Wish I was brave enough to send this to me MM !

[vweb1218]

Emotional affairs can be eye openers, but you need to work on the relationship you have, or you may well lose it. This is an area where free will comes intensely into play. With an emotional affair a revelation is there: usually, such a situation indicates that something deep is missing from your relationship. It’s up to you to decide if it’s worth working on. If not, you must move on.

 

And to think he's so involved with me 8 months in !! I like the last sentence the best.. but of course I do I'm the OW !!

[TigerCub]

Emotional affairs can be eye openers, but you need to work on the relationship you have, or you may well lose it. This is an area where free will comes intensely into play. With an emotional affair a revelation is there: usually, such a situation indicates that something deep is missing from your relationship. It’s up to you to decide if it’s worth working on. If not, you must move on.

 

And to think he's so involved with me 8 months in !! I like the last sentence the best.. but of course I do I'm the OW !!

 

I think the statement in bold is overly simplified.

that "something" that is missing could very well be within the person, and not a fault of the relationship they are in.

 

And if its missing within them, it wouldn't matter what relationship they are in and who they are with - the voids will still be there, unless they are addressed.

 

I think that was the biggest lesson I learned about affair situations - but that was my lesson - it may not be yours.

 

I hope you find true fulfillment

[vweb1218]

TigerCub: I see and understand what you are saying. I do think and hope it is just the relationship and not something lacking in himself. I would honestly say it is a little of both. Sometime once you are in a kind of relationship like what I see in his you realize you need just the opposite. I say this because from what I see it is quite similar to one of my past relationship. Of course I am not in their relationship so completely hard to say for sure. I just feel like he is WAY to unhappy so quick. Even If nothing ever was to happen between the two of us as a friend alone I would tell him to get out now before things get worse. He was totally different before he got married and then about two months in there was an obvious change.

 

From our conversations I think he is realizing he needs something else altogether in life and not just in his marriage. He knows he is in an transition period and describes himself currently as No status quo ??? Looked it up but still not 100 % what that means. I hope he finds what he needs soon and of course I hope I am part of that equation. I really do love him and just not romantically but as a friend also. I would never wish a bad day on him !!

[Lucky_One]

I don't get why you would need to be brave to send this to your soulmate twin? If you are so close and so closely attuned to each other, then this blurb should just be something to discuss, right?

 

Granted, I don't see why an OW would send this to her MM anyway, because it reads to me that it is encouraging the MP to end the EA and concentrate on the primary R.

[phillyfan]

Dude tbh I dont think the guy is gona take much notice of it. To a guy its just fluff, i didnt really get it, u wanna say sumthin really ball breakin to him? U gotta make it more obvious, like, 'youve been bangin me online/in person/wateva, u know i love u, do u love me, n r u gona leave ur wife?' Then see wat answer u get n act on it. Done.

[26pointblue]

Dude tbh I dont think the guy is gona take much notice of it. To a guy its just fluff, i didnt really get it, u wanna say sumthin really ball breakin to him? U gotta make it more obvious, like, 'youve been bangin me online/in person/wateva, u know i love u, do u love me, n r u gona leave ur wife?' Then see wat answer u get n act on it. Done.

 

So true!

 

I always over-analyzed everything & got all caught up in meanings & feelings & thoughts, but at the end of the day it was all very simple. Actions speak louder than words & it all depends on if he wants to leave his wife & is going to leave his wife. No discussion or article or deep-thinking will make that so- only his decision & actions.

[RecordProducer]

Of course I am not in their relationship

But you so want to be in their relationship.

[TigerCub]

TigerCub: I see and understand what you are saying. I do think and hope it is just the relationship and not something lacking in himself. I would honestly say it is a little of both. Sometime once you are in a kind of relationship like what I see in his you realize you need just the opposite. I say this because from what I see it is quite similar to one of my past relationship. Of course I am not in their relationship so completely hard to say for sure. I just feel like he is WAY to unhappy so quick.

The part in bold is what actually makes me think that its about him not the relationship.

 

Sometimes people think that if they just accomplish (fill in the blank), or just get (such & such) they will be happy, but even after they get these things, they realize they are still unhappy - and that means that there is something in them that needs to be addressed that they are not addressing.

 

Problems in a relationship (most normal relationships) take a long time for things to build up to get to the point of being "way too unhappy"

I don't think it happens in a matter of 2 months or so - unless he's realizing that the act of getting married didn't fill his void, make him happy like he thought it would.

