irc333 Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I met this woman online and we had talked on a phone twice already. She's made statements online and on the phone that she isn't looking to date, but just hang out with someone to see what someone is about before considering dating them. She gave me fair warning on our first phone call that she's a slow mover and the last guy she met online she spent 6 months with before determining she wasn't interested in a dating relationship with him. Well, to ME that's dating, but she is saying it's "hanging out". I never stated this to her, because I didn't want to argue what is considered, "dating." I then asked her if they were both free to see others, and she said that hadn't seen anyone else, BUT him those 6 months, they just happened to enjoy each other's company and thus just never focused on anyone else but each other anyhow. Then she made a joking remark about how I might think that it's clear as mud on a couple of occasions when describing the nature of her dating routine. Personally, I like to take things slow and she does, too. But I tend to wonder about a person....well, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, then it IS a duck. Personally, I think 6 months is quite a long time....but are there other questions I should be asking her like. 1. Did you guys go dutch since you're just "hanging out" 2. Was there anything physically romantic/intimate going on those 6 months? Snuggling, holding hands? (I'm assuming nothing sexual here, but perhaps kissing, physical intimacy, etc) Those are the 2 main ones I want to ask. Anyone?
chuckles11 Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Do you really want to put yourself through a 6 month test period where someone else judges your actions and decides whether they want to be more than friends? Doesn't it concern you that she admits she bailed on the last guy that agreed to this arrangement? I'd be interested in her answers to the questions you just asked. However, If I were a betting man, I'd say the answers are 1. No and 2. No.
Cee Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Those are all good questions to ask. I would also ask her about her relationship history. It's nice that she is exclusive in the hanging out period, but she shouldn't expect you to be exclusive since it's only "hanging out." I don't know if you should get involved though. It sounds like she's not ready for a relationship and is looking for companionship rather than a boyfriend.
Author irc333 Posted May 12, 2011 Author Posted May 12, 2011 Those are all good questions to ask. I would also ask her about her relationship history. It's nice that she is exclusive in the hanging out period, but she shouldn't expect you to be exclusive since it's only "hanging out." I don't know if you should get involved though. It sounds like she's not ready for a relationship and is looking for companionship rather than a boyfriend. Actually, she told me she's marriage minded, she does desire wanting to be wife. So marriage is her goal.
EasyHeart Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 It's a control thing. You've probably noticed that women have thousands of different labels or categories of relationships I've never found the complete list, but "hanging out" is one of those categories. It allows her to walk away at any moment if she feels like it, while at the same time keeping you on a leash. I stay away from women who like to play word games (or any other kind of games).
guy777 Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Go out with her, but if there aren't sparks flying by date 4-5 (she is initiating the things you mentioned), don't be like that stooge who kept "hanging" with her for 6 months and hoping she would finally decide to sleep with him.
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