Ruby Slippers Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 mmm, i dont like if they play hard to get. but i have noticed, that if its too easy i like it up to the point where i get inside them, and for another half an hour... but then i actually loose interest, coz the thoughts starts ticking on how often she does that with men in general. so its one of those hard to judge issues. i would say, if i dont want a relationship anyway, i just want the woman on her back as soon as possible and any time spent on the process is just boring and feels unecessary, like sitting on a bus, waiting to get finally get home. if i liek the girl, and she is a candidate for a relationship i still dont like the chase per se, but realise that it is necessary for me to attach to her. Great response. I think most women know this intuitively, so the less effort the guy makes, the quicker we are to assume he isn't really interested in anything deeper.
Jynxx Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I don't like it. I like passion, electricity in the air, amazing sex 4 times a night from the 2nd date on. I feel for people who need to buy their way to a woman's heart with money and attention, only to be found good enough after jumping through the hoops, then being allowed missionary position once a week after 2 months of courting. If that's what she wants, no thanks I'll pass.
fishtaco Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 In the past, when men had some assurance that the object of their "chase" had some special value worthy of chasing, and was not blowing another guy right before an expensive date, the chase had some merit and made sense. Today not so much. The wise man today learns to get what he wants without chasing, to let the chumps waste their time and money instead. Machiavellian, yes sadly so, but we learned to be that way from women. This right here. It is the modern dating culture that every man is disposable. Good for you ladies. Do what's best for you. Well, that also means every woman is also disposable, because men have to do what men have to do as well. That is until proven otherwise of course. So before "otherwise" is proven, it'd be stupid for a man (or a woman) to invest anything significant. Unless the person is desperate, or holding on to idealistic concepts. Basically, what you see is what you get; now is the only thing that counts. Hence if a woman is playing hard to get, I will hit the limit of my cost/benefit assessment rather quickly, and go find someone else instead.
Author Velociraptor Posted May 13, 2011 Author Posted May 13, 2011 Great response. I think most women know this intuitively, so the less effort the guy makes, the quicker we are to assume he isn't really interested in anything deeper. Likewise if a woman doesn't put in any effort, I'd assume she isn't intrested. Offcourse you women have the double standard that only the man has to put in all the effort while you sit back and do nothing.
fishtaco Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Likewise if a woman doesn't put in any effort, I'd assume she isn't intrested. Offcourse you women have the double standard that only the man has to put in all the effort while you sit back and do nothing. Don't give Ruby Slippers a hard time. Lucky for us not all women are like her. Let her do her own thing. Consider this a filter. It keeps you from accidentally dating women like her, and it keeps her from accidentally dating men like us. We all win in our own ways at the end.
Author Velociraptor Posted May 13, 2011 Author Posted May 13, 2011 Don't give Ruby Slippers a hard time. Lucky for us not all women are like her. Let her do her own thing. Yeah lets hope so! I'd rather turn gay if all women were like her.
Star Gazer Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I don't think men like to chase a woman who's playing hard to get games. I DO think a man likes to woo a woman who is receptive and appreciative of his efforts.
fishtaco Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I don't think men like to chase a woman who's playing hard to get games. I DO think a man likes to woo a woman who is receptive and appreciative of his efforts. Bingo. Star Gazer knows what's up. It's the best when I put in my effort, she appreciates it, and in return, puts in her effort as well.
jerbear Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I don't think men like to chase a woman who's playing hard to get games. I DO think a man likes to woo a woman who is receptive and appreciative of his efforts. Ding! The first is a pushover and "nice" guy. The latter is more manly.
Woggle Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I don't think men like to chase a woman who's playing hard to get games. I DO think a man likes to woo a woman who is receptive and appreciative of his efforts. Exactly. Show some appreciation and I will work hard for a woman but I'll be damned if I bend over backwards for a princess who is never impressed.
