wat Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 well, not really funny, more sad really. I mean, we spend weeks/months chasing our potential partners, we go out on dates, spend time meeting the family etc. Then we fall in love, invest all our trust, hopes and dreams into that person. In my case even getting engaged. And then random events cause arguments and falling outs. Words spoken in the heat of the moment start to build emotional walls between you. And before you know it, they are gone. You delude yourself thinking you can get them back, like a sorry or an "I love you" is going to make everything ok again. When in reality all hope was lost the moment they walked out the door. The next time you see them is in a shopping mall or walking on the street. And you just walk past each other like strangers. Crazy really. The truth is, if two people truely love each other, they couldn't bare to be apart. And nothing would keep them apart. If your in a position where your ex has left and you are having to work out game plans to get them back, don't waste your time. If they love you, they will come back on their own. If they don't, you won't hear from them again. I guess what I'm trying to say is we all need to learn to look after ourselves. We live in a time where it is more common for partners to come and go. We have to learn to be realistic and deal with the pain. Accept that it is part of life and move on to the next adventure. And most importantly, no regrets.
NicoleM Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Well said! I am guilty of that myself. I did things that I would of never,ever done in a million years just in hopes of maybe getting him to like me. It's funny how we do things all in the name of love and then you look back and then was it really worth it in the end? The answer is no. The most important thing is moving on and not looking back and not getting yourself in that same situation again. Live and Learn........
Glove_slap Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 well, not really funny, more sad really. I mean, we spend weeks/months chasing our potential partners, we go out on dates, spend time meeting the family etc. Then we fall in love, invest all our trust, hopes and dreams into that person. In my case even getting engaged. And then random events cause arguments and falling outs. Words spoken in the heat of the moment start to build emotional walls between you. And before you know it, they are gone. You delude yourself thinking you can get them back, like a sorry or an "I love you" is going to make everything ok again. When in reality all hope was lost the moment they walked out the door. The next time you see them is in a shopping mall or walking on the street. And you just walk past each other like strangers. Crazy really. The truth is, if two people truely love each other, they couldn't bare to be apart. And nothing would keep them apart. If your in a position where your ex has left and you are having to work out game plans to get them back, don't waste your time. If they love you, they will come back on their own. If they don't, you won't hear from them again. I guess what I'm trying to say is we all need to learn to look after ourselves. We live in a time where it is more common for partners to come and go. We have to learn to be realistic and deal with the pain. Accept that it is part of life and move on to the next adventure. And most importantly, no regrets. +1 respect
Fufu Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 No regrets Love it. I looked back of my previous relationship, it's really a fruitful experience.
nini Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 So true...everything you said...all those tiny fights, build up, remain unsolved, cause resentment, and then all the love we had goes away.. Atm I''m too full of regrets, I cant even breathe properly, am at work but cant even concentrate on anything...will the day ever come when I can look back and say 'no regrets'?
getsback Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 So true...everything you said...all those tiny fights, build up, remain unsolved, cause resentment, and then all the love we had goes away.. Atm I''m too full of regrets, I cant even breathe properly, am at work but cant even concentrate on anything...will the day ever come when I can look back and say 'no regrets'? Yeah your day will come. As for when, well, it can only come when you learn to accept the relationship for what is was and let go. But when you do, you will feel like the whole weight of the world has been lifted off your shoulders!
nana841121 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I know better about myself, flaws and virtues of mine through the relationship. No hate, no false hope anymore. let it go.
Flgirl44 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 well, not really funny, more sad really. I mean, we spend weeks/months chasing our potential partners, we go out on dates, spend time meeting the family etc. Then we fall in love, invest all our trust, hopes and dreams into that person. In my case even getting engaged. And then random events cause arguments and falling outs. Words spoken in the heat of the moment start to build emotional walls between you. And before you know it, they are gone. You delude yourself thinking you can get them back, like a sorry or an "I love you" is going to make everything ok again. When in reality all hope was lost the moment they walked out the door. The next time you see them is in a shopping mall or walking on the street. And you just walk past each other like strangers. Crazy really. The truth is, if two people truely love each other, they couldn't bare to be apart. And nothing would keep them apart. If your in a position where your ex has left and you are having to work out game plans to get them back, don't waste your time. If they love you, they will come back on their own. If they don't, you won't hear from them again. I guess what I'm trying to say is we all need to learn to look after ourselves. We live in a time where it is more common for partners to come and go. We have to learn to be realistic and deal with the pain. Accept that it is part of life and move on to the next adventure. And most importantly, no regrets. I agree. I like the part about looking out for yourself. There is one thing though. It starts to be tiring after awhile if all your "adventures" are 4 year investments. By the logic of looking out for myself and the nature of the come and go society we live in, I shouldn't be pursuing long term relationships after a while. The problem is, that's what most people innately want. So to me, logically what we want isn't in our best interest to pursue creates a lot of confusion.
Delilah5 Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 well, not really funny, more sad really. I mean, we spend weeks/months chasing our potential partners, we go out on dates, spend time meeting the family etc. Then we fall in love, invest all our trust, hopes and dreams into that person. In my case even getting engaged. And then random events cause arguments and falling outs. Words spoken in the heat of the moment start to build emotional walls between you. And before you know it, they are gone. You delude yourself thinking you can get them back, like a sorry or an "I love you" is going to make everything ok again. When in reality all hope was lost the moment they walked out the door. The next time you see them is in a shopping mall or walking on the street. And you just walk past each other like strangers. Crazy really. The truth is, if two people truely love each other, they couldn't bare to be apart. And nothing would keep them apart. If your in a position where your ex has left and you are having to work out game plans to get them back, don't waste your time. If they love you, they will come back on their own. If they don't, you won't hear from them again. I guess what I'm trying to say is we all need to learn to look after ourselves. We live in a time where it is more common for partners to come and go. We have to learn to be realistic and deal with the pain. Accept that it is part of life and move on to the next adventure. And most importantly, no regrets. Amen, Sister! You can't lead a dead horse to water. It's painful, but not constant. The days pass and it subsides a little more each day. Thank God for the NO CONTACT rule. It should be enforced by everyone who is going through a breakup. It happens to everyone at some time or another. It's happening to me right now. I'm crying less than when we were still seeing each other. So in my case, I'm much better off. He didn't make me happy, only sad. I look forward to going out and having fun again and getting my life BACK. Before the boyfriend and after him. Because I pray that one day he'll realize what he had and he's the one that will be regretting his loss. I'm never taking him back. Period. Thanks for your story. It helps tremendously.
Delilah5 Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 So true...everything you said...all those tiny fights, build up, remain unsolved, cause resentment, and then all the love we had goes away.. Atm I''m too full of regrets, I cant even breathe properly, am at work but cant even concentrate on anything...will the day ever come when I can look back and say 'no regrets'? YES. You most definitely will!!!!!
rayne05us Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Yes, I agree...taking care of yourself, regardless of whether you're with someone or not, should be most important. I personally think everything happens for a reason and whatever we go through isn't really meant to cause us pain, but give us an opportunity to learn about ourselves etc.. I also believe while love is very important and necessary, it isn't enough. I could love someone very very much, but if they don't have good communication skills, self awareness, respect for them selves and other things I look for in someone to share my life with, then I have to realize it just may not work out. I once went to a psyhic and I was dating of couple of people at the time. She said "I don't think either these people aren't right for you, but you will learn what you DON'T want in a relationship from them". It's not the point of whether she was right about the people or not, but it made me realize I have to look at people coming into my life as an opportunity to learn something that will help me in the future. That's how I've tried to live and it's help me learn ALOT and helped me avoid many not so good situations.
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