calndn Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Ok so its been 6 months since my ex split with me but in that time hes played me around, got in touch wanted to see me but not wanted a relationship...ive fallen for it everytime, slept with him, hung out with him, he always been lovely when its just us two, hence why im still not 100% over it...but im on the right track now at least. Im moving in about 3 weeks which will be good as I wont be looking out for him in my hometown now or his car (he moved here for me from 200 miles away 6 months into our relationship) its pretty much ruined a lot of my memories from my hometown unfortunately. Also my friends saw him in one of our local pubs on a date with another girl on sat night, it hurt of course but what got to me more was that he moved here for me (nearly a year ago now) and now hes going on dates with other girls from here. Understand what I mean? Anyway I was pretty upset when I heard about the date but since Ive heard ive been feeling better day by day. Cant fully shake the feeling off but that will come I hope with a little more time. Im still blocked on fbook by him which annoys me i dont know why though but it does, I think its a bit pathetic to be honest. He did it after he was horrid to me about 6 weeks ago (I did nothing wrong.) And also....before I heard about him on the date, the week before that, I saw him for the first time in about 5 weeks, it was fine we got on (I didnt purposefully meet up with him I saw him in the pub). But as I was leaving he casually dropped in that he was staying in the following night and would I want to join him. (This is after he was a complete b****** to me when we were on a night out 5 weeks ago and said some horrific things to me as well as telling me to stay away from him even though I never follow him as that statement suggests...so I couldnt quite believe the cheek of it). I of course didnt go although a v small part of me was tempted i have to admit. I didnt get in touch and he hasnt been in touch either. Apart from seeing him 2 weeks ago, weve had no contact for about 7 weeks now. I just feel maybe now im missing attention from a man or missing hanging out with a man and chatting etc? Have any of you/your friends seen your ex on a date before with another girl? How did it make you feel? I wanted to know what she looked like/who she was but that doesnt really matter does it? Ive been seeing a counsellor for 5 weeks now and she told me that shes seen an improvement in me but that I need to get my confidence back, which has been well and truly shattered since the breakup. I was once such a confident person, I still am in work situations but not in a bar/club/meeting men situation, I know im not unattractive, although I do feel it most of the time, I know im not. But my confidence is at such an all time low. I wonder why he wanted me to go over to his, ok fair could have been sex, but really after how horrid he was to me? I didnt get it. I still miss him, well either him or just someone maybe?? I still dont and wont ever understand why he broke up with me he always said how I was the one and he was totally in love with me, we were even going to move in together. I just think its that he wanted to be a young lad (hes23/24) and have fun, hes never lived away from home until he moved here so I guess mybe thats another thing. I just want to meet someone else now but I hate dating, not knowing where you stand etc with my ex we didnt really date there were no games we just got into the relationship. I do still have horrendous days, but I have good days, more good than bad now...but a day doesnt go by without thinking about him, heck...an hour doesnt go by without thinking about him...is that normal!?!? Sorry...bit of a rant bad day xxx Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 When was the last time you spoke to him or saw him, or got a text from him or he from you? When was the last time you had any form of contact with this man? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Sorry, I see you 'saw' him 2 weeks ago... But apart from that, it's been 7 weeks, right? In that case, you've actually only been split - 7 weeks. NOT 6 months. No wonder you still feel like cr*p. Link to post Share on other sites
Author calndn Posted May 12, 2011 Author Share Posted May 12, 2011 Thats exactly what my counsellor said. I just feel like ive been going through it for 6 months. Yeah it has been 7 weeks since no real contact apart from about 1 hour of seeing him in the pub two weeks ago. I didnt understand why he invited me over. It angered me really. Jan/Feb/March was three months of talking to him/seeing him sporadically. Hes messed with my head so much I know i deserve so much better. Just never feels like I will get someone better. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 If you definitely feel you deserve someone better - anyone's got to be better than this. Don't look at what he's like. look at what you're like. Focus on you. if you know you deserve to be a priority, then never settle for being an option. Link to post Share on other sites
Author calndn Posted May 12, 2011 Author Share Posted May 12, 2011 Thank you I do need to focus on me and getting my confidence back...i hate him for making me a shadow of my former self. My best friend keeps saying that how I am is just not me. Im not my usual self. And another friend told me that the girl she knew would never have let a guy belittle her that much...its encouraging to hear really in a way...encouraging to make myself get back to teh confident person I know I hopefully can be. And I never looked at the 'I deserve someone better' like you have...of course...anyone has to be better I suppose...unless they cheat, my ex never cheated. xx Link to post Share on other sites
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