Cee Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 My boyfriend showed me a discussion he had on his favorite message board. So now I know his favorite online haunt and his username. Since it's not a board I would normally go on, I leave him be and not lurk on the site. He wouldn't mind if I read his stuff, but it seems a little invasive to follow his discussions. Anyway, I was wondering if people lurk on their SO's favorite sites or they stay away to give "space" as it were. Just curious. This is a whole new world for me. I came of age in the 80s and early 90s so I don't know what the etiquette is around this sort of stuff.
tman666 Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 My boyfriend showed me a discussion he had on his favorite message board. So now I know his favorite online haunt and his username. Since it's not a board I would normally go on, I leave him be and not lurk on the site. He wouldn't mind if I read his stuff, but it seems a little invasive to follow his discussions. Anyway, I was wondering if people lurk on their SO's favorite sites or they stay away to give "space" as it were. Just curious. This is a whole new world for me. I came of age in the 80s and early 90s so I don't know what the etiquette is around this sort of stuff. My girlfriend knows that I post here, and she's even posted a few times here herself (even though she's not active anymore). She knows that I'm not on here discussing anything overly personal about myself or her (anymore, at least...) so I don't feel like she stalks my posts. I wouldn't have a problem with her reading my quips and ramblings. The majority of them are in the Physical Fitness forum, the subject matter of which she gets more-than plenty of at home, I'm sure. That being said, when I first mentioned that I posted on LS to her (many, many months ago), she did snoop through all of my old threads, a couple of which (long forgotten from my own memory) talked about a little crush I had on a girl at work. That obviously caused some tension, not so much regarding my posting on LS, but about the crush. However, we've since worked through it, and I've learned that if you want to have a place to air all of your dirty laundry and secrets, you'd better keep that s**t under wraps. Never forget that the stuff we write here is public for ALL to potentially see. Believe it or not, I didn't initially tell her my user name. She figured it out from my posts. I guess that goes to show how well she knows me...
Rinnix Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 My boyfriend frequents game websites, I don't have to look at what he is writing about because he always tells me as he posts. I know all his usernames, but I also give him his space. I don't need to read everything he posts. I trust him. He also knows what sites I post on. Something tells me he's far more nosey then me. No worries, I have nothing to hide either.
Stung Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 My husband posts on tech sites, about tech stuff. I know his username, but I have zero interest in lurking there and reading his stuff. He knows I post on Loveshack as Stung. I've even told him he can read my past threads, if he likes, with my full permission. As of yet, he has not. He admits he is sometimes a little curious, but he chooses to give me my space. He knows if there's something about our relationship I'm talking over online, I've already talked it over with him in real life, too. Honestly, I don't think a relationship forum really holds that much interest for him--albeit slightly more than his techie forums do for me. I do tell him the gist of some of the more outrageous/interesting threads, and sometimes it sparks some interesting debates between us. I had one previous boyfriend who participated in a forum. He actually deliberately brought me into that forum, and we read each other's posts freely. Mostly we ended up participating in different forum areas, and only checked in with each other occasionally. He was really involved and I was more peripheral, so when we broke up I just stopped posting there. I don't even remember being much tempted to lurk and spy on him--I was heartbroken, but I wasn't fooling myself that it could work out another way, and I just didn't want to be reminded of him at all. Now years later I can't even remember what his screenname was, and I doubt he's still there anyway.
Author Cee Posted May 12, 2011 Author Posted May 12, 2011 I haven't told my boyfriend about Love Shack because he's into boards that discuss politics, economics, and computer tech stuff. I don't want him to read my whining threads about being "forever alone." Speaking of forever alone he got me hooked on reddit and now we have that common language. Often when we are together, we read and talk about the threads.
TokyoG33kyGal Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 i think he won't show you the site if he wanted privacy. it means he probably wants you to look at his discussions, or maybe have some intellectual debate about the topics his interested in. my fiance is never really into boards, i am the one who's into that kind of stuff lol. i have never really asked him what sites he lurks on, never mentioned loveshack to him but i told him that i post on forums. if he finds it, not really a problem but i might find it a bit embarrassing if he reads through my love confessions lol. anyway, he won't be that interested into that kind of stuff so i pretty much have my privacy.
somedude81 Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Lord no, I would never tell a girl I'm dating that I post on loveshack. Since my avatar is a sign that I have hanging in my living room, it wouldn't be hard to figure out who I am. Would I want to know what forums she posts on and stalk her? Damn right I would I'd be curious to learn everything I can about her.
Author Cee Posted May 12, 2011 Author Posted May 12, 2011 On thing that's hilarious about message boards are posters are very passionate about whatever topic it is. I was on a aquatic turtle message board for a time and we geeked out on red ear sliders. Part of my use of discussion boards is to feed a guilty pleasure. I was once on a soap opera discussion board and I would never admit to watching soaps to my friends.
Imajerk17 Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 We each (ideally) have our circle of friends and activities that we don't share with our s/o "in real life", so why should it be any different on the Internet? This forum is a special case though. A s/o reading through posts might be like friends telling to our s/o the stuff that we told our said friends in confidence. I would not want a girl I was involved with seeing threads of me asking for advice/complaining about her!
welikeincrowds Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Part of my use of discussion boards is to feed a guilty pleasure. I was once on a soap opera discussion board and I would never admit to watching soaps to my friends. Totally. To that end, I would never tell anyone but my most trusted confidantes about LS (and even then). No one must know my secret.
Dust Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I like some privacy, I would let a girl know I’m posting but that I want some privacy. Like I don’t even want to get hassled about what youtube comments I make. I don’t spy on girlfriends internet usage either.
Ms. Joolie Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 My fiance was over recently and saw LS in my web browser history or something as he was working on my laptop. Yes, he has read almost all my threads and posts by now. Yes, it created some discussion. No, he wasn't thinking about etiquette or giving me my space on the internet. haha. I set myself up for that one.
Lorelei_Lane Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 My husband knows I post on this site and a few others, he knows the screen names, but doesn't care to read what I'm posting about. I talk to him about everything anyway, so it would be pretty redundant for him. He reads gaming forums and things like that, posts more often than I do there. I've posted on a few. We pretty much just let each other do our own thing.
Star Gazer Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 My ex knew I posted here, and one day asked me, "Hey, are you Star Gazer?" I think talking about him as Skiman kinda clued him in. I asked him not to read my OLD threads, but that he was free to read what I had posted during the duration of our relationship. He said something to the effect of, "No thanks, you're entitled to your private thoughts." He's a poster on TGR, and at one point I did go read his posts... didn't find anything even remotely interesting, so I stopped reading.
carhill Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 My exW and I used to post on many of the same forums, as we had a number of shared interests; subsequent to the D I've discontinued those which were predominantly her interests out of respect to her. The internet is a big place and there's room for everyone FTR, she thought LS was 'stupid' (said exactly that in MC) and never to my knowledge read any of my writings here. I'd have no issue with any future partner reviewing my postings here. There's nothing written here which I couldn't say straight to her face in real life. Humans are a bag of stuff. None of us is perfect.
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