Heaviside Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 Hi, I've known this girl for 5 years, we have been in constant communication for the past year and we've got serious for the past 5 months. We are in our early twenties. She just graduated from University in April and I still have 1 more year to complete. She had a job lined up in a different province (12 hour drive), which she took and is working in right now, and got accepted into grad school which is extremely far and uncommutable however, the chances of her going are getting slimmer. We are both extremely compatible and love each other. Prior to her moving, we agreed that we want to be together for a long time and we would try to keep this going. Only at that point is where I thought a long-distance relationship would be plausible, maybe i was too hopeful. It's been a couple weeks, and after a lot of discussions, she felt that we should breakup because she wasn't happy with doing a LDR. She isn't content, see wants to see me and talk to me. I proposed the idea of routine visits, but she is correct in that it's not financially viable for me and work doesn't permit very much free time for her. I told her that I would like to spend time with her while she's closer now, whereas potentially she'll be too far for me to visit. She said that, the distance is the same wherever she is as long as I'm not with her. I would like to think that she's a bitch etc. But rationally, she's absolutely correct and I realize how unrealistic this relationship would be. This relationship would be indefinite, there is no end point where we can say we will be guaranteed to be together for the foreseeable future. It's been a week since we 'brokeup' but neither of us can stop talking to one another. Both of us obviously have feelings for one another, and it it's really unfortunate that this happened. Neither of us can resent each other enough to stop talking to each other. However, she feels that if we continue to talk, we'll continue to have this weird quasi-relationship and thus we'll limit ourselves - granted she was the one who said don't stop talking to me after she brokeup with me. Originally, I had figured that we would carry out our lives in the next year, evaluate our situations a year from now and hopefully make it work. Even then, there are so many unknowns, it's a big risk. I don't want to lose her, even as a friend, I respect her and I enjoy her company and insight. I even proposed maintaining a 'friendship' but it's tough when we obviously want to be intimate with eachother and I anticipate being deeply hurt when she does find someone else. So, what do I do? If I maintain in contact with her, I'll be in the back of her mind and subconsciously restrict her but I could get hurt in midst as well. If I stop talking to her, I feel like I'd be forfeiting someone that I love and feel like I have a future with but pain would be reduced eventually. I really don't know what to do. We want to be together, but it logistically doesn't make sense at the moment.
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