Star Gazer Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Exactly. Show some appreciation and I will work hard for a woman but I'll be damned if I bend over backwards for a princess who is never impressed. THAT, it "the woo." I love the woo.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 I suppose I am like Ross, in that I'm a beta male who hates to chase girls. I want them to chase ME.
skydiveaddict Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 actually its the woman who starts the "chase" when she finds a suitable candidate Quoted for truth
Ruby Slippers Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 (edited) Yeah lets hope so! I'd rather turn gay if all women were like her. Wow. How in the world did my post evoke such a mean-spirited reaction? Edited May 14, 2011 by Ruby Slippers
Woggle Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Leave Ruby alone. She has said some things in anger that I have not liked but overall she is okay. You can't expect a woman to fully see things from a man's point of view anymore than I can fully see things from a woman's point of view.
Disillusioned Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 I never do the chase thing because it's a waste of time. Why should I knock myself out just to get to talk to a woman who probably doesn't share any of my interests? Plus, if she gets angry when a man doesn't chase her, that's a dead giveaway she's a control freak. I've had unpleasant encounters with four like that. One even tried to get me fired from a job when I resisted her come-ons. If you're dealing with a woman like that, RUN. Heh heh, it's obvious to me that the Internet hasn't completely leveled the dating field yet. We have a long way to go. Women are still expecting men to use ESP to find them.
EasyHeart Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Chasing a woman is a fun part of dating. My guess is that a lot of you who don't like "the chase" just have trouble picking up on social cues, and what you call "playing hard to get" is what she calls "I'm completely uninterested, but this clueless guy just won't leave me alone".
fishtaco Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Chasing a woman is a fun part of dating. My guess is that a lot of you who don't like "the chase" just have trouble picking up on social cues, and what you call "playing hard to get" is what she calls "I'm completely uninterested, but this clueless guy just won't leave me alone". Well, as far as I know, playing hard to get is actually a strategy some women employ as a filter to block out men they deem inadequate. Basically, if a man doesn't bend over backwards for her, he must not be worthy. Hence even though the woman is interested, she pretends she's not, just to see how far the man is willing to go, in order to get her attention. It's a strategy that doesn't work on me, but I'm sure it's because I'm inadequate.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Chasing a woman is a fun part of dating. My guess is that a lot of you who don't like "the chase" just have trouble picking up on social cues, and what you call "playing hard to get" is what she calls "I'm completely uninterested, but this clueless guy just won't leave me alone". Ha. No I've been told I give up too quickly and that I'm too quick to assume a girl is disinterested. I don't like the chase because it gives mixed signals, signals that I always assume are negative.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Well, as far as I know, playing hard to get is actually a strategy some women employ as a filter to block out men they deem inadequate. Basically, if a man doesn't bend over backwards for her, he must not be worthy. Hence even though the woman is interested, she pretends she's not, just to see how far the man is willing to go, in order to get her attention. It's a strategy that doesn't work on me, but I'm sure it's because I'm inadequate. I'm with this. An older friend of mine (a woman) told me this exactly.
Jazzari Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 I thought this was a facinating study: http://www.spring.org.uk/2010/03/does-playing-hard-to-get-work.php Basically it said that men liked women that was hard FOR OTHER men to get. But easy for themselves to get.
sanskrit Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Wow. How in the world did my post evoke such a mean-spirited reaction? Yeah I couldn't figure that out either.
chuckles11 Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Wow. How in the world did my post evoke such a mean-spirited reaction? I think that was blowback from the meet halfway thread, rather than being based on what you wrote here.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Leave Ruby alone. You know what? If anyone's going to have my back, I'm glad it's you, Woggle! I've been the target of some really mean attacks from men on here lately, for the first time ever on this board, really, and I have seen the same toward other women in some other threads. It's making me think about quitting LS for good, because who needs that? Yes, I talk about my cynical thoughts and feeling here sometimes, but I also give encouraging advice to people and keep getting more solid on a good path. As for chasing, I haven't engaged in most of the behavior described here. I definitely prefer to be a little more traditional and let the man come to me in certain ways. But I was thinking today about how most of the guys I've been with have told me, "I've never felt more like a man than I do with you." And I think that's because I do my best to let a man be a man. And I really think that most men (or the kind of men I click best with) want to pursue what they want, and find doing this motivating and uplifting. I don't ignore a man or play games. A man always knows where he stands with me. And trust me, I pursue what I want in every other area. But where men are concerned, I feel that a more demure stance is much more natural and enjoyable for both sides.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Yeah I couldn't figure that out either. Thank you!
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