shadowofman Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I never want children, but that being said, I'll date anyone with or without children. I'll never be the daddy though.
musemaj11 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 (edited) No man with options would want a single mother. Not that I have anything against single mothers. But the fact is most men do find single mothers less desirable. Edited May 13, 2011 by musemaj11
oaks Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Would you consider dating a single mom? Yes I would consider it, although so far I haven't tried it and I'm not a father myself so my child experience is low. My main concern (remembering that I know nothing about children) would be whether the woman had time for dating or a relationship. I'm in my late 30s.
Woggle Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 It would depend on the circumstances. I would have to ask why is she a single mother and if it is for a good reason I would give her a chance. If it is because she broke a family over an affair with another man or the need to find herself then hell no. If she chose to become a single mom then she has said loud and clear how she really feels about men so that would be a dealbreaker.
thatone Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 never have, told myself i never would. but recently met someone who is just eerily similar in interests and background, so was too tempted to not try and see. been talking back and forth for a week and supposed to meet up next week. i'm 34. fwiw, if there was more than one child, i would've said no. if the child was younger than 5, would have also said no. i only have facebook pics to go by but the child seems to be 8-10 years old. we shall see.
Pyro Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 29 here. I would, but depending on certain circumstances. If she is looking for someone to support her and her kid(s) financially then no way. Also if the relationship between her and the kids father is anything reality TVish then it wouldn't be worth the hassle.
Ginger Beer Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I'm 22, no way. Wouldn't want to have anything to do with a child that isn't mine. Sounds cold but that's the way it is.
nyc_guy2003 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Early 30s and married, but if I was single I would not be interested in single moms for the following reasons: -While the mom would give you her attention and interest, you will never be the top priority in her life. -Don't want to take care of kids that came from someone else's sperm. -The kids will never have the same relationship with me that they have with their real dad. -You would have to deal with the real dad from time to time. -There are too many "real world" probably that come with dating someone with kids, like having to schedule around a babysitter, having to pretend you like children, having quiet sex while the kids are sleeping in the other room, etc.
Andy_K Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I probably would if I was single, but then I've got one with my ex so I guess that is only fair. That said, she'd have to be awesome because I'd definitely rather date a girl without kids, and I still probably wouldn't date anyone with more than one, harsh as that may seem.
Titania22 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I only wanted to respond to this post, as to point out to alot of you that you are making alot of assumptions about the mums and the kids. I use only my own situation as an example, to show that not all single mums have the same circumstance. Early 30s and married, but if I was single I would not be interested in single moms for the following reasons: -While the mom would give you her attention and interest, you will never be the top priority in her life. While it is true that for many years the kids have been the top priority in my life and still are to some extent, I am keenly aware that in a half dozen years they will both be adults. I am currently in the situation, where my kids are becoming teenagers, and thus are developing their own personal lives that don't involve me, likewise I have to think about my future, whether they stay living at home or not is besides the point, because most of my time is my own, and this will just increase. -Don't want to take care of kids that came from someone else's sperm. My kids don't need someone else to take care of them, they need to learn how to take care of themselves. -The kids will never have the same relationship with me that they have with their real dad. Firstly, I should hope not, their dad is a psychopath. Secondly, the only possible relationship they should have with any man I would be seeing, is one of friendship. -You would have to deal with the real dad from time to time. Actually I don't deal with their dad, they have their own phones, they deal with him, and tell me when they are seeing him, I don't even go to the front door if he is there, and now he is working in another state, all i need to do is take them to the airport and pick them up again. Understandly if either of them ever get married, then i might have to be in the same room as him for a few hours, but that is a big if, and many years away (fingers crossed) -There are too many "real world" probably that come with dating someone with kids, like having to schedule around a babysitter, having to pretend you like children, having quiet sex while the kids are sleeping in the other room, etc. They don't need a babysitter, and what's wrong with having sex at your place (I assume you have one). From the posts here, I see an assumption that either the kids are young, or they are grown up and moved out. I just wanted to be a voice for the middle time.
musemaj11 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 If she is looking for someone to support her and her kid(s) financially then no way. You bet she is.
MrNate Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 You bet she is. C'mon now muse. Surely there's some out there, but the single mothers I do know work fairly hard to support themselves. Again there's that minority that do look to mooch, but I would venture to say most don't fall in that category.
Imajerk17 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 (edited) No... You just will be forced to give up dating jerkoffs. Nice guys don't care if you have kids. I disagree. Or should I say, I agree with what you wrote, but not with what I think you meant to say. Many guys, including myself, would run from a single mom. On some level, they are thinking that after she was "knocking it out" with Bad Boy, she wants a Nice Guy to provide for and help raise their kids with her. That is a losing proposition. Why would a guy want to be putting so much work to helping to pass on another man's genes? You might be willing to, Untouchable, because you're a Nice Guy. But I sure as hell am not. To the OP, if you do want to date again, you might want to go for single dads. Those are the ones who are most likely to be receptive. I also would make it a point of stressing that you are NOT looking for someone to support you and your kids. You want a companion for you. That will give you your best shot. Good luck. Edited May 13, 2011 by Imajerk17
musemaj11 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 C'mon now muse. Surely there's some out there, but the single mothers I do know work fairly hard to support themselves. Again there's that minority that do look to mooch, but I would venture to say most don't fall in that category. Women dont stop being women just because they have kids, Mr.Nate. Granted that most of the times single mothers dont get to pick the cream of crop, but they will still jump to the guy who will offer to support her and her kid if she has that option.
