emmyd Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 So... i broke up with my boyfriend about 5 weeks ago. That very day a guy a know (we would ask about each others lives when we saw each other places but we weren't friends who are involved in each others lives) who works with my roommate asked me if i was going to the bar. (we both frequent the same place with different people) He asked if he could come along and he met up with me there. After we were done there he came over to my house and watched a movie and hung out with me. That night he slept on the couch. For the next two weeks he would text me just about every day and come over just about every evening to hang out with me and continue to sleep on the couch at night. Then about 2 weeks ago (continuing to come over in the evenings) he started sleeping in my bed but our relationship was still platonic. We'd still never kissed our fooled around or anything. We would cuddle and that's it. That went on about a week in a half... every night! Then 2 days ago he woke me up at 4 in the morning when he was talking in his sleep... so i shoved him to get him to shut up lol and rolled back over. It woke him up and he made a move. We ended up making out and messing around for about 2 hours and then when we started removing cloths i put a stop to it. I told him we couldn't have sex because I was afraid things will get weird and i like him as a person too much to screw things up. We went back to sleep and everything seemed fine. The next day he text and asked to come over to watch a movie and i accepted no problem.. i just like having him around. But then he text and said he was gonna take a rain check for tomorrow instead. I told him i didn't know what i had going on for tomorrow night and i would let him know. Now... that you know the back story, I have some questions about my situation... did i screw up the friendship by shooting him down? Do you think i hurt his feeling or his pride? Do you think he was trying to date me this whole time and i had no idea? Should I actually text him today or should i leave it alone for a few days? Give me any feedback you have! any suggestions!!! help would be most appreciated!
alexlakeman Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 He wanted to get laid, realized its not going to happen
thatdog Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 did i screw up the friendship by shooting him down? Depends on if there was a friendship in the first place. But I doubt it. Do you think i hurt his feeling or his pride? No but you probably confused the hell out of him. Do you think he was trying to date me this whole time and i had no idea? You can't really be serious can you? A guy finds out you are single and proceeds to spend EVERY night at your place. Of course he likes you. Odds are he hasn't done anything before because he knew you were just freshly single so he either didn't make a move because he thought you would need some time to get over your ex first and was looking for you to initiate or he has really liked you for a while and was torn between not wanting to be your 'rebound' and not wanting to miss his chance by waiting so long that you find someone else (so he spends all his time with you so you don't have an opportunity for that) Should I actually text him today or should i leave it alone for a few days? Depends what you want out of this. IMO just be direct. Call him and ask to catch up soon and have a serious talk about what happend. Try and get him to admit his feelings and what he wants from you. then you can decide for yourself where you want to go from here. But PLEASE consider his feelings as well. If he likes you and you just want to be friends try and have some empathy and accept the fact it will be very difficult for him to do that.
Sabali Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 My favorite part is when you two cuddled in bed, slept in the same bed every day for over a week and made out for 2 hours but you stopped at sex because you was "afraid things will get weird" and said that you liked him as a person too much to screw things up. Things were not "wierd" before the penis was being introduced.
tb24 Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 Classic case of being friend zoned. Guy doesn't reveal his intentions fast enough, girl likes him as a friend. Guy makes move and gets shot down. However, don't you think sleeping in the same bed was at all 'weird'? Considering you were just friends... or the fact that he latched on to you the second you were single. He wants to date you.
Author emmyd Posted May 11, 2011 Author Posted May 11, 2011 Really... thank you for all your input! I understand i am clueless when it comes to dating or not dating or whatever... lol! thatdog: you did give me alot of insight... and also kinda made me feel like a total dumbass! lol but anyway, i think i really would like to date him. We have alot in common and stuff... but after slightly rejecting him i don't know how this would come about... lol Sabali: Yeah... i did understand that sleeping in the same bed and cuddleing did change things a bit. But, also i feel that when you have sex with someone it changes things forever. There's an invisible line that i was afraid to cross... and i do just really like having him around. We have fun and understand each other. TB24: I don't feel like i've "friend zone"-ed him! I am still very attracted to him and would like to maybe actually date him someday. So i was just afraid of ruining it or something. I didn't want to make a bad choice that i could never take back... and that might change things. Who knows. I did fail to mention that we went to the same high school and now we both live in the same small ass town that we both grew up in. I've known him for years and we frequent most of the same places. Also... most of my friends are his friends and vice versa... we know most of the same people and such. But before the break-up we didn't really communicate. Plus he works with my roommate. Does this fact change anyone's perspective
musemaj11 Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 Sometimes I want to take women seriously. But often they are not helping.
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