somedude81 Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 As the final week of instruction ends, I've gone through every girl I was interested in this semester. I've been rejected by six (non-random) girls and one of those, I'm completely crazy about. I had a huge crush on her for a year, and today the coffin was completely nailed. I started this university back in August of 2008. I had high hopes that I would have had a girlfriend by now. But I haven't even kissed a single girl. All I've managed to do is make some friends, and get rejected by three girls that I really liked and a bunch of others I didn't really feel anything for but felt close enough to, to ask out. Before every semester I always started getting hopeful that the next session starting would be the one where I finally get something. But after seven semesters, I think it's time to face the music that it's just not going to happen. There is no reason to believe that anything will be different in the fall. I'm definitely not looking forward to turning 30 at the end of August. Heck I don't look forward to anything anymore. After college it doesn't seem that things will get any easier. I really don't want to spend the next 50 or so years of my life sad and depressed because I'm alone.
collegeguy_24 Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 Ask out random girls, try Craigslist, other dating sites. If you see a girl, go ask her out. Thats what I did.
little.skittles Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 What kind of girls are you going for? You should try a different approach. Maybe there is some other cute girl you haven't taken notice to that is too shy to speak up. Go for them ones, they are way nicer.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 As the final week of instruction ends, I've gone through every girl I was interested in this semester. I've been rejected by six (non-random) girls and one of those, I'm completely crazy about. I had a huge crush on her for a year, and today the coffin was completely nailed. I started this university back in August of 2008. I had high hopes that I would have had a girlfriend by now. But I haven't even kissed a single girl. All I've managed to do is make some friends, and get rejected by three girls that I really liked and a bunch of others I didn't really feel anything for but felt close enough to, to ask out. Before every semester I always started getting hopeful that the next session starting would be the one where I finally get something. But after seven semesters, I think it's time to face the music that it's just not going to happen. There is no reason to believe that anything will be different in the fall. I'm definitely not looking forward to turning 30 at the end of August. Heck I don't look forward to anything anymore. After college it doesn't seem that things will get any easier. I really don't want to spend the next 50 or so years of my life sad and depressed because I'm alone. Could have written this myself with some minor changes.
Author somedude81 Posted May 11, 2011 Author Posted May 11, 2011 All, of the girl were nice and fun. Some more outgoing than others and varying from nerds to pretty cool. All were cute but none of them were physically out of my league. I don't go for the hot girls. collegeguy, how is the asking out random girls thing working out? For some reason, I just can't see me getting any success from it.
Author somedude81 Posted May 11, 2011 Author Posted May 11, 2011 I didn't approach each girl the same way. I tired different levels of aggressiveness and changing my tactics. Random women aren't gong to friendzone me, they'd just flat out reject me. Even then, I will only let a girl friendzone me if I want to keep trying with her. With all but one of the girls who rejected me at college, I stopped talking to shortly after.
collegeguy_24 Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 All, of the girl were nice and fun. Some more outgoing than others and varying from nerds to pretty cool. All were cute but none of them were physically out of my league. I don't go for the hot girls. collegeguy, how is the asking out random girls thing working out? For some reason, I just can't see me getting any success from it. By asking out random girls, I got 7 dates in two weeks before I met my current GF.
Darren Taylor Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 OP, are you sure you're going for those in your league? Surely there must be some that are interested in you. To me, it seems that you ignore those that are interested in you and going for those that are way up there.
Author somedude81 Posted May 11, 2011 Author Posted May 11, 2011 By asking out random girls, I got 7 dates in two weeks before I met my current GF. What's your method? OP, are you sure you're going for those in your league? Unless, I'm significantly less attractive than I think I am, yes. Surely there must be some that are interested in you. To me, it seems that you ignore those that are interested in you and going for those that are way up there.There might be a chance that I've ignored a girl who was interested in me if she was really shy about it and didn't let me know at all. I asked out just about every girl who seemed to enjoy my company. The only ones I didn't ask out, I found out that they had boyfriends before I got around to it.
