that the men and women who are keepers would never even put themselves on the market.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 I actually think it's the opposite. Guys that aren't good with women are more likely to double down when a woman is sending mixed signals regarding interest. Guys who are good with women just look for other women to date. The very first sign that a girl might not be interested I bail. I have never had a girlfriend. Connection there?
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 I agree 100%. I started my meeting halfway thread only because based on my experience, when a lot of guys do not put in enough effort into trying to pursue the girl, it may be that he isn't really that interested. And why would a girl want to date a guy who isn't interested? With a guy, a girl gives him her heart, soul, and body...a girl gives up a lot when she gives herself to the guy. A guy gives the same when he meets a girl. Maybe if he's cautious, it would come off as disinterest? Some women seem to think guys are these emotionless, soulless creatures. We bleed, too.
iris219 Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 If a guy is chasing me, he’s doing so because I’m not interested. If guys don’t like the chase, why do they do it? I don’t like being chased because as I just said, if a guy has to chase me, I’m not interested (and have probably made it clear that I’m not interested). This is super annoying. Therefore, I’m convinced many men either DO like the chase, or it’s an ego thing, where they just can’t believe they’re being rejected. I’ve said to numerous men that I wasn’t interested and they kept on trying to wear me down. I asked numerous men, “Why would you want someone you have to convince to like you?” I just recently had to block a friend from calling/texting because he wouldn’t stop with the dating/relationship discussion. It got to the point where I wished he would just disappear (so, essentially, I made him disappear). Men can’t stand rejection (especially men who aren’t used to) and will chase. I think some like it. They got a rush from trying to obtain a woman who's unobtainable (because she's not interested). Many women (like myself) do not like being chased because the word “chased” implies something one has to run from. Putting an effort into dating someone when both parties are on the same page (i.e., both are interested in dating each other) is not chasing someone.
Anxiety Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 If a guy is chasing me, he’s doing so because I’m not interested. If guys don’t like the chase, why do they do it? I don’t like being chased because as I just said, if a guy has to chase me, I’m not interested (and have probably made it clear that I’m not interested). This is super annoying. Therefore, I’m convinced many men either DO like the chase, or it’s an ego thing, where they just can’t believe they’re being rejected. I’ve said to numerous men that I wasn’t interested and they kept on trying to wear me down. I asked numerous men, “Why would you want someone you have to convince to like you?” I just recently had to block a friend from calling/texting because he wouldn’t stop with the dating/relationship discussion. It got to the point where I wished he would just disappear (so, essentially, I made him disappear). Men can’t stand rejection (especially men who aren’t used to) and will chase. I think some like it. They got a rush from trying to obtain a woman who's unobtainable (because she's not interested). Many women (like myself) do not like being chased because the word “chased” implies something one has to run from. Putting an effort into dating someone when both parties are on the same page (i.e., both are interested in dating each other) is not chasing someone. That doesn't mean the guy likes to chase. If there was someone else that he liked as much as you, and was available, you would be yesterdays news.
TheLoneSock Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 I like to chase women. But there is a difference in playing hard to get and actually being hard to get. If you're just playing, I will most likely lose interest the instant I figure it out. In other words, if you're only acting like you're hot sh*t, I might be a little intrigued for a while, but I'll figure you out soon and bail. If you really are hot sh*t, I will genuinely pursue.
fishtaco Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Girls get pregnant. Girls and guys are not equals....I'm not the feminist type. We are born different for reasons. If getting pregnant is such a horrible thing, then use birth control. Don't act like you're doing men a favor. Also what does pregnancy have anything to do with anything? Because you are capable of bearing children that entitles you to something? You do realize most women can accomplish the same right? So unless the female population drops down to some very low ratio compared to men, the "ability to give birth" is going to stay as a common commodity. Look around you. Every women is your competitor. Feel free to stay on your high horse. The woman next to you won't, and men will like her better. There's nothing that you can provide, that she can't. And going with my equality theme, men are the same. I have sperm production. I can make a decent income. Big deal. The guy next to me can do the same. I'm not going to throw that out as if I automatically deserve something just because. If I were the few men alive on the planet, then yes, suddenly by being simply a man I'm special. But this is obviously not the case. Being a man doesn't make me special, being a woman doesn't make you special.
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