fishtaco Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 ...so a relationship isn't a relationship without sex? That's called platonic friendship. Date other girls. This one isn't compatible for anything serious. At your age, that's OK. You should be seeking casual and fun associations as well. I agree with this. Anyway, to me, sex is even a secondary issue. The fact that she does what she wants, and she's unwilling to even to try your side of the world is a bad sign. But this is why: 1) You multidate 2) You date them casually until you're sure If you were just casually dating this one, then really, who cares? If she bores you, drop her. If she's pretty, keep going on dates with her. All the while you're searching for the right one somewhere else.
Mr.Raindrop Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Now now, lets not berate the man for being honest. We all want sex from people we first start dating, don't be a liar or hypocrite and say you don't. But I agree with Tokyo, even if she gives into sex then it's pretty much going to be done. It's really hard to stay in a relationship with someone who you have absolutely nothing in common with. If I were you, I'd just part ways with her and find someone more compatible.
ladyinlimbo Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 (edited) You're such a martyr. Should be nominated for sainthood. Slaving away, busting your ass to put up with the hot college girl because your goal is to "get some" only she's not giving but you feel the more you give the more she "owes" it to you. If you're stupid enough to appease someone all for a piece of ass, then complain about it, well what does that say about you? Nobody is FORCING you to remain with someone you admittedly have zero in common with. Why stick around with someone who's not a match on any level then complain about them not giving you the ONLY THING you're even wanting from them? She's likely not giving it to you because she sees right through you; that you're only after sex. Who's the smart one here :-) Edited May 14, 2011 by ladyinlimbo
Els Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Now now, lets not berate the man for being honest. We all want sex from people we first start dating, don't be a liar or hypocrite and say you don't. There's a difference between just wanting sex, and trying to coerce someone you don't even like or consider yourself to actually be in a relationship with, to have sex with you, like the OP is doing. From what he said, I bet he isn't even going to tell her about his doubts before pushing her for a lay, and then he'll dump her once he's gotten what he wanted from her. DISGUSTING. :sick:
Els Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 You're such a martyr. Should be nominated for sainthood. Slaving away, busting your ass to put up with the hot college girl because your goal is to "get some" only she's not giving but you feel the more you give the more she "owes" it to you. If you're stupid enough to appease someone all for a piece of ass, then complain about it, well what does that say about you? Nobody is FORCING you to remain with someone you admittedly have zero in common with. Why stick around with someone who's not a match on any level then complain about them not giving you the ONLY THING you're even wanting from them? She's likely not giving it to you because she sees right through you; that you're only after sex. Who's the smart one here :-) Roflmao! Pretty darn true, actually. Maybe she is smarter than he gives her credit for, despite her lack of knowledge of Jonathan Swift.
Mr.Raindrop Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 There's a difference between just wanting sex, and trying to coerce someone you don't even like or consider yourself to actually be in a relationship with, to have sex with you, like the OP is doing. From what he said, I bet he isn't even going to tell her about his doubts before pushing her for a lay, and then he'll dump her once he's gotten what he wanted from her. DISGUSTING. :sick: Of course he's going to, that's just human nature.
ladyinlimbo Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Of course he's going to, that's just human nature. Ahh, so you speak for the entire human race do you? Most decent human beings, and that includes men, do not intentionally seek out to use someone only for sex. Notice I said decent. Selfish pigs do, though. Course they'd likely be the same one lookin' to whoop some a$$ if some guy treated their sister that way.
Mr.Raindrop Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Ahh, so you speak for the entire human race do you? Most decent human beings, and that includes men, do not intentionally seek out to use someone only for sex. Notice I said decent. Selfish pigs do, though. Course they'd likely be the same one lookin' to whoop some a$$ if some guy treated their sister that way. Nope, it's just how we all are at heart; don't deny it. The OP clearly isn't ready for a relationship, that much is obvious from how he doesn't like her but continues to date her anyways in hopes he'll get laid, which deems him to be a "selfish pig". But if he was looking into getting a whore to satisfy his want for sex, most people would be ragging on him and consider him a loser. Either way, it's a lost cause for him. I just find it amusing how hypocritical people are, and care so much about other peoples actions that aren't their business.
Els Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Nope, it's just how we all are at heart; don't deny it. Uh. Sorry to burst your bubble... no. There are actually decent human beings in this world. I've been in relationships with 3 of them. It's statements like this that cause people to lose heart in our human counterparts. The OP clearly isn't ready for a relationship, that much is obvious from how he doesn't like her but continues to date her anyways in hopes he'll get laid, which deems him to be a "selfish pig". But if he was looking into getting a whore to satisfy his want for sex, most people would be ragging on him and consider him a loser. Either way, it's a lost cause for him. I just find it amusing how hypocritical people are, and care so much about other peoples actions that aren't their business. Great. I hope you maintain such an optimistic attitude when a girl who isn't interested in you leads you on just to usurp whatever money she can out of you before dumping you.
