Big Joey Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 A girl and I have gone back and forth now for about a month and finally met for a couple of drinks. Aside from a couple awkward moments between topics, it went well. About an hour and a half in, I went to the restroom and when I came back, she gestured that her drink was gone like it was time to go. When we parted ways I went for a handshake but she gave me a hug. We didn't talk about meeting up again or anything and she ended the date sort of abruptly, I admit. Before meeting, she had given me her number but I hadn't given her mine yet, so about an hour after the date I sent her a message just to give her my number with a lighthearted comment. No response yet, but this was earlier tonight. Contacting her so soon wasn't the best move, but if I hadn't, the only other way she would be able to contact me would be through the dating site and in my opinion once you have met a person it's lame to keep talking that way. Do you think this was a bad move on my part? To me, it is better that she now has my number in case she wants to contact... I won't have a reason to wonder if I don't hear back now.
SJC2008 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 The ball is still in your court even though you gave her your number. Give it a couple of days, then call her. Women are taught to let the man pursue so they rarely do. So since you have only had one date it's still on you.
Author Big Joey Posted May 13, 2011 Author Posted May 13, 2011 The ball is still in your court even though you gave her your number. Give it a couple of days, then call her. Women are taught to let the man pursue so they rarely do. So since you have only had one date it's still on you. I would agree, but I sent her a funny message with my number, so it is up her to reply to that (which she hasn't done).
Jimmyson Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Girls don't like guys who play games, you should have just given her your number when she gave hers to you. Why did you have to be so awkward it could quite possibly backfire on you now chap and no offence but it is your own fault. Also, you say a few topics between you was a bit... why did you go into such deep depth topics so early?
Author Big Joey Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 Girls don't like guys who play games, you should have just given her your number when she gave hers to you. Why did you have to be so awkward it could quite possibly backfire on you now chap and no offence but it is your own fault. Also, you say a few topics between you was a bit... why did you go into such deep depth topics so early? She gave me her number online in an email like an hour before we met. Either way she would have gotten my number after the fact... and after meeting face to face, a text is better than online message. Why did I have to be so awkward? Deep depth topics? What? Thank you for your wonderful insight. To continue this, I did get a nice message back from her. I also noticed she checked my profile the day after we met (or later that night if it was after midnight). Not reading into it, but I am curious about that. Did she just want to take another look, or ??
USCGAviator Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 She has your number now so just carry on, and if she contacts you then great.
Pfiend101 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 She has your number now so just carry on, and if she contacts you then great. Agreed. Contact her in about 2 days if you don't hear from her after that. Just move on bro. There is plenty of fish in the sea.
sagetalk Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Just get it over with. If you don't hear from her in a few days call her. Ask her out again. If she doesn't pick up, leave a message about wanting to get together again soon. If she doesn't call back or say yes move on. Sadly, this is the process most people must go through.
refurb Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Honesty works sometimes too. I was doing the online dating thing, had a great first date, but the second date was only OK, she didn't seem interested. So, I sent her an email that said "I had a great time, I really enjoy our conversations, but I got the impression that you weren't that interested in going any further. If so, no problem. Either way let me know." I never expected a reply, but a day later she emailed me and said "I really enjoyed our conversations as well and would like to see you again. I've made some mistakes in the past and I'd like to take things slow." Turned out to be a great girl, we went out a number of times after that before I moved away. So my answer is, be up front with her. RF
alethean Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I also noticed she checked my profile the day after we met (or later that night if it was after midnight). Not reading into it, but I am curious about that. Did she just want to take another look, or ?? It means exactly what you think it means.
Author Big Joey Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 (edited) I ended up asking her out again earlier this week. She was busy during the week but said she'd be into it, so she said maybe the weekend (a great sign in my book). We went back and forth and she suggested a day, so I suggested a time, and it's been 2 or 3 days with no response. Not super hung up on her or anything, but she was good looking and has a good mind. If I don't hear anything, should I touch base again? I'm thinking no. I've played it cool so far... haven't contacted her much or even complimented her really haha... but she knows I'm interested. BTW she deleted her dating profile BEFORE I asked her out this second time and she agreed to go out again. In some ways it's a good sign, but also leaves more questions. Edited May 27, 2011 by Big Joey
sanskrit Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 Great job getting out there and doing well on your first net date. You did fine, did nothing wrong. She simply isn't interested. The drink thing was mildly rude on her part but no biggie. On to other options, would leave this one be.
Kampo Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 One thing I see alot of people new to online dating do is prolong the chat phase way to long. If I think I click with someone online I'm normally going to ask for there number have a convo then at the end of that first convo ask for a date. typically I never spend more than a day or 2 talking to someone online. prolonging it wastes both peoples time since online chemistry while you can get an idea of who they are "on paper" but you don't know who they are till you meet them in person and if there is any real chemistry.
oaks Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 BTW she deleted her dating profile BEFORE I asked her out this second time and she agreed to go out again. In some ways it's a good sign, but also leaves more questions. Great, so ask those questions! At least you have one conversation topic for your next date... "I went to look again at your profile but I couldn't see it. Have you deleted it?"
Recommended Posts