College Kid In Love w/ Somebody I Can Rarely See

[shoey]

Hey guys and gals,

 

This is my first time on here, but I feel like its finally time I ask for advice from others on this one. Sorry if this end up being fairly long, just got a lot to say.

 

Alright, here are the facts:

-I just finished my first year of college

-She just finished her sophomore year of high school

-We have known each other for 2 years, and have been officially 'dating' for about six months

-Before we started dating, we felt affectionate for each other and nothing has really changed since we began dating

-My family moved right before I started college, away from the state she and I used to live, so the only way to see her is by airplane

-I have not seen her (other than countless hours on skype) for about a year

-I am flying out to visit her in a month or so

 

The problem I have is that I have let us get too serious and we have fallen very much in love during the past year while I have been away at school and now that I do not live near her, I will barely get to see her (once or twice a year) until I can eventually get a job near her after I finish school (assuming we make it that long). I'm at the point where I want this to last forever, but I know that it will be terribly difficult to continue this type of lifestyle of constantly missing her and not being able to help her with life and be there for her when she needs me (aside from over the phone/skype/etc...). She tells me she feels the same way, and we truly feel like we love each other.

 

We are honestly perfect for each other so naturally, we both want to keep each other in our lives in more of a way than simply friends. She considers me her best friend and I feel the same way about her. I can tell her anything and she always lets me know whats troubling her and we are open about everything. This is not to say that we are completely reliant on each other as we both have solid friends of the same and opposite sex as well. The basis of our trust is solid.

 

It will be another four years at the least before we can be in the same city. I love her with all of my heart, but four years is a long time to be dedicated to someone without being able to see them regularly. I also feel bad in a way because it seems like I am holding her back from wanting to do some fun high school things like dances and whatnot, although I have made it clear that I would be perfectly fine if she wants to go and gets asked or something. In a way, I feel like I am also kind of being held back from having a great time in college. While I'm not the type of person to go out and pursue sex, I have lost my urge to really want to go out with friends to parties and whatnot because I want to stay perfectly faithful.

 

With all of this said, is staying in this relationship worth it? It makes me sick thinking about not being with her, but I do need to consider this. I know I couldn't just fall out of love with her, but at times, our physical distance simply overwhelms me.

 

Help?

 

 

 

Thanks.

[BiscuitXOXO]

My heart burns for you.

 

I broke up with my high school sweetheart when we went to different colleges. Actually, I made certain that I attended a different college than him. I wanted to grow and explore more, without a relationship.

 

Even now, a year later, I still miss him; but I feel that it was the best decision for both of us.

 

Your situation, however, may be different. Maybe you two are closer than we were. Maybe you are not as willful as I am.

 

I personally think the best option to break up. If, in the future, your attraction to each other is still strong, then get back together. But life is short and you two are VERY young and there is still much of life to be tasted. It is also time to grow, without each other, to learn more about yourself independent of her and vice versa.

 

But unless you want a longterm LDR, you better transfer somewhere close to her ASAP.

[shoey]

Thank you for the thoughtful reply.

 

Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but I need to consider it nonetheless. Does anyone else has any input or experience with something similar to this? Or just some advice?