FlyAway&ComeBack Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 My story is on my thread posting. It has been 3 months (to the day) that me and my ex fiance broke up. I'm still waiting on him. I know there is no other woman in his life. I know he is depressed.. I have found in myself that I can't help him if he can't help himself. I love him with everything. People say I should give him "space", which I do. I text him twice a day telling him basically good morning and good night. We haven't seen each other in 2 weeks he says he just doesn't want to deal with people. It's not just me. We talk a little here and there everyday. Earlier this week was the first time we didn't talk in 2+ years. It was very weird.. I'm hoping to see him tomorrow. We haven't made any progress... Just he is in this slump.. I feel like I will be walking away from my life with him if I don't stick through this depression. He did agree to see a doctor though (thank God). Just don't know what to do! My mind is telling my to let go... My heart is telling me to stay. I read this little mini online book and it says if I feel there's still hope, I mean really feel it.. Not just telling myself everything will be ok. Then I should still try for it. I know he still feels like theres hope he just doesn't care right now.. Just how long is to long? I don't want to be waiting for him and him just stringing me along. Which i'm pretty sure he would tell me.. But I don't even know what he thinks about anymore. I told him I wanted to come over and listen to his heart to make sure it's still there..
giuliano-3 Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 Dunno what to say, I got strung along for a long time. She didn't tell me about how serious she and her new guy were. I still feel the possibility of us getting back together. Our time together was nothing short of magical. I've honestly got no advice to give you. Can't say for sure whether you and he are meant to be. I've gotta go with Chris Rock on this one...
Author FlyAway&ComeBack Posted May 12, 2011 Author Posted May 12, 2011 But he's not talking to any other women. He said if he were he would tell me. Plus I have his passwords so.. Can't be too too sneaky.
Jdw_Icequeen Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I think its great he is going to see a doctor. No one can tell you how long is to long to wait. If your not there already you will evetually get fed up with the waiting or maybe not. I suppose you could just go on like this as long as you want and put your life on hold.. What you really need to determine is wether this person is worth all the heartache and waiting because you won't be doing any healing while you wait for him to do his. I can see the point by staying together and working on it because I think thats what true love is really about staying with someone through the good and bad times and helping them out of the fire just as they should do for you. Its good your giving him space and I can understand wanting to give him a chance and wait for him. My ex and I started off on a break and then to many other things came involved like lies and stupid things he would do to drive me insane. It is very possible that if I could have put my emotions away and worked on myself, starting fresh with him without all the drama, we may have made it. Once it starts weighing on you to the point it is driving you to complete insanity and disrupting your everday life with pain and misery like it was mine, is when I decided to bow out. I just couldn't do it even though I knew if I hung in there,we could have had a second chance. The pain and misery I was feeling was to hard on me. I couldn't take the "what if risk" go through all of that crap not to get a second chance then continue in my pain and devestation. So when it gets to tough for you to handle and the risk of not getting back together is more overwhelming then the chance of actually making things work. You will know.
Call Me Al Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I went through this for 2 months. I basically just continued to kick the can down the street, re-evaluate my options every few weeks, and became frustrated by the lack of change. I honestly wish I would have walked sooner. In the end, I told her I wasn't shutting her out of my life but as time has passed I have realized that its for the best that she isn't a part of my life. One of the best things a therapist said to me during a recent session was regarding my breakup and how things were so awesome at first and they took a 180 out of nowhere. The question she asked me is "do you think a person suffering with a severe depression can exist in a healthy, happy relationship?" My advice would be to walk away for now. You being in the picture may add an extra level of pressure to his depression...which totally isnt your fault, but consider that a seriously depressed person cant really love someone else if they cant love themselves.
Author FlyAway&ComeBack Posted May 12, 2011 Author Posted May 12, 2011 He tells me it has nothing to do with me. Which, I could agree that I do what he asks, not to text him a lot etc.. He just says he doesn't want to deal with people. I'm glad he's going to see the doctor.. But when... he needs to soon. I'm not in pain as much as I was 3 months ago THAT'S FOR SURE. I rarely feel alone anymore.. i just find myself longing to be with him like we use to be. Our love was soo soo deep. Just feeding off each others love. Gives me chills just thinking about it. I think the one thing mentally I miss the most is the comfort of knowing I always had someone there.. Always. But I do agree with the "If you can't love yourself, you can't love anyone else." That's some of what he is doing. He is getting to where he doesn't see himself as ugly etc. anymore or trying to working out etc. He doesn't feel good enough for me.. That is one of the reasons why we broke up.. But he is and he SHOULD know that he is good enough. But he doesn't understand how. We're going to talk on the phone (which we rarely do) tonight. I'm nervous, I don't know what to say.. I don't want to fight or argue. I don't want to cry.. I just want to talk. But I also want to know if he really feels deep down in his gut that we will never be together. I'm scared to know the answer though.. So I don't know I'm just nervous. :/
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