 

From our conversations I think he is realizing he needs something else altogether in life and not just in his marriage. He knows he is in an transition period and describes himself currently as No status quo ??? Looked it up but still not 100 % what that means. I hope he finds what he needs soon and of course I hope I am part of that equation. I really do love him and just not romantically but as a friend also. I would never wish a bad day on him !!

 

Again bold shows that its him - not really the relationship.

I think its good that he's realizing that he needs to figure some stuff out in his "transition" period.

 

I think the best thing you can do is to just be his friend - don't make it more than friendship because from what he's saying and showing, he's not even ok with himself, he needs to sort himself out, he needs to figure out his life & marriage issues - he will not have anything worthwhile to offer you until he gets all that together.

[vweb1218]

I so want to be in their relationship ??? Are you kidding me ? Their relationship totally sucks if you ask me.

 

I'm not jealous of the relationship. Just upset that she doesn't see his value or really dig deep to see that he has more that one side to his personality.

 

I'm sure she is very sweet but very wrapped up in the idea of a "perfect life" without really looking at the whole picture. She is quite young and very focused on checking things off in her life. Next is a house purchase, but he's not really going for that. Trying very hard to randomly spend every bit of money on anything else. Spending big bucks on his boss just to give him a fun time.

Even trying to trade in their car's instead.

 

I'm am pretty sure that she just know's his GOOD side but might be get a glimmer of his "BAD BOY " side.

 

Quote: Worst thing in his life right now "Trying to be someone I'm not "..

A statement that truly upset me I was speechless and he knew it and made a joke about something totally different after .

 

Why on earth would I want to be in their relationship ? A relationship where I can't be myself ? ****ing shoot me first, I swear to GOD. I could last maybe ten whole minutes being someone I'm not.

 

A relationship were you have to hide and sneak around just to touch your very own body ? Once again F ing choke me.

 

A relationship that has completely sucked his spirit and turned him into way to much drinking and gambling ? A relationship where you can't wait till they leave because you can finally be by yourself ?

 

A relationship that has turned your male best friend into the new Dr. Phil ? Ahh, no thank you !!

 

And most of all a relationship where your partner has completely bonded, sometimes obsesses over, tells everything to, dreams about and stays in constant contact with, gets jealous of her male interactions.. Ahh, can you say No thank you.. In that case I would for sure like to remain the OW. I get to see all the different sides of him. No matter what happens I can that an advantage any day !!

[vweb1218]

I do agree.... He has other things that he needs to work on an has to find out what those are. I have backed off a ton on the sexually charged aspect of our relationship. He was in a lot of denial but is slowly opening up about things that he is unhappy about, in his marriage and otherwise. I am his friend first and I know that's what he needs the most right now.. My only problem is he hints a lot about "their" issues, like he wants to tell me about them. I just don't know if I could be objective and kinda don't really want to hear about it.

[Mimolicious]

You know...I read this and I just had to reply with the bolded. It really amazes me how people get so lost in details sometimes... VWED, bebe check this out, and please for a second think this:

 

IF this MM was married to your sister and you knew all the same exact details that you wrote below (minus the you being in a EA with him) would you still feel and see things the same? Be honest.

 

I so want to be in their relationship ??? Are you kidding me ? Their relationship totally sucks if you ask me.

 

I'm not jealous of the relationship. Just upset that she doesn't see his value or really dig deep to see that he has more that one side to his personality.

 

Upset? why are you so caught up in their business? Remember, all that glitters ain't always gold! Ironically, you are also just seeing one side of him and of course it's his "best side". How would he be able to charm you by showing you his "bad side"? (and EVERYONE has one, nobody is perfect! NOBODY!)

 

I'm sure she is very sweet but very wrapped up in the idea of a "perfect life" without really looking at the whole picture. She is quite young and very focused on checking things off in her life. Next is a house purchase, but he's not really going for that. Trying very hard to randomly spend every bit of money on anything else. Spending big bucks on his boss just to give him a fun time.

Even trying to trade in their car's instead.

 

Uh? What's the whole picture? Have you ever thought that your MM is probably providing the "FRAME" for that picture to his W? Why do you think that his W is chewing bubble gum and picking neighborhoods to purchase a house? People get M and they try to prosper in life. A home purchase is down a futuristic path for people who are M, even if they are living in deceit. Remember, only your MM really knows the truth. Not you or his W. Both of you think you do and yet neither of you really hold the key. Funny thing is, that if she knew you existed, she will probably have the same perception of you. That he is feeding you lies and making glossy pictures to keep you reeled in. The same thing that you are calling his W stupid for doing.

