Djshmh Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 ask my Father for help even after not seeing him for 20+ years? I live in the US and he resides in Saudi Arabia where he works. To make a long story short, I found my Father after searching for answers for many years. I was told that he moved back home in 1993 after only being in the US for 7 or 8 years. I wish he would have taken me back home with him. Even though I grew up in the western world, here in the US and I am very Americanized and I don't currently follow my traditional Islamic religion, a big part of me still feels connected to that side of my family. Growing up without my Father here, only made me curious to know more about Islam, so I would always ask people questions and when I was a little girl I was taught Arabic, only not to use it. I still know how to sound out their vowels and such, but I am not fluent at all. Apart of me also feels strongly connected to that feeling of needing to be taken care of by a male figure (i know it sounds ridiculous)...but if you read the Islamic way of life, the men of the family are supposed to support the women in their family financially and the women is supposed to keep all of her money to herself. It seems vague, I know...but deep down, I am yearning for that feeling of being taken care of by my uncles and cousins. I almost feel entitled to it. I know that seems greedy and stingy because I am from America and that is not how we do it, however, it doesn't seem wrong of me to want that. I would never use anyone, but it's just that feeling of being safe and secure by the men in my family that I am after... Hopefully it will come. I have had my Father's mobile number for a few days now. I've been afraid to call him. Afraid of what he might say. ? Afraid of what I might say. I've forgiven him for his lack of presence in my life, but I still want to know who he is. I have a yearning for my Father and I've never been able to love a man...maybe this will open up the doors to love that I never knew? I believe that he is a very religious man and comes from a very religious family... I'm afraid of saying something I don't mean..So I'm waiting to think about what I will say...and how I will say it.
VicJay79 Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Djshmh, I also wish I had a stronger relationship with my Father. In my own culture, the Father was only a provider for the family financially, but not in an emotional sense. I really never got to learn how men behave, relate, and act. Its very different from the typical american experience, where the men do interact a lot more with their children. Similiar to you, I still crave that relationship... I think you should give him a call but also not expect much in terms of creating an experience or life long bond with your father. The sad reality not every man is honorable. The hardest thing will be to control your expectations, and make sure you don't hope for something more then slightly akward phone call. I honestly hope its going to be better, but its all about not getting hurt... expect less! Its a tough position, but I still think you should do it, and make the call. It is a chapter in your life that you can close and come to terms with. ask my Father for help even after not seeing him for 20+ years? I live in the US and he resides in Saudi Arabia where he works. To make a long story short, I found my Father after searching for answers for many years. I was told that he moved back home in 1993 after only being in the US for 7 or 8 years. I wish he would have taken me back home with him. Even though I grew up in the western world, here in the US and I am very Americanized and I don't currently follow my traditional Islamic religion, a big part of me still feels connected to that side of my family. Growing up without my Father here, only made me curious to know more about Islam, so I would always ask people questions and when I was a little girl I was taught Arabic, only not to use it. I still know how to sound out their vowels and such, but I am not fluent at all. Apart of me also feels strongly connected to that feeling of needing to be taken care of by a male figure (i know it sounds ridiculous)...but if you read the Islamic way of life, the men of the family are supposed to support the women in their family financially and the women is supposed to keep all of her money to herself. It seems vague, I know...but deep down, I am yearning for that feeling of being taken care of by my uncles and cousins. I almost feel entitled to it. I know that seems greedy and stingy because I am from America and that is not how we do it, however, it doesn't seem wrong of me to want that. I would never use anyone, but it's just that feeling of being safe and secure by the men in my family that I am after... Hopefully it will come. I have had my Father's mobile number for a few days now. I've been afraid to call him. Afraid of what he might say. ? Afraid of what I might say. I've forgiven him for his lack of presence in my life, but I still want to know who he is. I have a yearning for my Father and I've never been able to love a man...maybe this will open up the doors to love that I never knew? I believe that he is a very religious man and comes from a very religious family... I'm afraid of saying something I don't mean..So I'm waiting to think about what I will say...and how I will say it.
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