xochi Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Hello I am new to this very popular forum. I would love some commentary and advice on my 10 month old relationship. We moved in together officially 2 months ago. Previous to that, he kept his apartment but rarely stayed there. He lived in a rural area about 2 hours drive north of the metro area where I live. I own my own home and have lived here for 17 years. I was married and got divorced 7 years ago, bought out my ex husband and stayed in the house. He has been divorced for over 20 years. We discussed a long term plan. We both want to be married to each other. He wants to live in the area where he has lived for he last 25 years (rural). I have lived urban for the last 32 years. I do want to move there with him, BUT need to wait for 6 years. I want to earn enough to pay off my mortgage and rent my house out as additional income when moving up there as my career pays little in a non urban environment. This was agreed upon in the early, smitten phase of the relationship. However, he complains excessively about living here and has not found anything to make him feel more comfortable. He is an avid hiker and we live right near an extensive land reservation and although he has a map to it, has not gone there except for short walks with me when I get home from work. He has a full day off on which I am working. Has not made any new friends. There are social groups which hike this area where new friends are a possible find. I go back to his old stomping ground frequently and have made friends with his friends who I find kind and sympathetic people. I can't shake the feeling that he will be miserable and unhappy for the next 6 years and I don't think I can take it. Any questions or advice???
Zapbasket Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 That's a rough situation. Have you asked him why he's not making an effort to make himself more "at home" where you live? If not, that's a good start.
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