orion1010 Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 So my ex fiance of 3.5 years moved out March 31st. We still share the lease of our apartment which is up July 31st. Either of us can afford this place alone, so he still pays his half by dropping the rent in the drop box without seeing each other. Well, today he text me first today asking about rent finances and I responded. We text back and forth a few times, only talking about the money owed and then he ended with and "i'll call you". Last month on the 20th he was dropping of his rent early. didn't give me a heads up. I'm driving away from the apartment and I see him pulling in. I call him and ask what he's doing going to the apartment. He said he was stopping by to see if he had any mail that came before he changed his address. I told him that I would check the next day.. He text me the next day saying "will you be home soon? was gonna stop by and pickup mail" I said there was none. he said "really? i was sure there was but ok". Just seeing him again or texting brings back the feelings of missing him. I was doing so well. But now I feel like I took a few steps back. I know we are over, but it's so hard to HAVE to talk to him until this apartment lease is up. We have to clean it together, and do the walk though.. blah blah.. It's just frustrating.. Top it off, I found out last night that the guy i went on four dates is a liar and truley didn't like me the way he told me to my face he did. he told my friend basically the opposite of what he told me. Very frustrating day. Ok, rant over..
welikeincrowds Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I'm sorry to hear this Especially since the new guy didn't turn out as you hoped. It's nice to have a diversion to distract you. Yes, this sounds very frustrating. You'll be a lot better off when your lease is up. Keep it up! I guess it's worth saying that setbacks will keep happening even when you're not obligated to see him anymore. Even after you've taken all the appropriate measures -- gotten rid of all his **** and everything that reminded you of him -- something will remind you of him. A word will remind you of him, a color will remind you of him, a fart will remind you of him, you could be staring at a blank wall and something will remind you of him. I'm sure you don't need me to remind you of any of this. I'm just reiterating that point because I want to stress how this is a good thing. Obviously you do not want prolonged contact, or clear signals of his presence, because these carry the sensation of opened wounds. But every time you're spontaneously reminded of him, it's one more ounce of pain being relieved from within, one more step to health and freedom. (P.S. You should probably post this in the Coping section.)
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