ringo0206 Posted April 12, 2004 Posted April 12, 2004 Me and my girlfriend were going out for over a year and a half, and we both had feelings that we were meant for each other even though we were only 20 and 22. I had a smoking problem, and i don't mean cigarettes, that she didn't like, but she did do it with me sometimes. Not only did she have a problem, but so did her mom, and i was living with them. I ended up moving out, after about a year, back with my parents, since her mom didn't like my drug problem, and me and her mom stopped talking completely which put a lot of pressure on my ex and me. We were best friends for about 2 years before we started dating. Around december we broke up for a week, but we talked just about everyday and got back together. A few weeks later we broke up again, but this time i found someone a few days later, and started having sex with her right away even though i waited 5 months with the one i really loved. My ex called about 3 times for the 3 weeks that we were broke up, and i answered but wasn't very talkative. Then as i was walking through the mall with my new girlfriend, my ex came up to say hi, but we both couldn't really talk since both of our hearts stopped. I broke up with the rebound girl and told my ex the truth that i had had sex with the girl. My ex and me got back together, but i don't think that she could forget me for what i had done. For the 2 months we were together we played around but didn't have sex, which i told her didn't bother me. About 2 months after getting back together, she broke up with me for another guy. I sent her text messages but she wouldn't respond. Finally i wrote her a letter saying how special she was to me and wrote about all the things we had done. I left it in her car, and waited for her to respond. After a few hours i didn't get anything, so i took a flower and a card into her work and told her i need a response so i would know what is going on. She wrote back that "she read the letter, but we can't be friend, and that she was ready to move on". Ironically i walked right by her the next day with one of her friends. Her friend said hi to me, but she put her head down and away so she wouldn't have to look at me. I find it very hard to believe that she can completely hate me since she stayed friends with her ex, and i feel that i meant more to her then what he did, since she told me that she did have thoughts about marrying me before. After i saw her i felt so betrayed that i wasn't even worthy of a hello after all we had gone through. So i did something stupid. I called her and left a message saying she is fake and superficial, and i also said that i was the best that she could get since she said the same thing to me when we got back together after i had went out with someone. Do you think i should send her a text message saying sorry for the last thing i said to her. How long do you think it might be until she calls me to talk if she does want to talk. I really feel like she doesn't hate me, but that she's just very angry at me for what i did. It's been 3 weeks since i saw her, and my pain doesn't seem to be getting any better. I have a note that i want to send to her mom to apogolize for what happened between me and her since we were really good friends too before we went sour. Do you think i should send it, and if so, how long should i wait before i send it.
SoleMate Posted April 12, 2004 Posted April 12, 2004 Well...usually these post-breakup letters etc. are not worth the trouble. In this case, since you do have specific missteps to apologize for, I would go ahead and send your apologies to your ex and your mom. Just keep them short and to the point - "I'm sorry for <doing x>." Focus on what YOU did wrong and how sorry you are. No justifications, accusations, analysis, requests, or predictions. I am sure your ex doesn't hate you, but she has some powerful emotions that make it hard for her to look you in the face. Like anger, embarassment, memories of love...that stuff. Since your drug use appears to have played a role in your losing your girl, are you considering getting it under control?
Author ringo0206 Posted April 12, 2004 Author Posted April 12, 2004 so you think i should text her saying "i am sorry for the last text i sent you, i was just really hurt", do you think it would do anything? I want to get away from the drugs so bad just so i can prove to her that she is more important then what anything else in the world is. I never had a problem showing her this when we were with friends, but she always knew that drugs were more important. Do you think i should send the text now to her to apologize for what i last said, or maybe give it another month, which would be 2 months after we broke up, so that i can stop smoking and also note that to her? Do you think i shoud send the letter to her mom, if so, when. I have mixed feelings about sending her another text, because i think she should contact me if she wants to be friends, but she might have the feeling that i hate her considering i said something very mean the last time i contacted her.
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