LoveTrapped Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Okay, so here's the story: I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months, from the beginning I've felt like there was something missing but I dismissed it. I truly do love my boyfriend, he's the perfect guy... for the most part. He's just super jealous and I've had to rid my life of all of my guy friends. I'm the type of girl who likes to hang out with guys rather than girls. I have one girl friend, and that's pretty much it. Now, I have stayed in contact with a few of my guy friends, simply because it just doesn't seem right that I should have to get rid of my friends for a relationship. Especially when, for the most part, it's innocent. But here's the kicker: I've cheated on my boyfriend twice with my ex. The first time being about a month into the relationship and the second just last night. I dated my ex four years ago. He was the one who took my virginity, so there's always been a sort of bond. We've had little flings here and there over the years, usually when I'm single. However, this past summer, before I started dating my current boyfriend, me and my ex had a pretty serious thing going on... but at the time he wasn't ready for commitment, and of course after I got into a relationship he was. Last night just through everything into a loop. I spent the night with my best friend, who is my ex's sister. We were hanging out most of us were drinking, except my best friend (she's pregnant and just went to bed early). I ended up pretty drunk, but I knew what was going on, and I ended up in the bed with my ex. Yes, I spent the entire night in the bed with him and for some reason it just felt right. I love the kid with all my heart, and when I'm with him I don't even think about my boyfriend. I don't even feel guilty. I felt more guilty when I kissed my boyfriend today when he picked me up from my best friend's house. So my question is.. am I just screwed in the head? I know it's wrong, I know that I'm a horrible girlfriend and I should just tell him. But, I just can't... is it wrong that I don't feel guilty about cheating? Or that I do feel guilty for kissing my boyfriend because I feel like I'm cheating myself in this.
Chi townD Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Wow, that's pretty cruel. So, you're boyfriend is the jealous type. I don't blame him! YOU CHEATED ON HIM A MONTH INTO THE RELATIONSHIP!!! I think you've given him every reason not to trust you. Yeah...Yeah..." He doesn't know that I've cheated on him." Trust me, he knows something went down. You say you love your boyfriend which is BS. You don't have the first clue what love is. You think I'm wrong? You just did something that will completely rip his heart out and you don't feel guilt or remorse about it, someone that was in love WOULD feel those things. Break up with your boyfriend. He deserves better. And you say that your scared to tell him. No guts huh? You had the guts to cheat on him, but no guts to tell him THAT you cheated on him. Here's how I see this going down. You're gonna break up with him and tell him it's because of his jealousy and he's smothering you. And you shouldn't have to sacrifice friends for him.....blah...blah....basically making it all his fault. Oh, and your Ex knows that your in a committed relationship and he still sleeps with you. Yeah, that douche Rocket is a keeper. Be honest and tell him so he can get away from you as fast as he can.
Author LoveTrapped Posted May 13, 2011 Author Posted May 13, 2011 Good grief I already knew I'm screwed up. And my ex isn't bad.. yeah he knows I'm in a committed relationship, but he also doesn't push the issue. If I don't want to do anything I don't have to. I know this sounds so typical.
Chi townD Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Noooo...you Ex isn't bad...just no moral compass whatsoever! A good man; a REAL man would have said, " You know what? We can't do this, you're with someone." What this shows me is that he has no respect for your relationship;hence, he has no respect for you. Just what he can get from you. So, the question is. Are you gonna tell your BF that you've been cheating on him?
Bryanp Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 How would you feel if your boyfriend was doing to you what you are doing to him? What you need to do is tell you boyfriend what has happened twice now and allow him to decide if he wishes to continue to work on this relationship with you. What you are doing to your boyfriend is very very cruel and you are making him look like a fool. This is not all about you. If the roles were reversed wouldn't you want your boyfriend to be honest with you? For you to continue to say that you are in a committed relationship is a joke. You should not play people the way you are doing. Do the right thing and be honest with your boyfriend and let the chips fall where they may. Stop being such a deceitful person. Nobody deserves to be played liked a fool the way you are playing your boyfriend.
