t0ri Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Every now and then, my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years will buy me a couple articles of clothing, or give me small amounts of money to gamble with when we go to the casino. I'm so very appreciative of his generosity, and I never EVER ask for or expect anything from him. Problem is, he tends to throw his buying me a shirt, or giving me fourty dollars, or whatever it may be, in my face when we get in fights. It hasn't happened a lot, but it has happened enough to where I don't want to accept gifts from him. He offered to take me shopping tonight, and I politely declined. He asked why, and I told him the truth. I just feel like it's more of something to use against me or something, than a genuine gift. He got very upset and was not the least bit understanding of where I was coming from. He was offended and began saying I think his gifts weren't good enough and I was making him feel bad when he just enjoys buying me things. I decided to go home for the night. (I was at his apartment where we were about to go to a friend's). I don't feel like I did anything wrong. I don't need his gifts, but I appreciate them - just not that he finds them to be something to throw in my face later. I don't understand that. I didn't mean to offend him, or make it seem like his gifts aren't good enough, or I don't appreciate them! I just didn't want him to take me shopping and then hear about it later. I didn't think it was cool how mad he got about the whole thing, without being the least bit understanding, and then when I said, "maybe I should leave," he says, "K BYE!!!", then goes to a friend's apartment and gets drunk without solving anything with me. I dunno what I'm asking for. Thoughts?
nyc_guy2003 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I think you're right and he's wrong, and I'm a guy. If he doesn't come around to his senses that's his fault.
chuckles11 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 none of that says what the fights are about. Agreed, it would be helpful to know what you two argue about so that we have some idea why he might feel that buying gifts is relevant to the argument.
Rinnix Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I would have said the same thing. If he's going to throw the fact that he buys you nice things in your face, it's not worth accepting the gifts at all. If anything, those statements scratch out the sincerity of the gifts in the first place. Let him cool off, he may come to his senses later.
mr.dream merchant Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 he says, "K BYE!!!", then goes to a friend's apartment and gets drunk Lmao! Win.
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