 

"She is very young and focused on checking things off in her life" -

 

Is that supposed to be a bad thing? Why shouldn't she? We shall never stop evolving... What have you checked off yours lately?

 

"He's not going for that"-

 

Hope not! You don't see this as a sign that this dude may be a slacker and this could be a reason why his W is the one to make moves? That he is not getting anything in return because he may not really be putting anything out. At times, we are too busy judging, yet we are really missing the "big picture".

 

He is spending big bucks showing his boss a good time? You lost me there. If this is what your MM is doing, do you see that as the right and mature thing to do? This sounds juvenile...

 

I'm am pretty sure that she just know's his GOOD side but might be get a glimmer of his "BAD BOY " side.

 

Quote: Worst thing in his life right now "Trying to be someone I'm not "..

A statement that truly upset me I was speechless and he knew it and made a joke about something totally different after .

 

Interesting. "Trying to be someone I am not". Is that nobel or something? For all you know this guy has serious issues, doesn't even know who in the world he is and that fiction may be the side that you get to see. Are you willing to stand by someone that doesn't even know himself?

 

Why on earth would I want to be in their relationship ? A relationship where I can't be myself ? ****ing shoot me first, I swear to GOD. I could last maybe ten whole minutes being someone I'm not.

 

I agree. I wanted to ask you the same. Why on earth do you find this guy facinating and amazing? You can last 10 whole mins and your MM is lasting quiet a little while being someone he is not. How come you have this kind of discipline for yourself and yet patronize it on the man that you love? You are who you are, you stand for something. Don't you?

 

A relationship were you have to hide and sneak around just to touch your very own body ? Once again F ing choke me.

 

He is hiding and sneaking around in your R. *choked* Like they say, A R that you have to hide and lie about is not worth having.

 

A relationship that has completely sucked his spirit and turned him into way to much drinking and gambling ? A relationship where you can't wait till they leave because you can finally be by yourself ?

 

A relationship that has turned your male best friend into the new Dr. Phil ? Ahh, no thank you !!

 

Wait, his male friends are also his "therapists"? Poor friends... Send this guy to intensive therapy. Seriously.

 

And most of all a relationship where your partner has completely bonded, sometimes obsesses over, tells everything to, dreams about and stays in constant contact with, gets jealous of her male interactions.. Ahh, can you say No thank you.. In that case I would for sure like to remain the OW. I get to see all the different sides of him. No matter what happens I can that an advantage any day !!

 

But wait... you don't get to see the ALL the different sides of him. You get to see the "good side". No? You don't get to see all that you commented above.

 

With all due respect, this guy doesn't deserve you or his W. He is taking his W for the ride, while perhaps draining her since it sounds like she is single handed in her M. Married to someone that is like a phantom in their R. (So sad! Hope someone tells her very soon who her H really is, VWEB, maybe you can do the honors!)

 

He is taking you for the ride too. Eventually, you'll be lost in translation as well. You sound pretty caught up in all of this (understandably) it will be kinda f'ed up if you were to wake up one day and realise that this man is in fact the same person overall. I am sure he did some fancy things to charm his W in the past too.

 

Some say there are 3 sides to a story. His side, her side and the truth. Here there are 4. His, hers, yours and the truth. There may be no truth though, not when you are dealing with someone with internal issues. Sounds like your MM may have tons of those. Are you willing to be drained by them?

[Heather1]

Poor guy....drinking & gambling because his young W wants a house & a life that most women want when they get married. He is feeding you the biggest line of BS & grooming you like you wouldn't believe. Of all the lame stuff OM pulled on me, I'm glad he didn't insult me w/ the "troubles in my M" crap.

 

This is a guy who's laying it on the line for you, so when you cross the line you have no voice in the R because you got in knowing the score, & when you do cross the line it's going to be REALLY hard.

 

I judge people by how they talk about others, especially the ones they at one time promised to love.

 

I think you're in too deep to walk away, but don't go in this totally blind & cry victim when you figure out he's a drinker/gambler & he's the one who made him that way.

[UntoldStory]

vweb, I'm a stbDW. I was in an EA too, with someone I still consider a soulmate. These things create very powerful feelings that can be life-changing. It was certainly that way for me, and the changes have been 100% positive in my life. I am getting a divorce and focusing on the things I need to work on before I get involved with anyone else (namely keeping healthy boundaries), and I am looking forward to being alone for a while with my kids, and focusing on them.

