NoIDidn't Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 Great posts, Spark. JLB, I couldn't find the part where you enforced some boundaries and told him to stop showing up at your place uninvited. Until you give him some boundaries to respect, he's going to continue with that BS he just told you. He's not coming out of the fog. He's probably even deeper into it since you now know about her, he's acting like he can just tell you anything and you will still be his W. That mess that he told you doesn't make me feel in any way understanding about his predicament. If I'm his W, I should be the ONE supporting him and I would not tolerate him telling me that he needs me AND another woman to do it and he's not changing anything until he reaches his goal. He's using her and he's using you. I wouldn't care too much about his using her because that's her problem. But I would not allow him to use me and show up whenever he wanted to and spin tales for me about how he needs me and this other woman. That's just too much for me. I hope you told him not to show up at your apartment uninvited anymore, at least. I know you love him, but you've got to demand more respect from him whether he comes back to you or not.
PinkInTheLimo Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 I know that this woman, wants so badly to take my place or my role so to speak. If she can have him, and then my kids, then she has whole package...and then...she can really stick it to me...the woman she despises so much because she knows his heart is not entirely hers...she knows that he is fence sitting as much as I do. This has become a game to the OW. So we talked about her wanting to be around the girls and his telling her no. Don't make this into a competition between you and the OW. Ask yourself if the price (your H) is worth the competition. From what I read, he isn't. You have to be way stricter with him. No more unannounced passing by at your place. No more chit-chat. No entering your bedroom. He now has 2 wives, you and the OW. Don't enter this game. Tell him that if he and the OW are still in contact, no problem, but then you will try to make that situation official by divorcing.
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