wat Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 My ex left me nearly 3 months ago. I dont want to go into too much detail but I hurt her feelings and she told me the relationship was beyond repair. She said she didn't have feelings for me anymore and that we could never work as a couple again. Anyway, I moved on and she hasn't contacted me at all. However, recently I contacted her by text and we briefly chatted. I suggested being friends as she had previously told me she didn't have feelings for me anymore and we always got on so well. But she said she had trusted me not to hurt her but I did. And she said she couldn't jump from being my partner to my friend. That she couldn't see how it would help either of us. That's fine, I'll leave her alone if she dosnt want to be friends. But I am a bit confused. Just wondered why someone that dosnt have feelings for you anymore would say they couldn't jump from being my partner to my friend? And also, why it wouldn't help her? I'm just curious more then anything as it's hard to understand women at the best of times!
smudge21 Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Whatever you did (and I'm not here to judge) clearly is still fresh with her and so is the pain you may have caused. You getting in touch has probably confused her as, with most dumpees, she probably does still have feelings for you. You've made it clear you'd like to be friends, but now you need to back off and let her decide what to do. She's already told you being friends may not be possible, so you may have to just accept that.
Author wat Posted May 12, 2011 Author Posted May 12, 2011 Whatever you did (and I'm not here to judge) clearly is still fresh with her and so is the pain you may have caused. You getting in touch has probably confused her as, with most dumpees, she probably does still have feelings for you. You've made it clear you'd like to be friends, but now you need to back off and let her decide what to do. She's already told you being friends may not be possible, so you may have to just accept that. Thanks for the reply mate. The only thing is you have got it the wrong way round. She is actually the "dumper"
nana841121 Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Wat, reading your post is a strange feeling for me. cause you sounded like my ex. I guess what i want to say is our situation is similar I was the dumper. i dumped my ex, for i didn't think he loved me. although i dumped him, i still love him. my pride didn't allow me to stay in this relationship. He found a new GF one month after the breakup. Then he started to contact me. calling me to check if i am ok, how is my life. He behaves like a friend to me now. I doubted how he can shift his position from a lover to a friend so quickly. we didn't have the foundation of friendship. His motivation really baffles me.
Author wat Posted May 12, 2011 Author Posted May 12, 2011 Wat, reading your post is a strange feeling for me. cause you sounded like my ex. I guess what i want to say is our situation is similar I was the dumper. i dumped my ex, for i didn't think he loved me. although i dumped him, i still love him. my pride didn't allow me to stay in this relationship. He found a new GF one month after the breakup. Then he started to contact me. calling me to check if i am ok, how is my life. He behaves like a friend to me now. I doubted how he can shift his position from a lover to a friend so quickly. we didn't have the foundation of friendship. His motivation really baffles me. Thanks for the reply. Yeah it's a strange situation really. She was really heartbroken went she ended things so maybe it's all a bit raw for her? Although 3 months is a long time and like I say, she did tell me she didn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore so she can't of been feeling that bad! I'm probably just over thinking it. She probably just dosnt have any interest in bring friends because she has better things to do In your situation, maybe he thought more of you then you realised?
kaycstamper Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 she didn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore so she can't of been feeling that bad! That's not necessarily true. My fiance broke up with me and while I was still crying over him and hurting like crazy, I recognized he's not good relationship material. You can know something is for your best but still hurt and still love the other person. I love him but I don't trust him and will never feel the same way about him. However, I decided (after several months NC) it'd be good to back up and start over and be friends...why? Merely because I really do like him, he's intelligent and one of the funniest people I've ever met and I genuinely enjoy his company and care about him. But I have zero interest in getting involved with him again because He doesn't follow through and isn't there for me in the way that I need. I felt I was a giver and he was a taker...not even keel.
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