The Inituition Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 Hello folks, So the story goes like this, I met this girl online, and she's just amazing, she lives about 6000 miles away from me and a seven hour difference separates us. I've known her for about 4 months, and she's like the most perfect woman out there. She's also 5 years older than I am (I'm 22), and even though I feared this would be bothering me, it doesn't. I have a fear, that I won't be able to see her when I was originally planning to. The plan was me going to study in the US, but unfortunately with the tuition fees over there, it doesn't seem possible. And going there for like a month, would make things worse, because I'd realize I'll have to leave her in some time. I need some words of encouragement, and advice on to how to make this work, since I'm not sure how much more I'll be able to endure without seeing her, or touching her (as cliche as that might sound). And I'm sorry if I missed any details. Thanks!
TokyoG33kyGal Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 first, have you met her in person? don't make any drastic plans yet of moving and such if you have not met yet and see if you two are compatible.
zebracolors Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Hi welcome aboard. Going to agree with TokyoGal. 4 months seems a little soon to make such huge decisions lıke a permanent move. But definitely plan for visits and that way you won't have to worry about enrolling on top of meeting for the first time. Besides, It would take years and a long Immigration process for you to be able to live in the US permanently. You may not get to visit right away so you have to take the steps needed to enable a visit. I have known my LD SO for a year now and been together almost as long but still have not gotten to go visit him yet. Life can put up obsticals or throw curvballs at us sometimes. You have to decide if she is worth the trouble and it sounds to me like you feel she is. And true, a visit is not forever and the parting may be bittersweet (just ask the others here who can still only visit their partners) But if its real, then you just make sure to plan for the next trip, and those visits can become part of your life. Then, when you both are sure there is no one else, thats when you can think about closing the distance part of the relationship. Hope this helps, best wishes for you and her.
orangelady Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 4 months is really not enough to know a person especially if you've met this person online. I was head over heels for a guy I met online even after 1 year. But after 1.5 years, I sort of got to know him better and found out that this wasn't right. Maybe both of you can share the airplane ticket and meet somewhere in the middle?
Author The Inituition Posted May 12, 2011 Author Posted May 12, 2011 Thank you for the wise words, folks! I do know four months is a nonsensical value when it comes to relationships. Also my SO seems to be a lot more head over heels for me, than me over her. And my plan to move there was born before I even knew her, so I thought you know, this could be a good opportunity to study AND get together with whom I think is the perfect one for me. Also, sometimes the thought of continuing this for like a year scares me, because for one thing I may end up studying here and not be able to see her for quite some time, and because I'm a little bit paranoid someone else might take her.
Pianiste Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 The tuition fees are high but you might be able to apply for a grant to study abroad? Most of my friends in uni have studied abroad and they were always able to get a grant. It wasn't always easy and there are various ways to get them: your uni, the foreign uni, foreign exchange programs (government financed) or even from a company. You need the grades and motivation to back up your plans but it's not impossible. :-) But I wouldn't advise you to move there after 4 months of long distance dating, especially if you've never met. I would advise you to meet up. You will have to leave her again but since it's a ldr you'll have to do that a lot more often. Don't make any hasty decisions and first meet up in real life and see how you feel after that.
Author The Inituition Posted May 14, 2011 Author Posted May 14, 2011 Thanks Pianiste, that's what I'll probably do, met her half-way, somewhere in Europe perhaps. I am seriously the last guy to fall for someone over the internet, and that's exactly what happened. I know though, that the decision whether to move there completely, or forget about it is going to be made right after that meet-up. Also, I am being quite paranoid lately, which was one of the reasons I decided to register here and ask you guys for help.
daisy love Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 You seem really sweet! I can tell you are head over heels for each other! You said that you were planning to move there anyway, right? You should get that lined up first and then worry about your R. If your bond is strong, your R will survive. See, my love lives in a different state too. We love each other very much, but neither of us would move before we had things like jobs lined up first. Good luck!!
Author The Inituition Posted May 18, 2011 Author Posted May 18, 2011 Thank you Daisy! Yeah, thats why I'm probably going to extend my work contract over here for a year while I study for some qualifications, in order to secure a more or less stable future, and not just jump into a void hoping to survive the fall I do love her a lot, and this choice of staying at work for some more time is quite a hard decision, but I would do my best to at least meet her a couple of times mid-way, in Europe.
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