Lilmisus Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 So far it sounds like you've gone that great way about trying to find someone to date. Having good hopes at the beginning of the semester..trying to talk to different girls..try asking them out..all good things. Sure you've struck out each time..but by giving up, that wont increase your chances at all. All you have to do now is expand your horizons and figure out why they each have declined your offers. Is it the way you carry yourself? Dress? Talk? Did you wait too long and were friend zoned by doing so? Could you go get a haircut? Style change? Weight loss? I haven't seen what you look like, but I know I've read someone say that you were good looking, so I'll trust that and trust that that isn't the issue here. Just don't give up..try something new. Or maybe somewhere new?
Els Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 I'm truly sorry to hear that. Despite my often cavalier responses, aimed at poking you out of the dumps, I genuinely feel you. I went through a phase like that during my teens. Graduation might be a good thing though. You're not tied down anymore, and you can alter the playing field. Get into another place, a different community, and try your luck there. You'd be surprised how much the community affects your pool of viable partners. Good luck.
salty goodness Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 to the op: since i'm assuming you went back to school to better your life and expand your horizons i suggest you focus on school, on graduating and stop concentrating so much on your dating life.
BiscuitXOXO Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 to the op: since i'm assuming you went back to school to better your life and expand your horizons i suggest you focus on school, on graduating and stop concentrating so much on your dating life. I disagree...I suggest focusing on both. After all, you only live this life once. If he concentrates and finishes school, what then? Tell him to focus on getting a job? Then focusing on getting promoted to earn 6 figures on the job? Ambition never ends, but dating does.
Els Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 I disagree...I suggest focusing on both. After all, you only live this life once. If he concentrates and finishes school, what then? Tell him to focus on getting a job? Then focusing on getting promoted to earn 6 figures on the job? Ambition never ends, but dating does. Neither actually ends. 'Happily ever after' in relationships is a concept reserved solely for fairytales. Getting into a relationship is only the start of a journey.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 I disagree...I suggest focusing on both. After all, you only live this life once. If he concentrates and finishes school, what then? Tell him to focus on getting a job? Then focusing on getting promoted to earn 6 figures on the job? Ambition never ends, but dating does. Exactly. People meet other people and date all the time in college, most do not let their grades suffer because of it. Life will never be perfect. There will always be another horizon to chase, another excuse not to try to meet someone. The issue here is not about where to focus, it's about making it so his chances of getting a date (eventually a relationship) are at least somewhat better than winning the lottery. I don't think most people get this.
BiscuitXOXO Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 Neither actually ends. 'Happily ever after' in relationships is a concept reserved solely for fairytales. Getting into a relationship is only the start of a journey. True, but if he never takes the first step (beginning a relationship) he'll never even make it halfway.
oaks Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 I started this university back in August of 2008. I had high hopes that I would have had a girlfriend by now. But I haven't even kissed a single girl. All I've managed to do is make some friends, and get rejected by three girls that I really liked and a bunch of others I didn't really feel anything for but felt close enough to, to ask out. So in 3 years you only found 3 girls you really liked? Ok, so enough of the self pity and whining on here. What are you going to do about it?
Els Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 True, but if he never takes the first step (beginning a relationship) he'll never even make it halfway. If you read the OP's posts, he has attempted many, many first steps.
BiscuitXOXO Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 If you read the OP's posts, he has attempted many, many first steps. I guess I'm not making myself clear. My point is, he shouldn't give up and focus solely on schooling, as salty goodness suggested. If he does, then he'll stop even trying to take those small first steps that are necessary to begin a relationship.
tman666 Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 Gimme a break, somedude81. It's always the same. "Fiddlesticks, I'm going to turn 30, which automatically takes me off the dating market for good", "Shucks, I'm sure that life after college will be nothing but a gigantic black hole". I know plenty of guys who are doing just swell with the ladies and they're in their early thirties. They're dating hotties who are in their mid to early twenties. They all have several things in common: good, stable jobs (not necessarily rich guys, but they take care of themselves and have forward financial progression), good bodies (they are serious about working out and bettering themselves), and no fear of talking to women. They aren't players or obnoxious *******s. They just know how to talk to other women and girls with confidence and sincere friendliness. There's been a lot of people here trying to help you, but YOU are the one who has to evolve. You need to get it out of your mind that there's something holding you back. Your limitations are self imposed.