milkmaterial Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 I'm hesitant to use the word "relationship" because we've only been going out for a month and we haven't had sex yet (which I'll get to later) but I've been going out with the girl from school for the past month. We have nothing in common. I like to spend a night at the jazz club, she likes to go to this rowdy college bar for $1 beers and ice luge. I like jazz and classic rock, she likes Top 40 (). I like going to museums and art galleries, she likes shopping at the mall. In other words, she's your typical ditzy college party girl, but she's cute and attractive so I'm giving her a chance. The problem is whenever we go out, it's all about what she wants to do, and she's never willing to do what I want to do. Whenever I suggest something I want to do, she always refuses and suggests I do what she's doing. She's not even willing to try. I've been putting up with this for the hope of sex but it's been a month and she won't let me past making out. I've tried 2-steps-forward-1-step-back, teasing, "unexpectedly" stopping at a motel on the drive back to her house but it's always a no go. She stops my hand whenever I try to get under the shirt. It's really frustrating. We have a date tonight and once again, she refused my suggestion and suggested I go to where she's going. I'm really thinking of giving the put-out-or-get-out ultimatum. Any other ideas on how I should handle this girl? how old is she? i take it shes , 19?
Mr.Raindrop Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Uh. Sorry to burst your bubble... no. There are actually decent human beings in this world. I've been in relationships with 3 of them. It's statements like this that cause people to lose heart in our human counterparts. I don't recall saying that there isn't any decent people, my point is that they're a minority. Even the "decent human beings" still have those desires, they're just better at not showing them. Great. I hope you maintain such an optimistic attitude when a girl who isn't interested in you leads you on just to usurp whatever money she can out of you before dumping you. I don't understand, was that supposed to be some witty response? That's exactly what I expect, because money is a major factor they look for! I'm sure I'll get a lot of negativity for this one, but it's true.
Art_Critic Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 U1987... she just isn't into you... time to move on to another... Keep her in your queue but you need to be spending time with someone that is into you and wants to be with you.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 I'm hesitant to use the word "relationship" because we've only been going out for a month and we haven't had sex yet (which I'll get to later) but I've been going out with the girl from school for the past month. We have nothing in common. I like to spend a night at the jazz club, she likes to go to this rowdy college bar for $1 beers and ice luge. I like jazz and classic rock, she likes Top 40 (). I like going to museums and art galleries, she likes shopping at the mall. In other words, she's your typical ditzy college party girl, but she's cute and attractive so I'm giving her a chance. The problem is whenever we go out, it's all about what she wants to do, and she's never willing to do what I want to do. Whenever I suggest something I want to do, she always refuses and suggests I do what she's doing. She's not even willing to try. I've been putting up with this for the hope of sex but it's been a month and she won't let me past making out. I've tried 2-steps-forward-1-step-back, teasing, "unexpectedly" stopping at a motel on the drive back to her house but it's always a no go. She stops my hand whenever I try to get under the shirt. It's really frustrating. We have a date tonight and once again, she refused my suggestion and suggested I go to where she's going. I'm really thinking of giving the put-out-or-get-out ultimatum. Any other ideas on how I should handle this girl? After reading this again I would suggest that you find another girl to date. Yeah you shouldn't be using someone just for sex (without letting them know this) but at the same time you will never be happy with a girl that has completely different interests and values as you do. Happiness > sex any day of the week. Personally I don't know if I could date a girl who liked listening to the garbage they call "music" nowadays (top 40 stuff). A word of caution though: I find it very rare to find a girl under age 35 that actually likes Classic Rock, like one-in-a-million rare. So just be warned.
marigold7 Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 After reading this again I would suggest that you find another girl to date. Yeah you shouldn't be using someone just for sex (without letting them know this) but at the same time you will never be happy with a girl that has completely different interests and values as you do. Happiness > sex any day of the week. Personally I don't know if I could date a girl who liked listening to the garbage they call "music" nowadays (top 40 stuff). A word of caution though: I find it very rare to find a girl under age 35 that actually likes Classic Rock, like one-in-a-million rare. So just be warned. I agree to a large extent. However, I don't think it's all that hard to find a girl under age 35 who likes Classic Rock. Not that it's easy either, but it's not too difficult, at least in my area. Mr. Raindrop - I have to agree with you partially when it comes to how women want $...but in most people it's a healthy preference, not a huge deal. And anyway, with the "traditional" family system where a woman takes care of the children and usually only works publicly part-time if at all until the children are old enough to really take care of themselves to a large extent and the man brings home the paycheck, I think that's a reasonable preference. Many women who don't want to work publicly to earn financial income would prefer, logically, that their husband has a large enough paycheck to provide for the family's comfort and wellbeing. (Others would strongly prefer a lower paycheck if it meant less stress on their husband.) And about the desire for sex...yea it's normal to want it, but I sincerely doubt (and agree with ladyinlimbo & Elswyth) that most people are looking to use people for that sole purpose. This world would be a lot worse off if that were true. And for the OP - you have repeatedly tried to come on to her physically after she has told you no without talking about it and getting the go-ahead? I'm glad I'm not that girl! Oh and there ARE romantic relationships that don't involve sex. They seem to be harder to find, but they still exist. I think a relationship can be romantic if the two people are just kissing and exclusively hanging out with each other a lot. I assume that's the kind of relationship Biscuitxoxo was talking about. & i'll get off the soapbox. sorry lol
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