cdeyoung Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 You know, me and my ex girlfriend broke up last month on the 10th, but ever since, I had problems. Problems in my every day life, like I drank more for about the first three weeks, ate very unhealthily and pretty much gave up on myself. Well, the last two weeks have been great - I've started working out and even got into a gym, and I have been trying to get my mind off of her, but I just can't. The reason we broke up is because, well... I really don't know the reason. She was saying I was a control freak (well, really, if I was a control freak how would she have cheated on me?) and that I wasn't the person I used to be. In all honesty, I don't think I was very controlling. I had my moments, but nothing she couldn't have fixed. The reason for the "controlling" to an extent was because she cheated on her ex boyfriend and that caused some trust issues from the get go. She cheated on me with her ex (who is now her current boyfriend) and they now live together in a HOUSE they JUST bought (he bought the house) and she is now apparently pregnant with his child, and they are having a house warming party. Me, her and the ex are all 20. And I have been feeling like crap pretty much ever since I heard about that tonight. I feel useless to an extent, I feel like I couldn't give her what she needed/wanted, etc. We lived at my parent's house the entire relationship, and I'm still living here. I just don't understand how she could suddenly go back with a guy she broke up with after four months of being with him, and proclaim she's "happy" and "madly in love with him". I am confused... and heartbroken at the same time. I need a drink. I was such a good man to her, I treated her so good... did so much for her, my family loved her like family, and she did this. I'm in so much ****ing pain....
rayne05us Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 She cheated on you....SHE ended it...Give yourself some time and recover from this and then finde someone who will appreciate you and is an honest person...I was cheated on and I insisted we try to work it out. It was a huge mistake, because I was always thinking about it and was making myself miserable. And you know what? Now I make MYSELF happy!! That's what's most important. We wake up every day and we have the CHOICE to be happy or not. I choose happy. So now, I only allow people in my life that will support me or I can learn from them...F**K everybody else. It's not worth my time and regardless of who I'm dating etc...I WILL LET NO ONE DRAG ME DOWN WITH THEM....and I hope you do the same ) Best of luck to you!!
TheStylist Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 How long have you been together and why did she break up with her ex in the first place? Is it because of you? Did you feel her love the entire time you were together? I meant, the genuine kind of love? Or you feel like it was always you who did most of the work or effort in the relationship?
Author cdeyoung Posted May 13, 2011 Author Posted May 13, 2011 How long have you been together and why did she break up with her ex in the first place? Is it because of you? Did you feel her love the entire time you were together? I meant, the genuine kind of love? Or you feel like it was always you who did most of the work or effort in the relationship? Well, she did effort, too. But me, I put the most into the relationship. I'm the one who always wanted to work things out, who wanted to change to make things better. She on the other hand did not as much.
rayne05us Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 It's really that easy, I promise....once you get the ball rolling you won't want to stop and it will put ALOT into perspective for you.
Chi townD Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 (edited) The best revenge is living well. You're 20 y/o and living at home. Not unheard of at your age, but are you being proactive about moving out? I would suggest getting into school and getting your degree. Start out in whatever carreer field you choose and be successful. Start a new life with a new carreer and a new car living in, say a very nice townhouse of your own and taking vacations and trips to places you always wanted to go on. Meanwhile, she's living with a guy she barely knows of 4 months and carrying his child. Then start to resent each other because they never have the opportunity to enjoy being young and will resent each other for being tied down at such a young age. I don't see them lasting but they will always be linked to each other because of that kid. I think you dodged a bullet and you have soooo many opportunities ahead of you. You have sooo many doors in front of you that open up to opportunities. And then one day SHE'S going to hear about how successful and happy you are and she's stuck in her place with the kids and she can't keep that guy at home because he's out partying it up with his friends. See...revenge can happen! Find that motivation and make it happen! Edited May 13, 2011 by Chi townD
TheStylist Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Chi townd nailed it! Exactly! In fact, you have to be thankful that she's out of your life. You deserve so much more. Basing on her actions, she's still very immature and a messed up, too. Why would you want to be with someone whom you can never trust? cheated both on her ex and you? Look at her, do you still want that kinda girl who went back straightly to her ex after she got out from your door? Isn't she too dirty? Can you imagine someone you love the most is shared by other guy(s)? I dont want to judge her but this kinda people infuriate me so much. They dont know how to respect people's feelings. If they're not sure in the relationship, then they can always be honest about it so their partner wont expect too much, worst wont invest all his emotions into the relationship. You're blessed you're out of this sick relationship or you'll be in unending rollercoaster ride from hell! The fact that she cheated on her ex is enough red flag in the first place. Respect, trust and peace of mind are the most important things in any relationship. Dont worry, they will never have a happy marriage. Trust me. Its just a matter of time. So for now, focus with your great life! Show them how pathetic they are, both trap with each other's stupidities. Ya, the other guy is too stupid for taking back the girl, duh..
Author cdeyoung Posted May 14, 2011 Author Posted May 14, 2011 (edited) After pretty much sending her raging messages all day, calling her names, threatening to beat up her man... I sat down, looked at the phone and just thought, "What's the use?". Honestly... I just gave up. No more phone calls, no more texting, no more FB messages, nothing. I just give up. She's living with that guy at his house, I sort of feel bad for him in a sense. She cheated on him... then she cheated on me WITH him... obviously that raises some flags. Chances are, she will cheat again at some point in the future. And even if she doesn't, their relationship will never last simply because their relationship only lasted for four months prior to her bailing on him. Not only that but she was rude, bitchy and immature. I hope one day she changes. If she does, I would be more than willing to give it another shot. But that won't be for years. I loved that woman unconditionally, I stayed by her through thick and thin and being the love blinded idiot I was, I even wanted to work through the cheating and wanted to make it work... but she just didn't want to. For some reason she just didn't want to be with me. She said I was "too controlling". She said she used me for sex and a place to live, as pathetic and sleazy as that sounds. That's probably the only thing she's using her new boyfriend for, too. Edited May 14, 2011 by cdeyoung
Desensitized Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 After pretty much sending her raging messages all day, calling her names, threatening to beat up her man... I sat down, looked at the phone and just thought, "What's the use?". Honestly... I just gave up. No more phone calls, no more texting, no more FB messages, nothing. I just give up. She's living with that guy at his house, I sort of feel bad for him in a sense. She cheated on him... then she cheated on me WITH him... obviously that raises some flags. Chances are, she will cheat again at some point in the future. And even if she doesn't, their relationship will never last simply because their relationship only lasted for four months prior to her bailing on him. Not only that but she was rude, bitchy and immature. I hope one day she changes. If she does, I would be more than willing to give it another shot. But that won't be for years. I loved that woman unconditionally, I stayed by her through thick and thin and being the love blinded idiot I was, I even wanted to work through the cheating and wanted to make it work... but she just didn't want to. For some reason she just didn't want to be with me. She said I was "too controlling". She said she used me for sex and a place to live, as pathetic and sleazy as that sounds. That's probably the only thing she's using her new boyfriend for, too. no offense, but she sounds like a grade A slut. You sure did dodge a bullet here, my friend. Just focus on improving yourself and her time will come Best of luck.
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