billion Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Hi to all, I've been dating this guy that is 7 years younger than me (25) and we had a blast. I really loved him, took care of him, I thought a lot of our relationship and wanted to invest all the good in it. In fact, I think I forgot about myself a little in this relationship. For the last months, he had moved to another city and we managed to see each other frequently by visiting. All our exchanges were very romantic (email, phone calls everyday), but he always kind of liked to talk about what was happening in his life. The last time we saw each others, a couple of weeks ago, I talked about engagement between him and I. It was important for me to know where he stood about it, since we are in a long distance relationship. I though this aspect of the relationship was important. In those particular circomstances. That week-end was the worst of all since he broke up with me, saying that he 'had to think' of what he really wanted (married life or single life). Well, it has been a shock but after crying a lot (both of us), he just got back to his place. He called two days after asking me 'how have I been and that he needed to think more'... I said ok. Then, I didn't have news for 6 days and I called him and he didn't responded so I just wrote him an email saying that it was best for us to part, that I didn't wanted to wait any longer and wished him luck with all. Then he called me back the next day and we talked for like 7 hours trying to fix things but the conclusion was the same. We cried again but left in good terms, agreeing to be 'friends'. After a week of NC he called me to 'get some news'. 'How are you feeling, are you ok?'.. I acted happy (which I was) and told him that I was ok, respecting his decision and accepting the situation and that it have led me to great thoughts and that I was learning great things from it. At a point he said, 'you're ok? really?'.I just cut the call quite fast because I had to run. I haven't been emotional at all. 5 days after that phone call, he called me again and he asked again 'how are you feeling, are you ok??', I responded the same and asked about him and he told me that he was 'missing me' sometimes. Also, during this call, he have told me 'hey, I'm coming to town for two weeks, arriving tomorrow, what do you have planned for the next two weeks, do you want to meet?'. In a friendly way, I asked 'hum.. maybe for a coffee but hum... why do you want to see me'? He answered .. 'well just to hand out, just as friends, to have fun'.. I replied that I was not ready for that yet.. Then he added.. 'well, I would also like to talk about the break up since we only have talked about it on the phone you know...'.. I politely said that I thought we had say everything about that and that I was now beyond that point and that it would be unnecessary to make all the emotions reemerge again. He then said.. 'ok, if you need more time, I respect that... Then I said 'did you want to meet to talk about the break up decision?'.. He said.. 'well, not really, well, we can talk about whatever we feel like'. Me - 'good'... Him -'Well, if you want to see me, you know that I'll be in town for the next two weeks... ok??'.. I said 'ok' and just said I have to run and he said 'see you very soon'... I really have the feeling that this guy just thought that I was going to welcome him back because I've been so (too) good and accomodating in the past with him. I want to break this pattern (it is probably too late with him though).. I will just continue the NC because I want him to miss me hard core and for him to understand that I have a back bone and that if he is not ready for a comitment, well, that I have no energy to invest in this relationship being the 'casual groupie/girlfriend' or friend that will help 'him' feel better after I've been dumped and me to feel worst.. or 'friend with benefits', no way!!.. (I think this meet up could have ended that way!) What do you think of this situation? Do you think I have regained my dignity by standing straight, even if late in the process? Will NC make him realize that I have dignity? Thanks a billion!
kaycstamper Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I'm wondering why you chose to start a new thread and re-post this, it makes it confusing. What does it matter what he thinks? You should be focused on yourself not him. Try to move on and get over him. Keep busy and set up some fun dates with your friends.
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