Banker Chick Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 My bf and I have been dating a little over a year and 1/2. We've lived an hour and 1/2 apart the whole time. He also goes to school (college to be a teacher) and works. Because of this we have struggled off and on with logistics and timing. We broke up last August for 4 months due to the stress of him taking 5 classes while working full time, although we rarely lost contact trying to do NC, LC, friends, FWB, etc. until we finally officially got back together around Christmas. Since then, things have been up and down (with me, not with him). He asked me to marry him in February and I wasn't sure if the timing was right so I basically didn't answer. This was hard for him but we continued along the way were were. I've thought more about marriage since then but feel we need to live closer, if not together, to figure out our true compatibility. Truthfully, the distance has caused us to not have a relationship like others have with a lot of date nights, sleepovers, relaxing time, etc. It seems we're always rushed and then when we leave each other we don't always know when we'll be able to work out another time together. We had finally in fits and starts gotten to the point we were talking about a move the end of July because it would be before the start of his fall semester and he'd move up here with me. We even looked at places together online. I think I got scared and we started bickering ... the majority of it due to how I handle things. We do not fight about money, kids, religion, etc. (core issues) but just stupid little sh*t. This culminated in him getting angry, throwing up his hands and saying he wasn't sure what he wanted since we "fight all the time". I tried to broach the subject a day or so later but the minute the words were out of my mouth he got angry again (he rarely gets angry). He doesn't want to be pressured, etc. All this happened Tuesday night but he still wanted me to stay with him and we cuddled and were loving (he said I love you several times). When I left his house on Wed. morning I was easy breezy and told him to text when he wanted. He's the type of guy that doesn't want to have relationship talks and just sort of wants things to fall back into place. As a woman, that's hard for me. He abhors confrontation of any kind. Because of a lot of miscommunication in the past, I texted him yesterday the following: "Hi there. Hope class went well. This text requires no response (unless you want to). Just wanted you to know I love you & am giving you the time & space you asked for. I will not pressure you nor threaten you with dating others. I will simply wait for you to make a decision that's best for you, something I haven't done in the past. You are in my thoughts C. <3 xoxo." He responded with comments about his class and such and ended it with a <3. That's a typical text from him as if nothing has happened ... I'm sure he'd like to just pick up where we left off and be friendly but I want to give him time to really think about what he wants. So ... my question to you all ... I'm fully prepared to leave him alone, but how much time and space is good? A weekend? A week? Two weeks? At what point do I either ask for an answer or just walk away? I know I said I wouldn't pressure him but everyone has a point where they need to move on. Thoughts?
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