ComplicatedInCA Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I recently broke up with my girlfriend of almost 9 years. We missed our anniversary by about a week. We did a lot of growing up together. We went through college together, owned a couple businesses together, and have wonderful 2 dogs. We started having trouble recently when she took interest in some older men that were frequenting our business and when I asked her to draw some healthy boundaries, she refused. I suspected she was had an emotional attachment to one of these men because she started getting very jealous of her privacy like hiding her phone, getting texts at weird times, etc. We had always had a very total disclosure relationship. We had each other's email passwords, facebook, cell phone passwords; we pretty much shared everything with no secrecy at all. But then this all started to change very rapidly. When you are with someone that long you can just sense something is not right. One of these single, middle-aged men happened to have inherited A LOT of money, so it pretty much summed up to me what was going on. For reference, we are both in our late twenties. Then she started telling me things like, "I want to be taken care of" and "It would be so easy, but I couldn't live with myself." Even though she insisted nothing was going on, her words were hurting me deeply and continued to make me insecure and suspicious of this "friendship". Our tension built and built and needless to say it hit a boiling point in January. The break-up itself was bad, she took our business, she took our dogs, and left me essentially with nothing. I have struggled for months to understand how this person that I loved and shared so many experiences with could do this to me so maliciously. She refuses to even talk to me, so our financial issues cannot be resolved and I cannot even see my dogs that I have raised from puppies for over 7 years. I've heard talk to one of my friends, and she claims that I "pushed her" to do all of this, because I was questioning this "friendship", which I find to be absurd. I keep thinking I have an unusual situation, where this person literally WILL NOT talk to me. She will not even return simple, concise emails requesting basic exchanges of information relating to our finances. Its hard for me to understand how someone can just shut off their emotions so fast. Oh, and she started "officially" dating the guy that was in question like a week after the break-up of our almost 9-year relationship. Greed truly is the root of all evil. For those of you who have gone through a break-up of a long-term relationship, how long does it take before you can trust again? Do you ever get the closure you want from the other person?
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