Author somedude81 Posted May 11, 2011 Author Posted May 11, 2011 I'm truly sorry to hear that. Despite my often cavalier responses, aimed at poking you out of the dumps, I genuinely feel you. I went through a phase like that during my teens. Graduation might be a good thing though. You're not tied down anymore, and you can alter the playing field. Get into another place, a different community, and try your luck there. You'd be surprised how much the community affects your pool of viable partners. Good luck. I wonder if moving to a different part of the country or heck maybe another country would fix the issue. For whatever reason, I've had no luck with girls in California. BTW California is a big state and I've tried both in the north and the south. to the op: since i'm assuming you went back to school to better your life and expand your horizons i suggest you focus on school, on graduating and stop concentrating so much on your dating life. I wish I could stop concentrating on my dating life. But that just isn't possible. I can't turn off my need for companionship. What I want is a natural human desire, which is common enough in people that a place called loveshack.org was made... I disagree...I suggest focusing on both. After all, you only live this life once. If he concentrates and finishes school, what then? Tell him to focus on getting a job? Then focusing on getting promoted to earn 6 figures on the job? Ambition never ends, but dating does. Great point. There is no point in waiting. So in 3 years you only found 3 girls you really liked? Yeah, I almost fell in love with three girls. What's your point? That doesn't count all the minor crushes I had on other girls. Ok, so enough of the self pity and whining on here. What are you going to do about it? I have no idea. Maybe I'll figure something out if I start to feel better. I know plenty of guys who are doing just swell with the ladies and they're in their early thirties. They're dating hotties who are in their mid to early twenties. They all have several things in common How were they doing before they reached their 30's? My problem is that I feel like little leaguer who is going to be forced into the majors. I won't be able to compete. College was the minor leagues and I completely failed. This forum has shown me that there are many women my age, who would not give me a chance simply because I have no dating experience. There's been a lot of people here trying to help you, but YOU are the one who has to evolve. You need to get it out of your mind that there's something holding you back. Your limitations are self imposed. I don't know if evolution is the key. More like a complete transformation. How can you say that it's my mind holding me back and I have self-imposed limits; when women are the ones rejecting me?
Ross MwcFan Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 You need to get ballsier son. How does he do that?
Els Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 I wonder if moving to a different part of the country or heck maybe another country would fix the issue. For whatever reason, I've had no luck with girls in California. BTW California is a big state and I've tried both in the north and the south. Community isn't solely dictated by location. The college and working environment, for instance, is a completely different one. Neighborhoods, societies you join, etc. For all you know, college just isn't your domain. From what I recall you saying, you're at least 8 years older than most of the girls in your class. I personally would have serious qualms about going out with a guy 8 years my senior, especially if he were still in college (no offense intended, just personal preference). Other girls may feel the same. You might have better luck at work.
oaks Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 Yeah, I almost fell in love with three girls. What's your point? That doesn't count all the minor crushes I had on other girls. Well I'm not sure if you're just being too picky or if you're just not meeting many girls. Do you do any hobbies or sports where you can go and meet new people?
Author somedude81 Posted May 11, 2011 Author Posted May 11, 2011 Community isn't solely dictated by location. The college and working environment, for instance, is a completely different one. Neighborhoods, societies you join, etc. For all you know, college just isn't your domain. From what I recall you saying, you're at least 8 years older than most of the girls in your class. I personally would have serious qualms about going out with a guy 8 years my senior, especially if he were still in college (no offense intended, just personal preference). Other girls may feel the same. You might have better luck at work. I didn't have any better luck when the girls were my own age. I've actually gone a lot further at my age than I have in the past. When I was college age 18-22, I was super shy, awkward and I don't look nearly as good as I do now. Who I was back then didn't have a snowballs chance in hell in actually getting a GF. BTW, since age always comes up as a reason why not, I always give the standard answer of, "girls don't know how old I am. Unless I tell them otherwise, they always think I'm much younger than I am." The last two girls I asked out, thought it was in my early twenties. Well I'm not sure if you're just being too picky or if you're just not meeting many girls. Do you do any hobbies or sports where you can go and meet new people? I meet lots of women each semester. Meeting new girls has never been a problem. The trouble comes when I have to start narrowing down the number to girls who seem to enjoy my company, then asking them out. Half the girls have boyfriends and the other half just reject me. Though if I'm super lucky, I might be one date, then a rejection.
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