 

However, my xMM is still with his wife, and his life is hell because he cannot choose. He is not decisive enough or brave enough to move one way or the other. He's a classic fence-sitter. He has young kids too, has been married for less time, and doesn't want to let anyone down. He wants to make it work with his wife if he can because if he can get his needs met with her, life would be easier for everyone. But he's not really working on it because he's experienced these feelings in the EA and he wants those back, without having to do the hard work to earn the right to have them free and clear of any other commitments.

 

xMM and I are in NC now (mutual decision). I still consider him a friend, and I still have feelings for him, but right now while he struggles, those feelings are mostly pity. I guess my point is - just as TC and Mimolicious have said - all you are seeing now is his good side. He's actually showing you his bad side, but you're blind to it -- his bad side is demonstrated by his *actions* - the fact that after 8 months, he's still with his wife and he's cheating on her with you.

 

In the fog of an EA, you won't be able to see the red flags -- but you might want to try to take a more balanced view of him.

Edited May 17, 2011 by UntoldStory

[vweb1218]

I know lots of sides to him that W does not know about. W does not know of his "day boozing" because he is back to "sober" by the time she gets home. W doesn't know he watches porn or has "dirty fantasies " because she is a prude and would not understand. W does not know about a lot of his past, because he once again he would not tell her because she is TO conservative. Im sure he has love for her but does he really want to be with someone who he has to walk on egg shells with or who he can't express his true self with without feeling like a dirty boy ?

 

Know one on here knows my MM. You can say he doesn't deserve this or that me or her, but you do not know him. He is a super sweet man and who always puts my concerns first before his. No, I'm sure he doesn't want to let anyone down and thats probably why he is still with her.

 

As mature as it is not. Most men either wait to get caught or act like a complete Ahole when they want to break off a relationship. Most men will not go straight to the W and say Hey, btw..I am deeply involved in an ER and very confused on what I want to do.

[Mme. Chaucer]

OP - I would like you to address just one thing for me. I acknowledge that I rarely, if ever, post with any kind of sympathy or support for those actively engaging in affairs while married or with married people, but this is NOT an attack. I sincerely would like to hear how you address this:

 

Do you have any misgivings or caution whatsoever about the character of this married man who has entered into betrayal of his marriage just TWO MONTHS after taking the vows?

 

It's like a broken record, I know, all of us who are not "pro-affair" decrying the character of a person who is okay with lying and cheating. But a guy who would do this mere weeks after entering into a marriage ... I mean, what kind of a person would do this? Do you think there is something to be concerned about that is demonstrated here? At all?

[UntoldStory]

Im sure he has love for her but does he really want to be with someone who he has to walk on egg shells with or who he can't express his true self with without feeling like a dirty boy ?

 

Know one on here knows my MM. You can say he doesn't deserve this or that me or her, but you do not know him. He is a super sweet man and who always puts my concerns first before his. No, I'm sure he doesn't want to let anyone down and thats probably why he is still with her.

 

Here's my question for you: what do you *expect* from him? If your expectation is that he will leave her within x months and you'll be together, you should make that clear to him, and see what he says.

 

If your expectation is that he'll continue to be very sweet to you and put you first while staying married to her, you probably don't need to say anything. It will probably go that way as long as you're willing to take it.

[vweb1218]

OP - I would like you to address just one thing for me. I acknowledge that I rarely, if ever, post with any kind of sympathy or support for those actively engaging in affairs while married or with married people, but this is NOT an attack. I sincerely would like to hear how you address this:

 

Do you have any misgivings or caution whatsoever about the character of this married man who has entered into betrayal of his marriage just TWO MONTHS after taking the vows?

 

It's like a broken record, I know, all of us who are not "pro-affair" decrying the character of a person who is okay with lying and cheating. But a guy who would do this mere weeks after entering into a marriage ... I mean, what kind of a person would do this? Do you think there is something to be concerned about that is demonstrated here? At all?

 

 

Not that i am pro affair or divorce but if it is not right then best to find out now that years down the line..I think that's why some people get marriages analled (sp).. I feel it better that if he realizes he is not happy and that this relationship is not going to work that he figures it out sooner than later..

 

Thank God he doesn't have kids, because that would be a mess I would not want to be involved with. (sorry to the OW involved with MM's with kids).