MrNate Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Women dont stop being women just because they have kids, Mr.Nate. Granted that most of the times single mothers dont get to pick the cream of crop, but they will still jump to the guy who will offer to support her and her kid if she has that option. Surely it can't be this simple though. What about things like attraction, compatibility, and a plethora of other things. Surely a woman who is hopeful for the future wouldn't give ALL of this up, just for the sake of being supported?
Sith Apprentice Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 It's the perfect set up for the Alpha Male jerk. You knock up some dumb broad and then she gets some beta male provider to foot the bill and raise his offspring into adulthood while your genetic line dies out. She lusts for the jerk while seeing you as nothing, but a wallet. No thanks
Tybalt Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 It's a completely understandable preference for a man to prefer to date women without children. On the plus side, a woman with a child offers a view into the type of mother she is. And from what I have experienced in dating as a single mother, certain men seem to have raised their respect level for me as a result of my parenting style/choices. Granted, I only have one child and he physically resembles me quite closely, which psychologically I suspect may be more palatable for a man. I think a person's confidence level and emotional security has far greater impact on desirability (for many people) than the fact that the person has a child. I'm quite happy at the moment and have no shortage of dates. In fact, I have been dating men that I would have thought were "out of my league" years ago, and that was before my child came along. I do have a lot of responsibility. I suspect that because I care for myself emotionally and financially, perhaps it is less threatening to some men to know that I am stable and not looking for anyone to fill a void, give me strength I don't have, or complete me somehow. As a single mom I feel I've proved to myself I am self sufficient, if that makes sense, and I think that projects outward to others.
musemaj11 Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Surely it can't be this simple though. What about things like attraction, compatibility, and a plethora of other things. Surely a woman who is hopeful for the future wouldn't give ALL of this up, just for the sake of being supported? Man, even without any kid most women would jump to the opportunity of having a man who will support them financially. So that certainly would be an even much more attractive opportunity if she had dependents.
MrNate Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 It's the perfect set up for the Alpha Male jerk. You knock up some dumb broad and then she gets some beta male provider to foot the bill and raise his offspring into adulthood while your genetic line dies out. She lusts for the jerk while seeing you as nothing, but a wallet. No thanks Wtf kind of dynamic is this? I'm wondering why the 'beta male' would even agree to these types of terms. It almost sounds like this 'beta' has no mind of it's own and will willing accept any type of female that comes his way. c'mon..
Dust Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Wtf kind of dynamic is this? I'm wondering why the 'beta male' would even agree to these types of terms. It almost sounds like this 'beta' has no mind of it's own and will willing accept any type of female that comes his way. c'mon.. When you date a woman with kids you are supposed to date up. That means get a barging you wouldn’t normally be able to get. Like a girl who has her **** together in looks etc. Still even with that promise I don’t think I could date a mother. (that wasn’t the mother of my children)
Jynxx Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Wtf kind of dynamic is this? I'm wondering why the 'beta male' would even agree to these types of terms. It almost sounds like this 'beta' has no mind of it's own and will willing accept any type of female that comes his way. c'mon.. Well, that's sort of the definition of a beta male The opposite of Alpha male. In modern society an Alpha male not only requires physical prowess, but also confidence and attitude. The Beta male of modern society usually, only has one of these traits, if any. The Beta male tends to be smart, quiet and unconfrontational. If lucky, beta males can get a hot chick once in her 30's, after she's tired of ****ing the Alpha Males, and decides to settle down with a beta male for money and stability. Alpha Males get everything, Beta Males get the left overs. It's a little thing called "Life"..
Kaplan Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 I wouldn't date women who have kids because when you start a relationship with someone who has kids you also start a relationship with their kids. And relationships don't last, so you end up becoming a temporary father-figure for the kids and then put them through a great deal of loss when you leave. That's my perspective. I don't think that makes me any less of a nice guy. (I'm 26)
Pyro Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 You bet she is. I thank God everyday that I am not cynical and pessimistic like you.
musemaj11 Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 I thank God everyday that I am not cynical and pessimistic like you. Most single women are happy enough to just have a man taking interest in them. But if she can get a guy who is more than able to and is willing to support her, she definitely wont refuse especially if she doesnt have the best career herself. I would consider being with a single mom only if she were some successful career woman.
Eve Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 No... You just will be forced to give up dating jerkoffs. Nice guys don't care if you have kids. I like this attitude.. Take care, Eve x
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