Jump to content

6 months and still have horrendous days


Recommended Posts

Ok so its been 6 months since my ex split with me but in that time hes played me around, got in touch wanted to see me but not wanted a relationship...ive fallen for it everytime, slept with him, hung out with him, he always been lovely when its just us two, hence why im still not 100% over it...but im on the right track now at least.

 

Im moving in about 3 weeks which will be good as I wont be looking out for him in my hometown now or his car (he moved here for me from 200 miles away 6 months into our relationship) its pretty much ruined a lot of my memories from my hometown unfortunately. Also my friends saw him in one of our local pubs on a date with another girl on sat night, it hurt of course but what got to me more was that he moved here for me (nearly a year ago now) and now hes going on dates with other girls from here. Understand what I mean? Anyway I was pretty upset when I heard about the date but since Ive heard ive been feeling better day by day. Cant fully shake the feeling off but that will come I hope with a little more time.

 

Im still blocked on fbook by him which annoys me i dont know why though but it does, I think its a bit pathetic to be honest. He did it after he was horrid to me about 6 weeks ago (I did nothing wrong.) And also....before I heard about him on the date, the week before that, I saw him for the first time in about 5 weeks, it was fine we got on (I didnt purposefully meet up with him I saw him in the pub). But as I was leaving he casually dropped in that he was staying in the following night and would I want to join him. (This is after he was a complete b****** to me when we were on a night out 5 weeks ago and said some horrific things to me as well as telling me to stay away from him even though I never follow him as that statement suggests...so I couldnt quite believe the cheek of it). I of course didnt go although a v small part of me was tempted i have to admit. I didnt get in touch and he hasnt been in touch either. Apart from seeing him 2 weeks ago, weve had no contact for about 7 weeks now.

 

I just feel maybe now im missing attention from a man or missing hanging out with a man and chatting etc? Have any of you/your friends seen your ex on a date before with another girl? How did it make you feel? I wanted to know what she looked like/who she was but that doesnt really matter does it?

 

Ive been seeing a counsellor for 5 weeks now and she told me that shes seen an improvement in me but that I need to get my confidence back, which has been well and truly shattered since the breakup. I was once such a confident person, I still am in work situations but not in a bar/club/meeting men situation, I know im not unattractive, although I do feel it most of the time, I know im not. But my confidence is at such an all time low.

 

I wonder why he wanted me to go over to his, ok fair could have been sex, but really after how horrid he was to me? I didnt get it. I still miss him, well either him or just someone maybe?? I still dont and wont ever understand why he broke up with me he always said how I was the one and he was totally in love with me, we were even going to move in together. I just think its that he wanted to be a young lad (hes23/24) and have fun, hes never lived away from home until he moved here so I guess mybe thats another thing.

 

I just want to meet someone else now but I hate dating, not knowing where you stand etc with my ex we didnt really date there were no games we just got into the relationship.

 

I do still have horrendous days, but I have good days, more good than bad now...but a day doesnt go by without thinking about him, heck...an hour doesnt go by without thinking about him...is that normal!?!?

Sorry...bit of a rant :( bad day xxx

Link to post
Share on other sites
TaraMaiden

When was the last time you spoke to him or saw him, or got a text from him or he from you?

 

When was the last time you had any form of contact with this man?

Link to post
Share on other sites
TaraMaiden

Sorry, I see you 'saw' him 2 weeks ago...

But apart from that, it's been 7 weeks, right?

 

In that case, you've actually only been split - 7 weeks. NOT 6 months.

No wonder you still feel like cr*p.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Thats exactly what my counsellor said. I just feel like ive been going through it for 6 months. Yeah it has been 7 weeks since no real contact apart from about 1 hour of seeing him in the pub two weeks ago. I didnt understand why he invited me over. It angered me really. Jan/Feb/March was three months of talking to him/seeing him sporadically. Hes messed with my head so much :( I know i deserve so much better. Just never feels like I will get someone better. :(

Link to post
Share on other sites
TaraMaiden

If you definitely feel you deserve someone better - anyone's got to be better than this.

 

Don't look at what he's like.

 

look at what you're like.

Focus on you.

 

if you know you deserve to be a priority, then never settle for being an option.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Thank you :) I do need to focus on me and getting my confidence back...i hate him for making me a shadow of my former self. My best friend keeps saying that how I am is just not me. Im not my usual self. And another friend told me that the girl she knew would never have let a guy belittle her that much...its encouraging to hear really in a way...encouraging to make myself get back to teh confident person I know I hopefully can be. And I never looked at the 'I deserve someone better' like you have...of course...anyone has to be better I suppose...unless they cheat, my ex never cheated. xx

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...