 

I see it as 2 months in and completely emotionally connected to another girl, should provoke some thought as to if he did the right thing meaning (marriage). I feel he for sure did not and I am honestly taking out my romantic feelings and just saying this as a friend. emotions back in I say leave leave leave !!! We could have so much fun together.

 

He really needs to think !! I feel he is so disconnected already and do not see this in his other relations such as how he is about his friends and family (completely engaged ).. He is even super connected to his pooch so IDK !! Love that way he looks at the pooch, LOL !!!

[waytogo]

I know lots of sides to him that W does not know about. W does not know of his "day boozing" because he is back to "sober" by the time she gets home. W doesn't know he watches porn or has "dirty fantasies " because she is a prude and would not understand. W does not know about a lot of his past, because he once again he would not tell her because she is TO conservative. Im sure he has love for her but does he really want to be with someone who he has to walk on egg shells with or who he can't express his true self with without feeling like a dirty boy ?

 

Know one on here knows my MM. You can say he doesn't deserve this or that me or her, but you do not know him. He is a super sweet man and who always puts my concerns first before his. No, I'm sure he doesn't want to let anyone down and thats probably why he is still with her.

 

As mature as it is not. Most men either wait to get caught or act like a complete Ahole when they want to break off a relationship. Most men will not go straight to the W and say Hey, btw..I am deeply involved in an ER and very confused on what I want to do.

 

Vweb, I think you said you are 37? Really think here. He isn't 'dayboozing' because of her. He is doing it because he is a dayboozer. He may stop drinking by evening because of her. Is that a bad thing?

 

With you, he would likely keep drinking thru the night, as you'll take him anyway he comes.

 

Also, you say he's only showed her this conservative side to match hers. You either like or tollerate the 'bad boys'. What if he ain't so bad afterall. Just a drunk (do I need to tell you what excessive drinking or drugs do to a man's performance?) What's exciting about being with a person who is not motivated to do anything but drink until passing out? What else is bad boy about him? He touches himself behind his W's back? Does he have any cool lay in on the line hobbies? Rockclimbing, repelling, motorcycles, driving race cars. I'm guessing no. Those activities are usually done in the day time; and require sobriety (barring a death wish).

 

I agree with the other poster. If you are so close, why do you have to WISH you could send him anything you'd like him to read? Actually, you have the ability to send it to him. Are you afraid you he won't see it the same as you do, when you two are 'just alike'?

[greengoddess]

I know lots of sides to him that W does not know about. W does not know of his "day boozing" because he is back to "sober" by the time she gets home. W doesn't know he watches porn or has "dirty fantasies " because she is a prude and would not understand. W does not know about a lot of his past, because he once again he would not tell her because she is TO conservative. Im sure he has love for her but does he really want to be with someone who he has to walk on egg shells with or who he can't express his true self with without feeling like a dirty boy ?

 

Know one on here knows my MM. You can say he doesn't deserve this or that me or her, but you do not know him. He is a super sweet man and who always puts my concerns first before his. No, I'm sure he doesn't want to let anyone down and thats probably why he is still with her.

 

As mature as it is not. Most men either wait to get caught or act like a complete Ahole when they want to break off a relationship. Most men will not go straight to the W and say Hey, btw..I am deeply involved in an ER and very confused on what I want to do.

 

Here's the thing. You are so proud he shows you this side of him he doesn't show his wife. Think about it though. He loves and respects his wife. He wants to be happy and sober when she comes home. He loves and respects his wife he doesn't want to use her as afternoon porn entertainment when he has off. It's not that his wife is a prude he acts differently. He acts differently because he loves and respects her and is not proud of his need for so much self pleasure. He doesn't want to tell his wife his need to jerk off five times a day and then make love with her at night.

 

Do you think he respects you?

[vweb1218]

Here's the thing. You are so proud he shows you this side of him he doesn't show his wife. Think about it though. He loves and respects his wife. He wants to be happy and sober when she comes home. He loves and respects his wife he doesn't want to use her as afternoon porn entertainment when he has off. It's not that his wife is a prude he acts differently. He acts differently because he loves and respects her and is not proud of his need for so much self pleasure. He doesn't want to tell his wife his need to jerk off five times a day and then make love with her at night.

 

Do you think he respects you?

 

First of all if he loved her he would not need to talk to me 20+ hours a week..

 

He would not think I died if we didn't chat for 3 days.

