NicoleM Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I notice this with my guy friends too why are they cowards when it comes to asking someone out or such cowards when someone confronts them and they do not respond back. Are all men like this??
CrestfallenNoMore Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Yes, and so are most women. Most people are conflict avoidant and conflict adverse. When you meet someone with the maturity and relationship skills to actually sit down and say "I need to talk to you about this issue because it's causing resentment" in a friend or partner, never let them go.
chuckles11 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I notice this with my guy friends too why are they cowards when it comes to asking someone out or such cowards when someone confronts them and they do not respond back. Are all men like this?? Well, lets think about this rationally. How many millions of people, in what ever country you live in, are in relationships? Of those relationships, what percentage of them do you think started because a man asked out a woman, and what percentage do you think started because a woman asked out a man? Finally, just out of curiosity, how many guys have you asked out during your life?
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I notice this with my guy friends too why are they cowards when it comes to asking someone out or such cowards when someone confronts them and they do not respond back. Are all men like this?? Well, I don't ask women out (or even talk to them for that matter) because I know they're not interested in me at all. If someone were to confront me, I'll respond if the situation is appropriate (i.e. I'm not getting into a fist fight over some trivial matter).
guy777 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Well, lets think about this rationally. How many millions of people, in what ever country you live in, are in relationships? Of those relationships, what percentage of them do you think started because a man asked out a woman, and what percentage do you think started because a woman asked out a man? Finally, just out of curiosity, how many guys have you asked out during your life? And once again. chuckles is in the short-grass. He's really getting it done off the tee today!
Stung Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I'm not sure what kind of conflict you are referring to, although I would agree that most people are conflict-avoidant to some degree. As for asking women out, don't you think it's understandable that that can be hard? Males are emotional creatures, just as females are, and similarly vulnerable to self-esteem issues. It can take a while to grow into the kind of confidence and healthy self-esteem that can handle repeated rejection. Have you ever asked out somebody you really liked, when you weren't sure whether they liked you? I have, and it was pretty nerve-wracking.
sanskrit Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I'm scared of sharks and being eaten alive by any animals, especially the type that would take you back to their lair and eat you a piece at a time. If blood started pouring down the walls of the house, I'd get out... really, really fast, without packing, and might even trample you, pets, even small children on the way. I sure as hell wouldn't go back in to save you. I might act like I was going in, but would kind of go real slow during that part until someone pulled me back by the arm and said "she's gone man, she's gone." I find some dolls mildly frightening.
fishtaco Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Is this a troll post or is NicoleM really this clueless?
Author NicoleM Posted May 13, 2011 Author Posted May 13, 2011 (edited) I got into a blow-out with one of my friends about something really stupid. I tried and call him to say I was sorry but it went to VM and when I messaged him on facebook he didn't respond back. I know he is mad but playing the silent treatment is really cowardly IMHO.I am not a troll so unless you do not have anything nice to say do not say anything at all and no I am not clueless! It is just an observation I see alot. Edited May 13, 2011 by NicoleM
chuckles11 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I am not a troll so unless you do not have anything nice to say do not say anything at all Maybe this is how he feels about talking to you right now.
sanskrit Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Perhaps sometimes it's wise to remain silent until tempers cool, so that we don't say anything truly damaging out of anger that we don't really mean? Have never understood why women I am involved with don't agree that "Let's drop this for now, think about it, then talk about it calmly tomorrow" is often a good idea... o wait, forgot about the drama junkie thing... never mind.
carhill Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 OP, does this have anything to do with the guy who bailed on you for the movies on Monday? I daresay most men can be a coward at some point in their lives, though few of us are ruled by cowardice. It's part of the human condition. For some people, men and women, it's easier to disengage instead of facing confrontation. Sometimes it's healthier too, depending on circumstances. If this is about the man in the prior post, IMO you said your piece, got it out there and now it's time to let it be. He is who he is and it's outside of your control.
Sabali Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 You know, sometimes we get so caught up into the behavior of men and women in the dating world that we sometimes forget about other important things going around in the world today. In the East, we will have the best NBA matchup we have had in years...Chicago Bulls against Miami Heat, baby!
Stung Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I find some dolls mildly frightening. Me too. OP, maybe he just wants some time to cool down and think about what he wants to say. A lot of people sometimes need a little emotional distance or they'll say something they regret.
SJC2008 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Well you'll never know because you are not a man. It's the mans job to do the asking, not the woman. So until you ask a bunch of men out, not just anyone, guys you like, to see how "easy" it is, don't call us cowards. A lot of women think men are steel curtains. In all honesty, were all the same, we get our feelings hurt just like women but in our culture men are not allowed to have feelings. It will always be that way. I takes me a lot of "man why didn't I ask her for her # " before getting fed up and just forcing myself to do it the next opportunity. Then the pattern repeats.
whichwayisup Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I notice this with my guy friends too why are they cowards when it comes to asking someone out or such cowards when someone confronts them and they do not respond back. Are all men like this?? Most men are like this. Most men do not like drama, emotions, confrontations, etc.. Men prefer things simple and IF there is an argument, it's dealt with quickly but on their terms, time frame. Most guys need to cool off and deal with things in their own way and If/When they're ready to talk, they will. Never force it otherwise the guy will head for the hills and clam up completely.
MrNate Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Maybe this is how he feels about talking to you right now. ..Seconded.
youaretheone Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Well, I would recommend you to put yourself in men's shoes before saying that. Imagine a world where you have the ultimate responsibility of asking a women out and reading her signs at the same time. Contrarily, the woman just sits there waiting for you to approach and has the opportunity to reject you with one word.
Jimmyson Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Some people are just naturally more shyer than others, and remember... nobody likes the feeling of rejection and maybe being told a no in the past has knocked the guys confidence back. Meeting a female not always but the vast majority of the time in pubs/clubs is not the best place due to alcohol and possibly drugs being present, many people say/do things unintentionally and then regret it.
Ross MwcFan Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I notice this with my guy friends too why are they cowards when it comes to asking someone out or such cowards when someone confronts them and they do not respond back. Are all men like this?? Why are some people brave? Why do people sometimes get upset? Why do we sometimes feel happy?
Jimmyson Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Why are some people brave? Why do people sometimes get upset? Why do we sometimes feel happy? Because everyone is different. Why are some men and females slags that go with anyone or anything? Why do the good ones have self respect and morals and understand relationships? Because of how you was brought up and who you knock about with has great effects.
thatone Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I notice this with my guy friends too why are they cowards when it comes to asking someone out or such cowards when someone confronts them and they do not respond back. Are all men like this?? because the ones who are your 'friends' are the ones who didn't ignore you when you ignored them. the ones who aren't cowards walked away and never looked back when they didn't get the response they were looking for.
Velociraptor Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Of those relationships, what percentage of them do you think started because a man asked out a woman, 100% and what percentage do you think started because a woman asked out a man? 0% Finally, just out of curiosity, how many guys have you asked out during your life? 0 (Yes I know I'm not the OP but it doesn't take an expert to figure out the answer to that question)
Taramere Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 (edited) such cowards when someone confronts them and they do not respond back. Are all men like this?? What kind of things are you feeling you need to confront your male friends about? If you regularly find yourself wanting to confront other people about things, and that they react by avoiding you, it might be time to rethink your approach. Oh okay...I read a bit more and see that you had an argument and then contacted your friend to say sorry, and he hasn't responded. He maybe feels that responding will result in the whole thing sparking up again. I'm with those who say that not everything has to be dealt with by confrontation or lengthy talk-out sessions. Edited May 13, 2011 by Taramere
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