pbjbear Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I guess I just don't know if there is truly something better (relationship) or if I just have fear of commitment? She isnt the one for you. Thats why you dont want to commit. If she really pressured you to move in with her after 3 months that is cuckoo and I dont know why you didnt bolt. But at the same time, I cant blame her for being irritated with you...youve been dating so long and you obviously have been dragging your feet. I would have peaced out from the relationship awhile ago due to thinking I must not be right for you, but thats me. Sounds like you like the comfort/security of the relationship but you are just not all that into her.
veggirl Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I guess I just don't know if there is truly something better (relationship) or if I just have fear of commitment? Dude a fear of committment? No you're just dating a major bitch and you're too insecure to be alone so you put up with all her crap. 1
TaraMaiden Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 Dude a fear of committment? No you're just dating a major bitch and you're too insecure to be alone so you put up with all her crap. Well, I hate to say it - it's blunt, pulls no punches, and akin to a bucket of iced water - but she has it nailed, Phateless.
Author Phateless Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 Thanks for the honesty. if that's true then how do I deal with it? I've been in therapy for years and am generally self aware, but I feel stuck on this issue...
TaraMaiden Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 Thanks for the honesty. if that's true then how do I deal with it? I've been in therapy for years and am generally self aware, but I feel stuck on this issue... Oh will you please stop being such a wimp and asking people to hold your hand?? You're thirty, not three! Read the quoted answers below, then end the relationship. Or would you like us to come round and do it for you?? Leave. What you're doing, obviously isn't working, and hasn't done for nearly 4 years. How many more years are you going to continue before you finally 'get' that your behaviour is insane? And please don't come up with any excuses... "The thing is, she said...." "The problem with that is....." "I can't do this because...." Quit. Leave. End it. Move on. Finito. (What's the betting we'll get another 'update' in 2015.....?) Of course you do. Don't be so obtuse.... The thing about patterns is that they repeat. The standard thing to do is to observe what happened the last time this pattern 'repeated' - and NOT do it this time. Change tack. Give a different response. But this isn't a pattern any more, is it......? This is now a 'habit'. And it's a habit you both feed and play in to. You're co-dependent, because you not only have a habit - you orchestrate and arrange it, quite willingly. Otherise, this would have stopped years ago. This is your life, now as you live it. And will continue to be for the foreseeable future. because you've CHOSEN it that way. Dude a fear of committment? No you're just dating a major bitch and you're too insecure to be alone so you put up with all her crap.
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