betterdeal Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 (edited) Maybe your neighbour knew more about Italian cuisine than the Italian he was correcting. And maybe he knew more about the French language than the Frenchwoman he corrected. What's really interesting about your post is that exactly those flaws you claim to perceive in others, appear to be your own. What are they then? Making assumptions based on incomplete information? You think that's what I have done? I certainly do have flaws and do make assumptions, that is true, but you suggest I have in these cases, based on what, exactly? There's no basis for you to assume that any random Italian person is going to know more about carbonara than a non-Italian. And your basis for assuming she was a random Italian is? What do you know about Italian cooking? A little. I certainly know the main ingredients of carbonara. The exact same thing applies to the Frenchwoman. And again, was she a random French woman and how do you know this information? So please clarify: What did the man who corrected the Italian actually say about carbonara, and why do you believe what he said was incorrect? He said the meat in carbonara is chicken. Given that carbonara was probably invented during WW2 with the powdered eggs and bacon supplied to American troops stationed in Italy, every dish of carbonara I have had in homes and restaurants has had bacon or a bacon-like pork substance in it, and not chicken, and that every recipe for carbonara I have read doesn't have chicken in it, and that my Italian friend is a reasonably good cook, I'm confident that what he said was incorrect. What about the interaction with the Frenchwoman? Given that she's French, teaches French, and has a degree in linguistics, whereas he is a casual labourer, is English, has no qualifications in languages, and I have had further verification by way of sharing the anecdote with two bilingual friends of mine, I've have indeed assumed she knows how to say "the monkey lives in the tree" rather than "the wise old man lives in the tree" in French better than he did. For that matter, did either incident actually happen, or are you just trying to make a point? I have made my point. Perhaps the incidents didn't happen. Perhaps I am a figment of your over-active imagination. Perhaps the Earth is flat, Elvis lives on a moon made of cheese and your world-view is right, just that everyone else is marching out of step to your tune. Edited May 16, 2011 by betterdeal
Joe Normal Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 People overdiagnose on here (and online, and in the USA in particular). A psychopath is not just someone who slept with you then dumped you, hurting your feelings. I know of a psychopath and they have tortured people, ruined peoples careers and marriages, been in jail etc. Just making you feel bad because you got used for sex is not psychopathic behaviour.
nordic Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 People overdiagnose on here (and online, and in the USA in particular). A psychopath is not just someone who slept with you then dumped you, hurting your feelings. I know of a psychopath and they have tortured people, ruined peoples careers and marriages, been in jail etc. Just making you feel bad because you got used for sex is not psychopathic behaviour. agree, this discussion is for women who are lashing out coz they were used for sex and then abandoned. and its not really answering the question. a good target for seduction is someone that you may succeed in taking to bed. that does not imply a women who must be hurt. it could be. but it could also be a girl who just likes sex.
Heather1 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 wow, is this an interesting topic. OK, I don't feel like a victim really, but it did start out after 3 significant deaths & I was pretty vulnerable. I read some of the players stuff on-line & the one I liked the most was pleasing the woman so you could keep coming back for more Then there was one that said make sure you never buy gifts, compliment,etc.. Anyway, all in all I'm glad I told MM he can't treat me like that & to go to hell. Where do I find the pleasing woman player?? ha,ha. I think my OM read the 2nd site, the total loser one.
nordic Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 wow, is this an interesting topic. OK, I don't feel like a victim really, but it did start out after 3 significant deaths & I was pretty vulnerable. I read some of the players stuff on-line & the one I liked the most was pleasing the woman so you could keep coming back for more Then there was one that said make sure you never buy gifts, compliment,etc.. Anyway, all in all I'm glad I told MM he can't treat me like that & to go to hell. Where do I find the pleasing woman player?? ha,ha. I think my OM read the 2nd site, the total loser one. i am here. just send your phone number baby:-)
Author Breezy Trousers Posted May 18, 2011 Author Posted May 18, 2011 and allow me to give you this small peice of advice to the people that where "preyed upon" dont place all the blame on the sociopath. might sound like salt in the wound but I say this for your own personal well being. putting all of the blame on the predator means putting the RESPONSIBILTY on their shoulders. and with that responsibility comes CONTROL. if you are looking at yourself as the helpless victim in the scenario then whether you realized it or not you are letting yourself be defined by the person that used you. you where lured into betraying yourself and possibly your loved one by what that person was offering you. but the fact that the lure was fake does not make the fact that the you bit on it hook line and sinker. even if the lies i told those married woman had been true, that wouldnt change that they betrayed their husbands to get what they wanted. (something that betrays a little bit of the ugly sociopath in us all) dont run from the sense of guilt you feel. accept it. learn from it. let it change how you will act in the future. let it make you a better person. if you dont it will slowly consume your life and everone in it. Great post. Excellent advise. Thanks.
Recommended Posts