Unbalanced Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 I've been talking to this girl for like a month. 5 days ago we had a talk, and decided we would break things off with each other if either of us decided we wanted to see other people, thus making us exclusive, no? Anyway, in that conversation, she also threw in that she didn't want to move too fast, and I responded "don't worry, I won't be inviting you to any family vacations anytime soon" she laughed, and it was a great night after that....so here's what bothers me! well for one she texts me ALLL the time which I don't mind at all, but when it comes to hanging out in person its like half the time she says she can, and the other half no. Even though I can't necessarily complain about that, but she RARELY is the one to initiate hanging out. So not only am I the one initiating plans, but she's rejecting them half the time which makes me hesitant to even try to make plans in the first place. However, when she does say she is coming to a plan, she will never cancel or flake out which is something I definitely like. Basically, I feel like im not getting as much out of this as I would like for an exclusive relationship. Like one thing I really want is for her to at least sleep over my place since I have a single. Not every night, but most nights or even 3 outta 7 for the week minimum. She has only slept over once in like 2 weeks... Also I don't necessarily feel insecure, but I'm really insecure at the thought of appearing insecure to her if that makes sense? So i feel like i'd rather not say whats bothering me in this case..
Cee Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 You want her to sleep over 3 nights out of 7, minimum? That's too much for a couple dating only 4 weeks. Look at the pace she is setting and see if it makes logical sense. I know you really like her, but it takes time to get to know someone. Trust that she likes you and slow down. You will know over time whether the two of you are growing closer or drifting apart.
VicJay79 Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 Unbalanced, I understand what your going through. I am the type of person that LOVES moving fast in an relationship. Who doesn't want to fast-track to being best friends, soulmates, and etc. The problem is this, women like to take things slow, because they have all these weird emotions that they need to figure out. The hardest thing you will have to do is trying to go at her emotional pace. Its really a test of patient, and respect for the other party. I have to be honest, i am finding this hard to do myself, since I do fall in love pretty fast, and when I do like to get from point 1 - to point 10 . The method of limiting my emotional pace was more an issue of reality checks. I just realized she isn't as perfect as I thought. She has tons of flaws, one of them being her ability to understand me, and how lucky she is to have a guy that cares about her as much as I do. If she is smart, with the new space I am giving her, she will appreciate that. If not then the heart will break, but brokenly it will move on. I've been talking to this girl for like a month. 5 days ago we had a talk, and decided we would break things off with each other if either of us decided we wanted to see other people, thus making us exclusive, no? Anyway, in that conversation, she also threw in that she didn't want to move too fast, and I responded "don't worry, I won't be inviting you to any family vacations anytime soon" she laughed, and it was a great night after that....so here's what bothers me! well for one she texts me ALLL the time which I don't mind at all, but when it comes to hanging out in person its like half the time she says she can, and the other half no. Even though I can't necessarily complain about that, but she RARELY is the one to initiate hanging out. So not only am I the one initiating plans, but she's rejecting them half the time which makes me hesitant to even try to make plans in the first place. However, when she does say she is coming to a plan, she will never cancel or flake out which is something I definitely like. Basically, I feel like im not getting as much out of this as I would like for an exclusive relationship. Like one thing I really want is for her to at least sleep over my place since I have a single. Not every night, but most nights or even 3 outta 7 for the week minimum. She has only slept over once in like 2 weeks... Also I don't necessarily feel insecure, but I'm really insecure at the thought of appearing insecure to her if that makes sense? So i feel like i'd rather not say whats bothering me in this case..
2sure Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 Sleeping over your house 3 nights a week ....seems, well, nuts to me. More than anything, most people prefer to start their day from their own bed. If this is something you have been bringing up to her or suggesting whenever you do get together...she probably is avoiding getting together with you ...because she just doesnt want to sleep over.
fishtaco Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 Yeah, 3 nights a week is kind of a lot when you've only been together this short. If she's up for it, no problem, have fun. But it's not uncommon, and it's not a big deal, that she doesn't want to do it. Just enjoy and wait and see if the relationship progresses. If you want a good relationship, sometimes, you just have to put down your bet. I placed my bet with the last girl I was with, I was exclusive with her, but I lost. She decided to bail on me. It sucks, but a bet is a bet. If I didn't make the bet, my chances would have been zero. At least I gave it a shot. So just chill out, go with the flow and keep your eyes open. As long as there's progress, and her actions match her words, I believe you'd be on the track.
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