 

 

ME: what is the worst/boring part of your life right now

 

Him "Trying to be SOMEONE I'm not " !! and I know he wasn't talking about his job that he has worked for a long long time !

 

And you don't know if she is a prude or not..

 

Who the F do you think you are anyway.. Dr. Phil ??

Edited May 18, 2011 by vweb1218

[greengoddess]

First of all if he loved her he would not need to talk to me 20+ hours a week..

 

He would not think I died if we didn't chat for 3 days.

 

 

ME: what is the worst/boring part of your life right now

 

Him "Trying to be SOMEONE I'm not " !! and I know he wasn't talking about his job that he has worked for a long long time !

 

And you don't know if she is a prude or not..

 

Who the F do you think you are anyway.. Dr. Phil ??

 

Does he talk to you when he is home bored and his wife is not around?

[waytogo]

Does he talk to you when he is home bored and his wife is not around?

 

Green, I think this one is just too lost. Even IF this mm, married of 2 months had anything, he wouldn't even have an alimony issue.

 

On top, he's not going to get much to offer anyone ever being, (her words) a dayboozer and a gambler. This is what she has decided she is worth. She wants to believe you or anyone is jealous of being the cybo-side to this, coughing, 'winner'. Maybe we should all just leave her to this amazing bliss.

[vweb1218]

Vweb, I think you said you are 37? Really think here. He isn't 'dayboozing' because of her. He is doing it because he is a dayboozer. He may stop drinking by evening because of her. Is that a bad thing?

 

With you, he would likely keep drinking thru the night, as you'll take him anyway he comes.

 

Also, you say he's only showed her this conservative side to match hers. You either like or tollerate the 'bad boys'. What if he ain't so bad afterall. Just a drunk (do I need to tell you what excessive drinking or drugs do to a man's performance?) What's exciting about being with a person who is not motivated to do anything but drink until passing out? What else is bad boy about him? He touches himself behind his W's back? Does he have any cool lay in on the line hobbies? Rockclimbing, repelling, motorcycles, driving race cars. I'm guessing no. Those activities are usually done in the day time; and require sobriety (barring a death wish).

 

I agree with the other poster. If you are so close, why do you have to WISH you could send him anything you'd like him to read? Actually, you have the ability to send it to him. Are you afraid you he won't see it the same as you do, when you two are 'just alike'?

 

 

Wow, He is not that much of a drinker!! I am a social drinker just the same as him.

 

No, he is adventurous but does not have any of these hobbies on the regular !!

 

He is neither good or bad !! He is a combo, like most people.

 

I wouldn't have a problem with him being conservative If I thought he truly was or if he didn't constantly tell me he needs more adventure and fun !!

 

He does not drink to the point of passing out, and if so VERY rarely !! AND doesn't do anything (are you serious) this man works two almost full-time jobs, and just finished his degree and still makes crazy time for me.. How is that nothing ???

 

What does your MM do ?

[vweb1218]

Green, I think this one is just too lost. Even IF this mm, married of 2 months had anything, he wouldn't even have an alimony issue.

 

On top, he's not going to get much to offer anyone ever being, (her words) a dayboozer and a gambler. This is what she has decided she is worth. She wants to believe you or anyone is jealous of being the cybo-side to this, coughing, 'winner'. Maybe we should all just leave her to this amazing bliss.

 

Yes !! Sometimes we do chat when W is around and he is bored....

I usually tell him I gotta go, swearing he is trying to get caught..

 

Don't lie, you would never leave me !!!

[waytogo]

Wow, He is not that much of a drinker!! I am a social drinker just the same as him.

 

No, he is adventurous but does not have any of these hobbies on the regular !!

 

He is neither good or bad !! He is a combo, like most people.

 

I wouldn't have a problem with him being conservative If I thought he truly was or if he didn't constantly tell me he needs more adventure and fun !!

 

He does not drink to the point of passing out, and if so VERY rarely !! AND doesn't do anything (are you serious) this man works two almost full-time jobs, and just finished his degree and still makes crazy time for me.. How is that nothing ???

 

What does your MM do ?

 

The drinking was what you wrote about him.

So if he's an adventurer, or conservative, either is fine with you. Either is fine, if you get any kind of attention. You don't even know what you want, other than being observed in anyway.

 

MY MM? He is married to me. I go to sleep with and wake up with him everyday. No cyber, no need. The real thing everyday. That is what I hope for everyone, even you. I can't understand the way you are going about this.