Hotdog Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 Hello, I was in a whirlwind romance with this guy I met online in March, we're in our 30/40's and seemed to have a lot of attraction and chemistry etc on and offline, things progressed quickly and we already travelled together after knowing each other for only a month. We learned more about each other during the trip, he's a caring person though we had minor disagreements (and slience) and I realized he's not perfect, but neither am I, yet to me it's part of the process discovering each other, I assumed it's what's in his mind too, I never asked. Yet after the trip things changed - at least that how i feel - he's gone quieter and not as keen as before the trip asking to see me in person (we haven't met for 3 weeks since our trip), while we still chat online he has stopped calling, texting etc. He also doesn't sound as playful, "mushy" and flirty as before. I suggested going to his place for a movie+pizza night last weekend, and he said he might be out with the boys in a pub so not sure if he could make it and said "we'll see!" My instincts told me he's trying to slowly withdrawing, so I replied asking him if he wanted us to stop meeting and he said "if thats the case I would have blocked you (on MSN)", followed by a ":P". We didn't meet in the end of course. After that he still says hi online from time to time and we still chat but our conversations are all carried out virtually. When we were planning for our trip, we chatted, emailed and texted each other every day, we called sometimes and we met too. I'm not sure if all these have given me an illusion that we're intimate and moving towards the "right direction" so now that the trip's over, I feel a sense of loss and we no longer have a "common goal", I'm not sure if thats the reason why I feel we're not as close as before, yet my gut feel is that he's pulling away and wants to be friends only. I've been trying to keep myself occupied, and have stopped pursuing from my end actually so now I no longer initiate anything (not even saying hi first..), am not playing games but I know love can't be forced and I'm not in a hurry. He's a good man so I'm interested in getting to know him better despite our differences, yet I don't want him to feel pressured so I'm willing to give him time, though I'm not too sure if I'm doing the right thing. I have prepared for the worst that this is a short-lived encounter but I'd appreciate your thoughts on this, thanks.
ShatteredReality Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 Yup...sounds to me like it's time to move on....that sucks too, I know it does...but you'll be better off without this heartache anyhow. Go NC and let him get in touch with you if he's got something to say to you.
Author Hotdog Posted May 12, 2011 Author Posted May 12, 2011 Thanks. He still says hi to me but on MSN only. I have the urge to ask him if he's still interested in me romantically as I think if he's not as excited as before I don't see the point wasting each other's/my time. I don't see him as a bad guy I just feel perhaps he doesn't feel a connection with me anymore or perhaps it's just not meant to be. Or should I just let it be and move on?
Author Hotdog Posted May 13, 2011 Author Posted May 13, 2011 As an update, I said goodbye to him last night by email as while he's a good man, my instincts tell me strongly that it's not meant to be so I don't want to waste my time. We're never girlfriend boyfriend despite the intimacy and connection we had but I can only accomodate one love interest at a time, mentally I need to end it before I can be ready to see other people again. Its just me I guess, but thanks for your advice, really appreciate it.
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