otherfish Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I spent 2.5 years of my life with a woman I loved. We had our ups and downs but WAY more ups than downs. We ended things on the stupidest argument. During the argument, she told me to leave (about her 5th time doing this, yet, she preached communcation through the entire relationship)....so, I packed my crap and left. We havent spoken since. For the last 2 months, I have lived in continual pain asking myself, "Did 2 and half years really just end over me not walking the dog?" So, I got to thinking and I asked myself, "What if during the relationship I had something of hers, like her videocamera or a piece of her jewelry or a piece of her expensive clothing at my place. Something that when a moment got rough and it looked like things were going to end she had to contact me to get it back. And maybe this little "fortunate happening" would open the lines of communication? So, in future relationships, should I take hostage something important to my love to use in a time of desperation? Of course, for communication sake......
Jdw_Icequeen Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Thats kinda funny... I read your post a few months back about this.. I don't think it had to do with walking the dog. For some reason it was the last straw.. I won't make assumtions or theories on what because it could be anything. Lets just keep it like this, there is reason its over. Wether you understand why or not, it is. I can say its great that you have made it thus far with NC and haven't made up some weird excuse as some of us do..(example)" have you seen that watch my father gave me"? It wasn't meant to be, when you find the person you are meant to be with. You won't have to worry about what precious item you will have to hold hostage to get her back..
rayne05us Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Yeah, it definitely was not walking the dog...Normally I don't make generalizations like this, but SOME women (maybe men too) tend to let the BIG issue fuel everything else...so she may want you to take the dog out but say the BIG issue is "Why won't you marry me?!!"... The big issue is what she's really thinking about. So when she's yelling at you for leaving the toilet seat up, she's taking that anger from "Why wont' you Marry me!!?" and making the current thing an evn bigger issue...which basically all adds up to horrible communication. And there are many many many women who actually have great communication skills!! And the fact that she already left you 5 times....you KNOW you deserve better than that. I've never even met you and I know you deserve better than that. She's a total flight risk, which I'm guessing is not what you want in a relationship. So being that you can't change anyone else, even though I'm sure you love her very much, you're not going to make her into what you want her to be or what you need. Really sit down and think about what you want in a relationship...use this as a learning tool. And WHEN you're ready, go after the qualities you want in a women and don't settle for less than that Best of luck!!
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