teaforone Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I get horrible anxiety when I am dating/seeing someone. I worry constantly. I tend to worry that he doesn't like me, or doesn't want to see me anymore, won't text me anymore, or won't ask me to hang out with him anymore even though a few days before we we're just texting and flirting and i know he's interested and vice versa. I just assume the worst. It's like some weeks are better than others, and then it will hit me like a ton of bricks and i'll go into panic mode. Like last weekend, me and the guy i like were supposed to hang out but things didn't go as planned and so i start worrying that he isn't going to ask me to hang out again or that he hates me. I hate feeling this way, and i don't know what to do to stop it. Part of me thinks it stems from past relationships, and guys i've liked who bailed on me a lot or wouldn't let me know if they were going to be late or our plans weren't happening,etc...I think as a result of all that i received abandonment issues. Has anyone ever experienced this before? Or know anything i could do? Or why i act this way?
guy777 Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 If you are attracted to guys who bail, I think you're in sort of a pickle. I generally don't bail, but I have if I had two women going at the same time decided to clip the situation down to one. In general I think there are guys who are less likely to bail. You can pick them out if you really want to. For example, I'm initially attracted to, and click easier with, promiscuous women. But then they turn me off when the reality of what we have sets in. I'm working on being attracted to people that I think are more likely to want what I want. I'm thinking maybe I can actually choose who I'm attracted to and make a decision. Then my decision will be based on a more rational rather than primal level. I can try anyway.
SunnyTrail Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I get horrible anxiety when I am dating/seeing someone. I worry constantly. I tend to worry that he doesn't like me, or doesn't want to see me anymore, won't text me anymore, or won't ask me to hang out with him anymore even though a few days before we we're just texting and flirting and i know he's interested and vice versa. I just assume the worst. It's like some weeks are better than others, and then it will hit me like a ton of bricks and i'll go into panic mode. Like last weekend, me and the guy i like were supposed to hang out but things didn't go as planned and so i start worrying that he isn't going to ask me to hang out again or that he hates me. I hate feeling this way, and i don't know what to do to stop it. Part of me thinks it stems from past relationships, and guys i've liked who bailed on me a lot or wouldn't let me know if they were going to be late or our plans weren't happening,etc...I think as a result of all that i received abandonment issues. Has anyone ever experienced this before? Or know anything i could do? Or why i act this way? ----- I feel this way sometimes too, as I am in a new relationship and only my second serious one. However, I also feel this way around friends, family and coworkers, which has to do with general social anxiety and my self esteem. I try to hesitate before coming to the conclusion that my bf or someone hates me or that I did something wrong, because for the most part it's just in our heads, or, if I suspect something because of body language, lack of communication etc, it could be caused by something that has nothing to do with me. You won't really know if something is wrong between the two of you unless you ask him, but until he does something that alarms you, there's no need to ask. Now if something you worry about actually happens, like the guy stops texting you or calling you, yeah, ask him about it.
Author teaforone Posted May 12, 2011 Author Posted May 12, 2011 -----I try to hesitate before coming to the conclusion that my bf or someone hates me or that I did something wrong, because for the most part it's just in our heads, or, if I suspect something because of body language, lack of communication etc, it could be caused by something that has nothing to do with me. You won't really know if something is wrong between the two of you unless you ask him, but until he does something that alarms you, there's no need to ask. Now if something you worry about actually happens, like the guy stops texting you or calling you, yeah, ask him about it. I guess i just get so panicky sometimes that i just start thinking they do hate me, or won't talk to me anymore. Then later i start thinking about things and i honestly don't see why they'd hate me. But no, so far he hasn't stopped texting me or talking to me. I guess i just worry with that that if i don't text him today he won't for some reason.
RovingReporter Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I feel this way when I start dating someone new. It usually helps to date a couple people at a time so you don't become fixated on one person.
Author teaforone Posted May 12, 2011 Author Posted May 12, 2011 I feel this way when I start dating someone new. It usually helps to date a couple people at a time so you don't become fixated on one person. I was never a big fan of the whole dating multiple people at once thing. Plus even if we aren't in a relationship yet, i'd feel like i was cheating on them somehow.
LonerGirl Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I was never a big fan of the whole dating multiple people at once thing. Plus even if we aren't in a relationship yet, i'd feel like i was cheating on them somehow. I guess i just get so panicky sometimes that i just start thinking they do hate me, or won't talk to me anymore. Then later i start thinking about things and i honestly don't see why they'd hate me. But no, so far he hasn't stopped texting me or talking to me. I guess i just worry with that that if i don't text him today he won't for some reason. I get horrible anxiety when I am dating/seeing someone. I worry constantly. I tend to worry that he doesn't like me, or doesn't want to see me anymore, won't text me anymore, or won't ask me to hang out with him anymore even though a few days before we we're just texting and flirting and i know he's interested and vice versa. I just assume the worst. It's like some weeks are better than others, and then it will hit me like a ton of bricks and i'll go into panic mode. Like last weekend, me and the guy i like were supposed to hang out but things didn't go as planned and so i start worrying that he isn't going to ask me to hang out again or that he hates me. I hate feeling this way, and i don't know what to do to stop it. Part of me thinks it stems from past relationships, and guys i've liked who bailed on me a lot or wouldn't let me know if they were going to be late or our plans weren't happening,etc...I think as a result of all that i received abandonment issues. Has anyone ever experienced this before? Or know anything i could do? Or why i act this way? I feel the exact same way you do!! Right now I'm having horrible anxiety about this guy I'm dating getting tired of me or finding some other girl. And the dating thing is so true for me too! I can't date more than one person. It feels like cheating to me because I don't date someone unless I really like them and knew them beforehand. I wish I could tell you how to stop it, but I'm trying to figure that out too. It's nice to know that there is someone else that feels the same way I do.
SJC2008 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I get crazy nervous when dating someone new. Had a date a couple of months ago and was so nervous but tried to play it cool. I guess it showed though because 1 date was all I got. After not returning my calls I texted her whats up and she said she wasnt ready to date due to a recent breakup. About 6wks later I signed up for online dating and guess who was on there? Her. So she either lied or was "ready" 6wks later and signed up at the same time as I did. Im going with she lied and I didn't float her boat. I'm really cool but have anxiety when meeting new wonen and it takes me a little bit to act like the real me but the women I have dealt with jump to conclusions too fast so that puts me in a bad situation. I better fix it fast because I'm knocking on the door of 30. People who do not have anxiety will never understand, it's impossible to explain.
parksung17 Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 I have been talking with girl for about 2 weeks. He is a very nice and caring girl. Everything was great i asked him for coffee and say yes, After meeting him i did't sleep for last three days. As anyone here ever had this amount of anxiety when meeting someone and even after meeting someone? Dating
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