John Michael Kane Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 How would you feel if your boyfriend was doing to you what you are doing to him? What you need to do is tell you boyfriend what has happened twice now and allow him to decide if he wishes to continue to work on this relationship with you. What you are doing to your boyfriend is very very cruel and you are making him look like a fool. This is not all about you. If the roles were reversed wouldn't you want your boyfriend to be honest with you? For you to continue to say that you are in a committed relationship is a joke. You should not play people the way you are doing. Do the right thing and be honest with your boyfriend and let the chips fall where they may. Stop being such a deceitful person. Nobody deserves to be played liked a fool the way you are playing your boyfriend. Lady you are really immature. Go back to your old flame so your BF can be truly happy with someone else.
Memphis Raines Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 But here's the kicker: I've cheated on my boyfriend twice with my ex. then do right by your bf and set him free from you. So my question is.. am I just screwed in the head? if you don't set your bf free, then yes. I know it's wrong, I know that I'm a horrible girlfriend and I should just tell him. But, I just can't... is it wrong that I don't feel guilty about cheating? yes, its wrong that you don't feel guilty and you should set your bf free so he can find a decent girl. women like you are the reason I tend to stay away from committed relationships.
stace79 Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 First of all, your commitment phobic ex is only screwing you now b/c he knows you are in a R with someone else. Once you end things with your bf, he will suddenly not be ready to be in a relationship again. Second, yes, you are messed up in the head. You have no idea what love is. You don't even know what respect is either. Third, yes, please for the love of God break up with your boyfriend. He deserves infinitely better.
jnj express Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 IMHO---stop your relationship with your BF---you obviously really could care less about him--- Do not start another relationship till you get all this out of your system I don't know how old you are probably around 21, or 22---don't get into anything serious till you are 26 or older---sow all your wild oats, and be done with it You just can't go around cheating while you are in a relationship---either you are really immature, or you just have no feelings---I don't care how bad your BF, was to you---if he finds out, he is gonna be in pain, and you will make him despise other women, in his future, who are innocent, and don't deserve what he will do to them, cuz of what you are doing to him Leave, and just be single, till you are ready for one, and one only relationship
g450 Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 I agree with everyone here. You are too immature to be in a commited relationship. Just be the player that you appear to be and stop playing games with peoples hearts. You might also want to consider counselling.
Author LoveTrapped Posted May 19, 2011 Author Posted May 19, 2011 Well, we broke up. And it looks like neither of us were ready for the relationship. He had been cheating on me with another girl as well. Both of us confessed and just decided it would be best to break things off. Now I'm just being single until I am ready. As much as I hated to be called immature, I realize that I am. I'm not ready to put myself in a relationship, I'm too much of a flight risk. In the end, all of the negativity I got from all of you has helped. Thanks for being jerks! It really helped. (:
stace79 Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 I am glad you guys broke up. Now maybe you can work on yourself and your own issues. Maybe we are jerks about it, but you have to admit that knowingly cheating on a guy is cruel and immature. There is nothing at all wrong with being single. If you don't want to be tied down to one person, if you want to have as many male friends as you want with no interference, if you want to do your own thing and not be accountable to anyone else, then so be it. There is nothing wrong with doing that. I just hate when people think they have to be in a relationship, but then still act as if they're not. Good luck.
JohnnyCage Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 In the end, all of the negativity I got from all of you has helped. Thanks for being jerks! It really helped. (: So what did you expect? People should pat you on the back for a good job done? Cheating scumbags seriously!!!!
Memphis Raines Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 In the end, all of the negativity I got from all of you has helped. of course it did. because we were right. funny how its negativity when the words were spot on. Thanks for being jerks! time for me to break out that really tiny violin.
ladyinlimbo Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 I truly do love my boyfriend, he's the perfect guy... for the most part. He's just super jealous ....well apparently with good reason, given that you've been cheating with your ex. I've had to rid my life of all of my guy friends Oh but then you write...... Now, I have stayed in contact with a few of my guy friends, simply because it just doesn't seem right that I should have to get rid of my friends for a relationship. Hmm, seems you can't even WRITE the truth to us here? Especially when, for the most part, it's innocent. ....well, except for the part where you've been cheating with your ex. Just how "innocent" is that? Um, not innocent at all. Stop being selfish and end things with your current BF. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You admittedly feel NO REMORSE for phocking around with your ex, oh it just "feels so right" -- so much so that you don't even think about your current BF whilst doing it. Aren't you a peach of a girlfriend. Your poor BF deserves to be with someone he can fully trust and it surely is not you. He also deserves to be with someone who will not put his health at risk be giving him an STD (the gift that keeps on giving) because they're sleeping around behind his back. Have some respect for yourself and your BF. Shameful!
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